Tuesday, September 05, 2006

Crazy Old Lady

1. "... once at the sex club, I had a c*ck in each hand while I deep-throated another one..."

2. "We must rise up against the oppression of the Patriarchy and then ... Hey, would someone tell that little Dutch brat to stop poking me?"

3. "No, you idiotic peasants, it's 'Duce! Duce!' not 'Douche! Douche!"

4. "Another underused adjective in speaking of Madeleine Albright would be ... pendulous."

5. Catching pigeon droppings in your bare hands takes skill and concentration.

6. "Come on, one of you men must want a free prostate exam."


Best of Van Helsing
"Xono, Zuwezet, Quyhet kesos ysgeboth Nyarlathotep! Menhatoy, Zywethorosto zuy, Zururogos Yog-Sothoth!"

Best of The Man
B-14. Come on someone has bingo dammit!

Best of prince of leaves
Though never shown on TV, Alice's spirit levitations were always big after-dinner fun in the Brady house.

Best of Submariner
Let's go sopranos - more VOLUME.

So there I am with the Ryan's at the Swap Club; I'm holding Jeri like this and trying to help Jack talk her into "the lifestyle..."

Best of curly
"This meeting of the American Women's Basketball Coaches Association is now called to order".

"Kobe! I'm open!"

My testicles -- My business

Best of Rodney Dill
"The secret to tasty Lamb Fries, is to snip 'em off high."

Best of the paperboy
Uh, VtheK? This is my birthday. Is this some sick joke of a chick that jumps out of a cake?

Best of sonicfrog
She's A Man Baby!!!..... Oh, wait, nevermind...

Best of Adjustah
Braaaaaaaaaaaaiiiins!!


From Van H

30 comments:

jeff said...

"And on the third day, the lord Warkus will strike down George Bush with a mighty clap!"

Silhouette said...

"G. Gordon Liddy is a wimp! I can hold my hand over this candle until Bush is taken away in chains."

Van Helsing said...

"Xono, Zuwezet, Quyhet kesos ysgeboth Nyarlathotep! Menhatoy, Zywethorosto zuy, Zururogos Yog-Sothoth!"

The Man said...

B-14. Come on someone has bingo dammit!

Jonathan said...

"I'll get you, my pretty! And your little dog, too! EEEE-HEHEHEHEHEHEHEHEHE!"

MP Martin said...

...and then I said "May I hold them?" and he grinned and nodded yes, so I took my hands and went "clap clap clap clap!" and he never exposed himself again!

Anonymous said...

An alternative to the paperboy's:

"So just before my root canal started, I grabbed my dentist by the balls and said 'Let's come to an understanding--we're not going to hurt each other, are we?'"

prince of leaves said...

"...So, just joking-like, I looks at Cindy and shouts, 'The power of God compels you!!!'. Jeebus, you should have seen the look of terror on her face..."

prince said...

Though never shown on TV, Alice's spirit levitations were always big after-dinner fun in the Brady house.

Submariner said...

C'mon Rev. Al - you laid that sausage on Cindy, put it here in MY hands too!

Submariner said...

Let's go sopranos - more VOLUME.

Submariner said...

Gaia we beseech thee, Hillary in 08!

Submariner said...

Standard Cap #17:

Where will you be when your laxative kicks in?

prince of leaves said...

"...Sure, it's a house of the Lord, I says to him, but there's no place like a cathedral for playing an organ this big!"

(Man, if she were a reputable nun, I'd actually feel guilty for that...)

Submariner said...

Boy, Streisand has really let herself go!

Submariner said...

...so then I lifted up the Rachel Corrie Frisbee like this...

Submariner said...

V. - LOVED #3

Submariner said...

ORA:

Ladies and gentlemen, you have been judged guilty of sinning against our almighty God, and I promise you, you shall pay for your trespasses, in blood!

David Simon said...

"I'm way nuttier than that Helen Prejean bimbo. Why doesn't Tim Robbins make a movie about me?"

David Simon said...

"Can you believe it? I could have sworn that menopause was causing my raving bitch rants. Well, Mother Nature just ruined my best powder blue polyester pantsuit."

David Simon said...

"Welcome to Thursday, Caption This regulars. Here's mud in your eyes, you sophomoric ninnies."

curly said...

"This meeting of the American Women's Basketball Coaches Association is now called to order".

"Cindy's ass was so big that my hands were this far apart when I had a cheek in each hand."

"Kobe! I'm open!"

"So in one hand, we have Bushitler manipulating being manipulated by big oil; on the other, we have giant bugs attacking Detroit. Coincidence? I don't think so!"

curly said...

My testicles -- My business

Rodney Dill said...

"The secret to tasty Lamb Fries, is to snip 'em off high."

Submariner said...

So there I am with the Ryan's at the Swap Club; I'm holding Jeri like this and trying to help Jack talk her into "the lifestyle..."

MP Martin said...

Uh, VtheK? This is my birthday. Is this some sick joke of a chick that jumps out of a cake?

Dusty said...

-- then you say to the elephant; "Do you want me to bang these together again?"

sonicfrog said...

It's A Man Baby!!!..... Oh, wait, nevermind...

sonicfrog said...

What, did "Grandpa" Al Lewis rise from the grave and I missed it???

Adjustah said...

Braaaaaaaaaaaaiiiins!!