Monday, September 04, 2006

The Bug That Ate Detroit

1. RRORA: Xev and Kai determined that Detroit was not worth saving, and returned to the orbiting Lexx deciding to let him feed to his heart's content on the city's inhabitants.

2. Kwame Kilpatrick continues to deny rumors that he was paid massive kickbacks by the Insectivore people of Gloxborg 4 to let them feast on the city's inhabitants.

3. Baron Harkonnen's ornithopter then left Paul Atreides in the middle of the most harsh, desolate wasteland he could find.

4. Kwame Kiltraick continues to deny that he was paid kickbacks to store Canadian nuclear waste in a Detroit-area mosquito breeding ground.

5. In yet another short-sighted management decision, GM returns to profitability by renting out its employees' bodies as hosts for the larval form of the alien insect overlords.

Best of Submariner
ORA: Good fortune smiled on the Earth as Klendathu scouts randomly chose Detroit as a "representative city." One look and they knew it taking this planet wasn't worth the loss of a single bug's life and moved on.

"Jesse. Get on a plane to Tokyo and bring back Godzilla - Mothra's eating the Renaissance Center as we speak!

Best of Zeke
Lured by the promise of great plushy gangsters fashions, giant moths swept down from the frigid north to feast before the coming winter.

Best of The Man
All Your Slums are Belong to Us!

Democrats announced the 2008 DNC will be held in Detroit, making the mutant mosquitos the second largest blood suckers around town.

Best of sonicfrog
Eww gross! That one farted!

Best of What, me worry?
Why do you think it's called DEETroit?

Just when GM's prospects couldn't look any worse, they discover that what they thought were airbags on the assembly line were in fact the hatching eggs of gigantic dragons!

Best of Son Of The Godfather
It appears to be a giant insect attacking Lebanon... Let me guess: Reuters photo via Adnan Hadjj?

Best of the paperboy
From Hell' heart, the briney deep, and the airey height, I stab at thee! A four-hundred foot barb to the heart of the city!


I, for one, welcome our now insect overlords. I would like to remind them, that as a reporter, I can be helpful in rounding up other humans to toil in their underground sugar caverns.

H/T Divine Miss M.

24 comments:

David Simon said...

Even the bugs in Detroit are fleeing to the suburbs.

Submariner said...

ORA:

Good fortune smiled on the Earth as Klendathu scouts randomly chose Detroit as a "representative city." One look and they knew it taking this planet wasn't worth the loss of a single bug's life and moved on.

Submariner said...

Kwame was beside himself; "I don't care WHAT or WHO you're doing, Jesse. Get on a plane to Tokyo and bring back Godzilla - Mothra's eating the Renaissance as we speak!

Zeke said...

lured by the promise of great plushy gangsters fashions, giant moths swept down from the frigid north to feast before the coming winter.

Oh props to the LEXX reference. and am I right in assuming RRORA means "Roving Reporter Obliterates Rare Artifact"

Zeke said...

"All the people look like ants from this far up mommy"
Hillary, "that's because they are dear."

Submariner said...

ORA:

We must meet this threat with our courage, our valor, indeed with our very lives to ensure that human civilization, not insect, dominates this galaxy now and always!

Zeke said...

Micheal Moore at last flings off his larva form and joins his brothers and sisters in owning the heavens as well.

The Man said...

All Your Slums are Belong to Us!

The Man said...

Democrats announced the 2008 DNC will be held in Detroit, making the mutant mosquitos the second largest blood suckers around town.

Silhouette said...

Christo and Jeanne-Claude bring their giant art to Detroit.

sonicfrog said...

Eww gross! That one farted!

What, me worry? said...

Why do you think it's called DEETroit?

Moonbats work Detroit to get out the word for Congressman John Conyers' re-election.

What, me worry? said...

Due to recent events, the Discovery Channel decides to tone it down a little and showcase less dangerous critters...like insects.

What, me worry? said...

The City of Dearborn's mascot gets some exercize.

Just when GM's prospects couldn't look any worse, they discover that what they thought were airbags on the assembly line were in fact the hatching eggs of gigantic dragons!

"Waiter, there's a fly in my coupe!"

Son Of The Godfather said...

An unpopular side-effect of being able to fly at great speeds, Superman was getting really tired of picking crap out of his hair and teeth.

What, me worry? said...
Why do you think it's called DEETroit?


Nice one!

V, not so RRORA... I still have hope that Eva Habermann will come to her senses and lift that restraining order against me. :)

Son Of The Godfather said...

It appears to be a giant insect attacking Lebanon... Let me guess: Reuters photo via Adnan Hadjj?

Anonymous said...

"The last thing that goes through a bug's mind when it hits the windshield? His anus, of course.

Why do you ask?"

MP Martin said...

From Hell' heart, the briney deep, and the airey height, I stab at thee! A four-hundred foot barb to the heart of the city!
(am I going to hell now?)

MP Martin said...

I, for one, welcome our now insect overlords. I would like to remind them, that as a reporter, I can be helpful in rounding up other humans to toil in their underground sugar caverns.

MP Martin said...

Each day, the aggressive breed of mutant mayflies swarms across another city, consuming human flesh, cars, boats, buildings.

MP Martin said...

It's a conspiracy! The stingrays and mosquitoes have gotten fed up with encroachment, deforestation and global warming, and have decided to strike back! Send in the French to surrender, before it's too late!

Dusty said...

David Gregory to giant mosquito: Don't you point that thing at me!

Cybrludite said...

Looks like The Beginning Of The End!

curly said...

Inspired by Carlos Castaneda's book "The Teachings of Don Juan: A Yaqui Way of Knowledge", Jamaal’s ingestion of peyote only yielded visions of mosquitoes over Detroit.