1. "If you know a better means of exchanging long protein strands, I'd like to see it."
2. 'Inter-Racial Fart Swapping,' next on Maury
3. "We can't keep this up forever. Eventually, Steinbrenner is going to notice his two-headed dildo is missing."
4. ORA: The seventh inning grope is one of blernsball's most cherished traditions.
5. "Nike Butt Rubbers ... for the athletic gay man whose into safe sex."
6. "OK, Lemmiwinks, jump! You'll soon be over the border to Canada... and freedom!"