Tuesday, September 26, 2006

Woods and Hoods

1. "So, are we klansmen doing a marijuana bust or some kind of druid thing? I don't know."

2. "Excuse me, we're trying to act out Macbeth Act IV, Scene 1 here! '"Great Burnham Wood to High Dunsinane Hill Shall Come..."

3. "My elaborate sexual fantasy is almost complete. Now, to find a donkey."

4. "One, Halloween isn't until next month, and two, this is the lamest Haunted Trail, like, ever!"

5. "Why thank you. I suppose I do have a 'real purtty mouth.'"

6. "I hope you've learned an important lesson from this about the importance of having the right length for the fuse on a pipe bomb. Now, help me look for my index finger.

7. "Great, you numbtards just used poison ivy for camouflage."

8. "Well, blankets and leaves are possible defenses against Zionist cluster-bombs, but ideally, you want to surround yourself with children."

Best of lawhawk
When I said get thee a shrubbery, I meant get me a shrubbery, not for you to dress like one. Is this a Zionist plot to get me or what?

Best of the paperboy
Okay, sticks and leaves work in the jungle. For urban warfare, you'll need to put kids, bricks, dead dogs and bombed out cars in your ghillie suits.

The new generation of Jihadis do not fly airplanes into office buildings. They infiltrate office buildings as potted plants and set themselves on fire.

Best of jeff
Stargate SG-1 sees cuts in the alien makeup budget.

Best of Silhouette
Dhimmitude meets environmentalism: Organic burkas.

KosKids charades: The answer is "The Bush family are secretly gun-toting terrorists."

The National Enquirer photogs would regret their plan to photograph Cheney on vacation.

Best of sonicfrog
Todays KKK. Pathetic! Another fine American institution gone to Hell!!! Is there any better proof that the school system is not teaching proper values any more.

Best of the paperboy
Sarge? Sarge? Hey Sarge! I got a woody!

Best of Submariner
Here we see new "body armor" manufactured by a DNC-sponsored, small, disadvantaged business, being delivered to deployed troops.

Best of What, me worry?
Abu Ghraib redux: Detainees are forced to put Rosie O'Donnell’s panties on their heads.

“Smoke ‘em if you got ‘em…I’ve got ZigZags if anybody’s lacking.”

“Sure, I’ve heard the saying about sticks and stones, but I never thought I’d be wearing them.”

Best of Steve B
ssshhhhh...be vewy, vewy quiet. We're hunting Zionists.


Also from: LFG

23 comments:

lawhawk said...

We are the knights who say NI!

When I said get thee a shrubbery, I meant get me a shrubbery, not for you to dress like one. Is this a Zionist plot to get me or what?

Isn't that sweet, everyone dressed up like a plant for Halloween.

MP Martin said...

Okay, sticks and leaves work in the jungle. For urban warfare, you'll need to put kids, bricks, dead dogs and bombed out cars in your ghillie suits.

jeff said...

At sniper school, punishments for shooting the wrong target include ritual humiliation.

Stargate SG-1 sees cuts in the alien makeup budget.

MP Martin said...

The new generation of Jihadis do not fly airplanes into office buildings. They infiltrate office buildings as potted plants and set themselves on fire.

Silhouette said...

Dhimmitude meets environmentalism: Organic burkas.

sonicfrog said...

Todays KKK. Pathetic! Another fine American institution gone to Hell!!! Is there any better proof that the school system is not teaching proper values any more.

Silhouette said...

KosKids charades:

The answer is "The Bush family are secretly gun-toting terrorists."

Silhouette said...

The National Enquirer photogs would regret their plan to photograph Cheney on vacation.

Silhouette said...

Deadly spinach.

Curly said...

Silhouette said...
Dhimmitude meets environmentalism: Organic burkas.

--Good one!

Next, we’ll put panties on our heads so that we can hide at Abu Ghraib.

Some will go to great lengths to hide from Babs’ saggy hooters.

“I knew my camouflage was perfect when Abdrool mistook me for a shrub and peed on me.”

Curly said...

“Unless you want to meet the 72 virgins, you had best attach those 72 begonias.”

Anonymous said...

Leprocy, the musical

Dusty said...

During their breaks, the Palesinian Security Officers often enjoy a sprirted game of wood tag.

MP Martin said...

Sarge? Sarge? Hey Sarge! I got a woody!

Submariner said...

Here we see new "body armor" manufactured by a DNC-sponsored, small, disadvantaged business, being delivered to deployed troops.

Submariner said...

Grey felt with green silk? Johnny Weir was appalled!

What, me worry? said...

Abu Ghraib redux: Detainees are forced to put Rosie O'Donnell’s panties on their heads.

“Dammit Sarge! I can tell by the way that the cats are humping me that there’s catnip in these weeds!”

“Smoke ‘em if you got ‘em…I’ve got ZigZags if anybody’s lacking.”

“Sure, I’ve heard the saying about sticks and stones, but I never thought I’d be wearing them.”

Submariner said...

ORA:

Jeremy: Does anyone know what this here is used for?
Recruit: Rollin' a fatty?
Jeremy: No... Not for... Where'd you learn that?

Submariner said...

A Cap This Haiku:

Scantily clad girls.
Pouty lips and sultry eyes.
Subby loves Thursdays.

Steve B said...

ssshhhhh...be vewy, vewy quiet. We're hunting wabbits.

divine miss m said...

Multicultural sensitivity training for soldiers includes teaching them the right way to wear a burqa.

(Burqa burqua, burqa!)

Submariner said...

Tonight on "Modern Marvels":
Hefty® bag
Watch as we trace the evolution of the durable sanitation device from cro-magnon days through the information age.

GOP & College said...

Who knew Burkhas made such great ghilli suits?