And the crowd cheers as he is helped off the field

1. "He claims it wasn't him, it was his Goa'uld symbiote." (Gonna miss ya, SG-1).

2. You should have seen the look on his face when they got to the dugout and started the striptease.

3. "I'm the furthest thing from gay, but I'd still rather arrest this guy than She-hag."

4. "You got yourself in a heap of trouble, son. You shoulda known it was too soon to make a joke about Steve Irwin's death."

5. The Blue Jays were disqualified from the Little League World Series when their centerfielder was found to have lied about his age.

6. "Showing your navel is a violation of the MLB dress code. What did you think this was, a public middle school?"

7. "It's Giuliani time." "You mean.." "That's right, we're going to make him live with a gay couple while his wife reads 'The Vagina Monologues.'"

8. "Well, if throwing like a girl isn't a class II felony, it ought to be."

9. "Well, you may be a manager now, but when we get to jail, you'll have to decide if you're a 'pitcher' or a 'catcher.'"

10. "So I decked Roseanne Barr in the middle of the national anthem. What jury will convict me?"

Best of David Simon
Handcuffed by two hunky cops who then drank Pabst out of his navel. Yet another fantasy is crossed off Andrew Sullivan's list.

"This is baseball, twinkletoes. If you want to show off your navel piercing, take up figure skating."

Best of Submariner
Damn "Village People" will use anybody's uniform...

Barney Frank said; "If I can't have him, nobody can." and swore out a federal warrant...

Mr. SOTG; please come with us. We have a few questions concerning the whereabouts of your daughter's prom date...

Best of David Simon

Best of What, me worry?
Caught behind the bleachers giving head to Jay, he was forced to wear a "Blew Jay" shirt and escorted off the field.

"Let's toss him in the vat of ketchup with Dahmer."



From: Thportth Illuthtrated