Monday, September 25, 2006

Arrgh! My Eyes!!! Part XVI

1. Now we know why male Streisand fans are almost exclusively gay.

2. "(Ahem) Both Clinton's thought they were FABULOUS!"

3. Yarrgh, well, a pirate can't be too choosy when it's late at night and he's at the end of his swag.

4. "Hello, I'd like a refund for my 'Boobs of Steel' workout video.

5. The dangers of choosing a discount escort service.

6. Babs exits the Ladies Room, unaware that she's just cured two Carolina cheerleaders of the gay.

7. The CDC later determined it wasn't bad spinach, but her after-dinner rendition of "I Touch Myself" that led to 13 deaths.

8. How I Learned to Stop Worrying and Love the Burqa!

Best of Adjustah
"Flapjacks! Get your flapjacks here!"

Best of lawhawk
This is worse than being left in a pain amplifier for the rest of my life.

Best of sonicfrog
Revealed At Last! The inspiration for the South Park character Ms. Chokesondick!

Best of Dusty
Score: Babs 0
Gravity 2

Headlights on low beam.

Is Babs changing her political views? I thought I saw a cursive 'W' on the front of her dress!

Best of Submariner
Floppy: worn out, fatigued, weary, exhausted, hanging, limp, dangling, sagging, lifeless, flaccid, slack, baggy…

Subby, the point is to provide captions, not dwarf names --- VtK

Best of Son Of The Godfather
Mammaries...
From the corners of my hips...
Misty water-colored mammaries...

I'd hit that!... With a 2 by 4. Repeatedly.

I'm not real big on the conspiracy-theory thing, but Peter Jennings went there... and he's dead now.

Best of the paperboy
Do your boobs hang low?
Do they wobble to and fro?
Can you tie 'em in a knot?
Can you tie 'em in a bow?
Can you throw 'em over your shoulder
Like a continental soldier?
Do your boobs hang low?

Meg Ryan's banana boobs also flopped out of a google search.

Best of Adjustah
Babs hoped that her Susan Sarandon novelty backpack would distract people from the fact that she had totally forgotten her bra...

Michael Moore shows off his new look post-liposuction.

Best of David
Breasts, not bombs! No, seriously, they're breasts!

Best of prince of leaves
Moments later, Faye Dunaway tapped Babs on the shoulder and got double-blackjacked when the diva whirled around in surprise.

Best of attmay
Are those two Jiffy Pop containers under that dress or are you happy to see me?

Best of Brendt
Hat tips, my @$$! Whoever pointed this out to you needs a middle finger extended at them.

Best of Rodney Dill
Rosie O'Donnell: "Schwiiing"

AP BREAKING: Reports were received today that Barbra Streisand was found dead of blunt force trauma to the head after a tragic jump rope accident.

Best of Matamoros
Bra size: 38 long.

I could spend the rest of the day doing hat tips on this.

52 comments:

Adjustah said...

"Flapjacks! Get your flapjacks here!"

Anonymous said...

The dialogue leading to this point from the one that never aired:

SEINFELD: Mom, no one wants to see those things.

MORTY: I'll have you know I paid good money for those things!

KRAMER: Ther's nothing wrong with them. In fact, I applaud you. Now, if you could fix your nose, you would be stunner!

MORTY: What's wrong with her nose?

JERRY'S MOM: Thank you, Kramer. See Jerry, not everyone agrees with you. George, what do you think?

lawhawk said...

This is worse than being left in a pain amplifier for the rest of my life.

Even Ramsey Clark has determined that showing this photo would violate the Geneva Conventions for cruel and unusual punishment and torture, and in a rare confluence, I concur.

So that's what those signs were calling for.

baslimthecripple said...

And the winner of the Cindy Sheeham look alike contest is ....

jeff said...

VtheK announces it's Monday, not Thursday.

The Man said...

Now here is something for the muslims to go bat-shit about.

The Man said...

Who says the anti-war movement is losing support?

The Man said...

Andew Sullivan and I agree. Her eye-glasses are horrible.

Dusty said...

Babs was embarrassed when the lady in the red glasses told her that her new land-mine-detector-vest looked like old saggy boobies.

sonicfrog said...

Revealed At Last! The inspiration for the South Park character Ms. Chokesondick!

Dusty said...

Headlights on low beam.

Dusty said...

Is Babs changing her political views? I thought I saw a cursive 'W' on the front of her dress!

Submariner said...

Dusty said...
Headlights on low beam.



Actually, I think those would barely qualify as improperly adjust bumper mounts.

Submariner said...

Floppy:
worn out, fatigued, weary, exhausted, hanging, limp, dangling, sagging, lifeless, flaccid, slack, baggy…

Submariner said...

Oh yeah, and
Hot Babe Thrusday (Antonym)

The Man said...

The only male that finds this photo attractive happens to be the numa numa kid.

Son Of The Godfather said...

Re: V's # 1... almost?!?

Son Of The Godfather said...

Udderly disgusting. :)

Son Of The Godfather said...

Funny Face... Now with Saggy Sacks.

Son Of The Godfather said...

No one got this yet?...

Mammaries...
From the corners of my hips...
Misty water-colored mammaries...

Son Of The Godfather said...

I'd hit that!...

With a 2 by 4.

Repeatedly.

MP Martin said...

If she lifts her dress, we'll think Bab's boobs are nuts.

Son Of The Godfather said...

I guess my "Funny Face" reference a few captions back should actually be "Funny Girl"... One can see how one might make that mistake, yes?

Son Of The Godfather said...

I'm not real big on the conspiracy-theory thing, but Peter Jennings went there... and he's dead now.

MP Martin said...

Do your boobs hang low?
Do they wobble to and fro?
Can you tie 'em in a knot?
Can you tie 'em in a bow?
Can you throw 'em over your shoulder
Like a continental soldier?
Do your boobs hang low?

Dusty said...

Score: Babs 0
Gravity 2

Submariner said...

DRUDGEBREAKING...
Details are sketchy at this point, but rumor has it that a recording has been found where, after repeated queries, Barbra Streisand was informed that a gunshot through the left breast would strike the heart. What we do know for certain is that Babs was rushed to Cedars Sinai this morning with a gunshot wound to the left knee.
Developing...

lawhawk said...

Ah, now here's an palate cleanser

divine miss m said...

"Babs, Sweetie, Darling, I want you should call my son, the doctor. He's the top plastic surgeon in Hollywood: Dr. Feintush."

MP Martin said...

Meg Ryan's banana boobs also flopped out of a google search.

Adjustah said...

Babs hoped that her Susan Sarandon novelty backpack would distract people from the fact that she had totally forgotten her bra...

Adjustah said...

Michael Moore shows off his new look post-liposuction.

David said...

No-one steals from the Kinitawowi!

David said...

Breasts, not bombs! No, seriously, they're breasts!

prince of leaves said...

"I want the best table in the house -- I don't *care* if you have to clear someone out of it -- and if I don't get it I'm gonna stand here like this all night, scaring away your clientele! Oh, and you'd *better* comp me, too!"

prince of leaves said...

Moments later, Faye Dunaway tapped Babs on the shoulder and got double-blackjacked when the diva whirled around in surprise.

prince of leaves said...

After reading this post, thousands of angry gay men poured into the streets, burning VtheK in effigy and declaring a fatwa of death against all CapThis! commenters who dared insult their diva.

attmay said...

On a Clear Day You Can See My Boobies

attmay said...

Those look like two Jiffy Pop containers under that dress.

Brendt said...

Hat tips, my @$$! Whoever pointed this out to you needs a middle finger extended at them.

Curly said...

They both lean to the left.

If Mary Jo Kopechne had a couple of floats like these, she'ld be alive today.

Son Of The Godfather said...

*WARNING!* - EXTREME HURL ALERT! - *WARNING!*
(Is it me, or does Babs look a little bit like Kyle's mom in the middle pic?)

Rodney Dill said...

Score: Babs 0
Gravity 2



LOL

Rodney Dill said...

Rosie O'Donnell: "Schwiiing"

Rodney Dill said...

AP BREAKING: Reports were received today that Barbra Streisand was found beaten to death. Apparently the wounds were self inflicted as she had gone jogging and...

Cricket said...

Boobs Streisand was so upset at the misspelling of her nickname.

David Simon said...

Hello Dolly Parton.

Anonymous said...

You can lead a horse to a mirror, but you can't make her use it.

What, me worry? said...

Do your boobs hang low?
Do they wobble to and fro?
Can you tie 'em in a knot?
Can you tie 'em in a bow?
Can you throw them over your shoulder
like a sentimental crooner?
Do your boobs hang low?

“Is that a soggy noodle in your pocket, or are you just unhappy to see me?”

“There is no bra in ‘smart’, but there is a bra in ‘BRAinless’.”

M. said...

Bra size: 38 long.

/old Phyllis Diller joke

attmay said...

What's Up, Doc? Those two sure ain't!

Curly said...

Just a wobbly gob of ugly fat wrapped in skin...But enough of Barbara's head; let's talk about her boobs.