Thursday, September 07, 2006

Why TK 421 Wasn't At His Post

If you think this is typical of the female attendees at scifi conventions, prepare to be bitterly disappointed. Since I am pressed for time this morning, I'm just going to list ten lines of Star Spats dialogue that sound dirty when taken out of context:

1. "Get in there you big furry oaf, I don't care what you smell!"
2. "Luke, at that speed do you think you'll be able to pull out in time?"
3. "You came in that thing? You're braver than I thought."
4. "She may not look like much, but she's got it where it counts, kid."
5. "Size matters not. Judge me by my size, do you?"
6. "Possible he came in through the south entrance."
7. "Control, control! You must learn control!"
8 "What could possibly have come over Master Luke? Is it something I did? He never expressed any unhappiness with my work." (
9. "Hey, point that thing someplace else."
10. "I look forward to completing your training. In time you will call me master."

Best of Jonathan
"Having seen her naked, I'm off to the bathroom to 'fly autopilot with Hand Solo'!"

Best of Rodney Dill
The result of too much plastic surgery

Best of The Man
Gold Five to Red leader, I Lost Tiree, Lost Dutch. They came from... behind!

Best of curly
Despite all of the Penicillin treatments, Barbara still suffers from Revenge of the Syph.

Best of Jason
I'd like to storm her pooper.

Getting your hair done: $50
Stormtrooper outfit: $200
Nerds totally ignoring you for cheap Star Wars crap: priceless

Best of Submariner
C-3PO: "Sir, the possibility of successfully negotiating a sexual encounter is approximately 3,720 to 1."
SOTG: "Never tell me the odds."

Best of lawhawk
That's no moon. That's a Budong!

Best of Cybrludite
Thought Bubble: I gotta get me a new pimp!

Best of Adjustah
Santa! You got my letter! Thank you!

Best of prince of leaves
"Honey, those gigantic shoulder pads are sooo 1983..."

Best of sonicfrog
Geoge Lucas's attempts to keep people interested in the flagging "Star Wars" franchise has hit a new low.



In a weird coincidence, I also had to order a new ID card from my HMO this morning: Empire Blue Cross and Blue Shield.


From Here, (via Jonah and Instypundit)

31 comments:

The Man said...

The appeal of hot Star Wars girls was short lived as:
1) Star Wars Guys tend to not like real females.
2) Star Wars Guys also still live at home.
3) Star Wars Girls realized "the force" could not help with cramps
4) The girls realized that outfits from Starship Troopers were easier to make slutty.
5) Plastic Chaffs
6) You cannot wear your white storm trooper outfit after Labor Day.
7) None of the Star Wars Guys got the "I'll polish your light saber" line. They were like "you cannot polish a light saber, it's a laser beam, duhh".

Rodney Dill said...

Kinda short for a storm trooper

Jonathan said...

"Having seen her naked, I'm off to the bathroom to 'fly autopilot with Hand Solo'!"

Rodney Dill said...

The result of too much plastic surgery

Rodney Dill said...

Chewey

Jonathan said...

"Go ahead, Luke! Ask her if she wants to 'scratch Yoda behind the ears'!"

Jonathan said...

ORA: "I see your schwartz is as big as mine!"

Rodney Dill said...

He made a fair move. Screaming about it can't help you.
(from wookie and r2D2 playing chess)

Rodney Dill said...

R2didtoo!

The Man said...

Gold Five to Red leader, I Lost Tiree, Lost Dutch. They came from... behind!

curly said...

After seeing her picture, I’m inspired to go Hands Solo.

Despite all of the Penicillin treatments, Barbara still suffers from Revenge of the Syph.

Jason said...

I'd like to storm her pooper.

Jason said...

Getting your hair done: $50

Stormtrooper outfit: $200

Nerds totally ignoring you for cheap Star Wars crap: priceless

Submariner said...

Out in space, Subby? But then no one could hear me scream...

Jason said...

Scho its fifteen bucksch for the schuper schweet Yoda poschter? Awschome! Gimme five, SchteveDave!

Submariner said...

I'll take one "Plan 9 from Outer Space" please. Waddaya mean "That doesn't refer to inches?"

Submariner said...

C-3PO: "Sir, the possibility of successfully navigating a sexual encounter is approximately 3,720 to 1."
SOTG: "Never tell me the odds."

Submariner said...

I didn't ask you to turn on the thermal heater. I merely commented that it was freezing in the princess's chamber...

Submariner said...

Her outfit gives new meaning to the term "breastplate."

lawhawk said...

My, what an interesting smell you've discovered

Feel the force.

That's no moon. That's a Budong!

MP Martin said...

She'll do R2D2 too.

... and R2D2 has a french tickler attachment.

MP Martin said...

Take off the Sport Utility Belt!

MP Martin said...

"Is that a light saber in your pocket, or are you just happy to see me?"

Which reminds me of why I won't put a switchblade in my pocket.

Dusty said...

I won't need beaming up this time, Scotty!

prince of leaves said...

Send in the clones.

Cybrludite said...

Thought Bubble: I gotta get me a new pimp!

Adjustah said...

Santa! You got my letter! Thank you!

prince of leaves said...

"Honey, those gigantic shoulder pads are sooo 1983..."

Submariner said...

OK dad, I'm ready. But why do you think Sen Clinton's interns dress like this?

sonicfrog said...

Geoge Lucas's attempts to keep people interested in the flagging "Star Wars" franchise has hit a new low.

sonicfrog said...

Hey look! It's Princess Lay-Ya!!!