Careful, I just moppped there

1. "Harok-Ptui!"

2. "Sure, Condi, I'd love some of your gum."

3. "Condi, would you stop doing your Miss Cleo bit on that lady's palm and help me lift Representative Kennedy out of the gutter?"

4. Karaoke Night at the State Department, featuruing 'The Hedgehog Song'*

5. "I hope the Press Corps crops our beer steins out of this picture... even if the resulting product looks awkward."

6. "Umm, this particular optical illusion only works if you and your assistant have the same color sleeves and skin. Nice try, though."

7. "And your arm will stay pinned to the floor with that flagpole until you come up with a workable Mideast Peace Plan." Condi gets tough at the State Department.

8. "And there's a puddle of vomit... and there's one... and there's another. I think that one's urine. Damn, I hate cleaning up after a Kennedy visits the State Department."

9. "I'm sorry, Condi, but impaling her with a flag was the only way to stop your evil white doppelganger from a parallel dimension."

10. "A rival female in your territory? Here, Condi, rip of my arm and beat her with it."

H/T: Phronk@ Discarded Lies

* It's my ORA and I'm sticking with it.

Best of Silhouette
Twister night at the State Department: "Right hand, taupe. Left Foor Beige."

Best of the paperboy
What, Condi's incontinent? Diaper leaked? Can't hold her beer? Has no tits? Poised for a venom sample? I don't get it.

Best of Dusty
Why white folks should restrict themselves to conventional handshakes.

Best of David Simon
"That's right, Susan. Hold Senator Boxer's head up by the hair so Michelle can give her a great big bitch slap."

Best of racerboy
Okay, everybody now... you put your left foot in, you put your left foot out...

Best of Rodney Dill
After they slapped the color right out of Cynthia McKinney (right), it was Condi's turn.

Best of Jonathan
Watching Senator Clinton do the Macarena was enough to send the Israeli press corps scattering.

Best of Cricket
Condi, you know the rules. No gum or tobacco chewing allowed. Give it to me and I will rub it in her hair.

Best of Submariner
Out of frame to the left, Jesse Jackson is up to his usual antics - looking for a handout from the government he detests.

ORA: Hey Cheney - watch me pull a rabit out of her @ss! Nuthin' up my sleeve...

Sorry, Ms. Rice. I was the Veep's fluffer for the briefing and haven't managed to straighten up yet...

Best of Curly
“Ladies and Gentlemen, let’s give a warm welcoming applause to Secretary of State Condoleezza Rice’s left tit.”

The UN seemed to mock Condi's quest for an arms embargo.