1. Helen Thomas seeks relief from Washington's heat wave.
2. Cynthia McKinney consoles herself after her primary loss.
3. Somewhere, Andrew Sullivan is wondering what happened to his favorite butt-plug.
4. The Evil Monkey from Chris Griffin's closet enjoys a delicious popsicle provided by the old perverted guy.
5. Koko remembers happier days when George Michael wrote a song about their secret, forbidden love.
Best of prince of leaves
Koko didn't know what to make of the thing that shot out from under Cindy's pink plaid skirt and pegged him in the forehead.
Best of Cybrludite
"Beware the beast man, for he is the Devil's pawn. Alone among God's primates, he kills for sport or lust or greed. Yea, he will murder his brother to possess his brother's land. Let him not breed in great numbers, for he will make a desert of his home and yours. Shun him; drive him back into his jungle lair, for he is the harbinger of death. He does make some damn tasty popcicles, though..."
Best of Son Of The Godfather
Hey, just what are Michael Nesmith and Davey Jones up to nowadays?
In the more-realistic "Planet Of The Apes" movie, Taylor meets an early demise, and Cornelius goes to bed with a full tummy.
Best of The Man
Uday Hussein's hell enters day 456 as Bobo the monkey prepares to violate his rectum with a hotsauce laced anal plug filled with angry bees.
Best of the paperboy
After a dozen applications, Koko wasn't sure if the gorillia hemorrhoid cure wasn't doing more harm than good.
Best of Submariner
Horse; The other, other, other red meat! And you can only get THIS particular cut in Thailand...
Best of Rodney Dill
Paris Hilton should be more careful on how she disposes of her jumbo tampons.
Hat Tip: Racerboy