Saturday, September 16, 2006

Be Cool, There Were Only Minor Injuries




1. Rosie O'Donnell's monthly PMS rampage claims more young victims.

2. No one was injured in the accident, but several were trampled in the ensuing media stampede.

3. Madison (WI) authorities declined to investigate the accident, saying it was obviously a Black Op by the BushCo Zionist Cabal.

4. "And whose bright idea was it to let Otto-man come back to work the day after a Dave Matthews concert?"

5. "Gesundheit!"

Best of sonicfrog
Wow! And I thought cow tipping was cool!!!

Best of prince of leaves
Burned by the Lieberman betrayal, Democratic moderates attempt to even the score by throwing Ted Kennedy under the bus...with predictable results.

Hoping to shed the intolerable humiliation of being labeled a chronic underachiever by his teachers, Khaled hijacks his school bus and drives it into a portable office trailer.

"Just one more thing, ladies, I'm gonna need to get your bust measurements...er, I mean, telephone numbers..."

Best of David Simon
Who would have thought that a mangled school bus would lead to so much man-on-man, girl-on-girl action?

Best of Submariner
And that's when Jerome Bettis started singing ♪The Wheels On the Bus Go 'Round and 'Round♪ over and over and over and over...

DRUDGEBREAKING... Film in from Massachussetts at the scene of that accident. Details are sketchy at this point, but apparently, Senator Ted Kennedy (D - MA) had volunteered to give the group of interns a ride back from Chappaquidick... Developing...

Best of Van Helsing
"I told you we shouldn't have let Rosie O'Donnell and Michael Moore sit on the same side of the bus."

Best of Cybrludite
Eyewitnesses report that the driver of the vehicles which struck the bus was a kitten wearing a horned Viking war-helmet.

Best of jeff
Eh, it wasn't that great a ride - C-Ticket at best.

Best of Curly
“Yes ma’am, we’ll need you to tell us what happened and why that man is putting the moves on Patrolman Jones.”

“So this wacko said that he was Keanu Reeves, making SPEED 3 and would you like to be an extra?”
File Under: Wholesome Americana

23 comments:

Submariner said...

In Palestine, the swarm after a bus is taken out is composed of Hamas members.
In the US, it's seeBS, NBC, ABC and the occasional CNN, MSNBC or FOX stringers...

Submariner said...

We TOLD you to balance out having Rosie sit to starboard, but noooooooooo; you HAD to do things YOUR WAY, didn't you?

prince of leaves said...

Burned by the Lieberman betrayal, Democratic moderates attempt to even the score by throwing Ted Kennedy under the bus...with predictable results.

prince of leaves said...

Hoping to shed the intolerable humiliation of being labeled a chronic underachiever by his teachers, Khaled hijacks his school bus and drives it into a portable office trailer.

prince of leaves said...

Fireman: "Just one more thing, ladies, I'm gonna need to get your bust measurements...er, I mean, telephone numbers..."

David Simon said...

Who would have thought that a mangled school bus would lead to so much man-on-man, girl-on-girl action?

David Simon said...

"David Cronenberg, have you no shame?!"

Oh, I forgot to sign my name - Molly.

Cybrludite said...

OBR,

I wish I could quit... school!

Submariner said...

"...and that's the story behind the song 'School's Out For Summer'."
Tonight on E! True Stories - Alice Cooper

Submariner said...

And that's when Jerome Bettis started singing ♪The Wheels On the Bus Go 'Round and 'Round♪ over and over and over and over...

Submariner said...

DRUDGEBREAKING...
Film in from Massachussetts at the scene of that accident. Details are sketchy at this point, but apparently, Senator Ted Kennedy (D - MA) had volunteered to give the group of interns a ride back from Chappaquidick...
Developing...

Silhouette said...

Slide #4 from Sen. Clinton's powerpoint presentation: Leaning To Far Right Endangers America's School Children.

Silhouette said...

Injured at the scene were a Mz. Frizzle, several students, and a lizard.

sonicfrog said...

Wow! And I thought cow tipping was cool!!!

Van Helsing said...

"I told you we shouldn't have let Rosie O'Donnell and Michael Moore sit on the same side of the bus."

Submariner said...

Chairman Dean took one look and concluded that it was Pat Robertson's campaign bus based on its orientation.

Cybrludite said...

Eyewitnesses report that the driver of the vehicles which struck the bus was a kitten wearing a horned Viking war-helmet.

Submariner said...

"My goodness!"
"Crap! - would you LOOK at that?"

Yes indeed, Inflated-Scrotum Guy always drew curious onlookers...

Jason said...

ORA:

Officer Farva gets his revenge

The Man said...

...and with one accident the Andrew Sullivan fan club ceased to exist.

jeff said...

Eh, it wasn't that great a ride - C-Ticket at best.

Anonymous said...

Later that day, Biff would be bragging to his friends that his bitchin' job provided endless opportunities to pick up chicks.

Curly said...

“Yes ma’am, we’ll need you to tell us what happened and why that man is putting the moves on Patrolman Jones.”

“So this wacko said that he was Keanu Reeves, making SPEED 3 and would you like to be an extra?”