Wednesday, October 04, 2006

Eat Your Heart Out, John Mark Karr


1. "It's okay, my love. We're leftists. No one will question our forbidden love."

2. "I'd thank heaven for little girls, but of course, I'm an atheist."

3. "Just hold on, Senora Clinton, you'll get your lap dance after I get mine."

4. "Don't feel so bad, Sr. Chavez. It happens to all men sometimes."

5. "Rough anal? I'll have to ask my mom, first."

6. Some Citgo profits are channeled into Public Service spots for NAMGLA.

7. "You just lost your baby teeth? Senorita, I just won la loteria."

8. "The safe word is, 'Imperialist Running Dogs.'"

9. Just then, Sigourney Weaver popped out with a assault rifle, yelling, "Get away from her, you bitch!"

10. St. Joseph's Baby-Roophies.

Best of Rodney Dill
Kid: "I smell sulfur."
Chavez: "It was the dog, I swear."

Best of jeff
"Mommy said I only had to sit here for two minutes and I'll get an Ez-Bake Oven... 39, 38, 37..."

Best of David
Alyssa Milano's career hit a rough patch in between "Who's The Boss?" and all of those lesbian vampire movies.

Best of The Man
Chavez: Little girl, why are you cold and stiff like Castro?
Girl: Well, maybe if you thought about my needs for a change...

I just want to thank you and the other midgets who helped taxi my airplane to the runway.

Andrew Sullivan suddenly felt a jealous rage. Damn that little girl, damn her to hell.

Best of Van Helsing
"I'll MAKE her love me!"

Best of Chrees
The U.N. announced its new "Oil for Tots" program, but Chavez thought the program was meant to be a literal swap.

Best of Dusty
Seems like they're one chair short at the Citgo board meeting.....again.

Best of Cybrludite
"Bad touch! BAD TOUCH!... I didn't say stop."

Best of Cybrludite
Look! It's Torgo & Debbie from "Manos: The Hands Of Fate"!

Best of Steve B
I have finally one-upped a conservative. Whereas he was only able to IMed them, I actually got some.

Best of lawhawk
If you act quickly, not only will I sell you gas at below market rates, but I'll throw in a child slave at no extra cost.

Best of Submariner
Sit here on Santa Hugo's lap and we'll talk about whatever comes up....


H/T: Byron Cherry
Source: FoxNews

19 comments:

Rodney Dill said...

Kid: "I smell sulfur."

jeff said...

Thinking to herself: "Mommy said I only had to sit here for two minutes and I'll get an Ez-Bake Oven... 39, 38, 37..."

David said...

Alyssa Milano's career hit a rough patch in between "Who's The Boss?" and all of those lesbian vampire movies.

The Man said...

Little girl, why are you cold and stiff like Castro.

The Man said...

I just want to thank you and the other midgets who helped taxi my airplane to the runway.

The Man said...

Andrew Sullivan suddenly felt a jealous rage. Damn that little girl, damn her to hell.

Van Helsing said...

"I'll MAKE her love me!"

Chrees said...

The U.N. announced its new "Oil for Tots" program, but Chavez thought the program was meant to be a literal swap.

Chrees said...

"So little girl...read much Chomsky?"

Passionate Conservative said...

Byron Cherry hat tip. That's pretty good.

Dusty said...

Seems like they're one chair short at the Citgo board meeting.....again.

Cybrludite said...

On the plus side, he's picked the right gender. However he's like Saddam in going for entirely the wrong age group...

Cybrludite said...

LIttle Girl: "Bad touch! BAD TOUCH!"

Chrees said...

The Venezuelan government ordered training classes led by the Sexual Harassment Panda after this picture leaked out.

Submariner said...

"Wait an oil-drillin' minute! You aren't Uncle Hugo's little Miguel..."

Cybrludite said...

Look! It's Torgo & Debbie from "Manos: The Hands Of Fate"!

Steve B said...

I have finally one-upped a conservative. Whereas he was only able to IMed them, I actually got some.

lawhawk said...

If it worked for Saddam, it can work for me too.

If you act quickly, not only will I sell you gas at below market rates, but I'll throw in a child slave at no extra cost.

Submariner said...

Sit here on Santa Hugo's lap and we'll talk about whatever comes up during conversation...