Sunday, August 27, 2006

Spinal Compression Risks Illustrated

1. "Game of chicken? No... turkey, perhaps... or ostrich?"

2. The Man Who Thought His Wife Was a Hat visits Warp Tour.

3. "Well, Doc, it all started as a wart on my ass..."

4. "Well, we're going to roll her in flower ... and you can finish the rest of the joke yourselves."

5. Forced by British Labor Laws to hire a wider range of body types, Goldfinger still managed to find female assassins who could still snap a man's neck with their thighs.

6. "Ssssh, we've got those Chinese businessmen convinced she's a giant panda. They'll pay $50,000 for her gall bladder if you don't queer the deal."

7. Roseanne Barr has trouble finding a fourth for the orgy.

8. Best of GOP & College
Oh, I'm sorry ma'am, you need to purchase two seats to go any higher than that...

Best of Submariner
I count 5 boobs getting their picture taken...

It puts the LOTION on my EARS!

Andrew Sullivan was dissappointed in the results of his websearch for "Shirtless Studs Sporting a Huge Package"

Best of The Man
WHOA Tammy... What did you eat for lunch?

Best of Six degrees of blondness
Like it? It's my new mode of transportation: a "Johnway", with a "Sidecar Bob". Steering is controlled by how hard I squeeze either side of his head.

Best of curly
Darleen’s bowel movements are always amazing! In this picture, her pile looks like two men!

“If you can lift me you can lay me!”

When Joe saw the eHarmony description stating “full figured gal looking for uplifting experiences”, he had something else in mind.

Best of What, me worry?
At the Gay/Lesbian Amateur Film Festival’s remake of MAD MAX BEYOND THE THUNDERDOME, Peggy Sue was the smallest woman that they could find to play “Master” and Jerome was the biggest man they could find to play “Blaster”.

Behind every successful man there's a good woman. On the shoulders of every drunken horny loser there’s a fugly biker mama with wild hair.

Best of Son Of The Godfather
"I said you'd look cool in a PHat hat, you idiot!"

Forgive me, Dr. Seuss:
Fat...
Hat...
In French 'gros chapeau'...
In Mexico, 'La Gorda' as a sombrero."

We call this photo: "Chiropractor's Dream"
Best of Rodney Dill
When Smelly Pirate Hookers meet Krispy Kreme.

Best of David Simon
"Is that a wallet in your pocket or are you just happy to see me, Johnny." "Neither, it's my hernia from lifting your bovine sea cow of a sister. Now hurry up and take the damn picture!"

Best of Cybrludite
#4 continued: ...but we couoldn't find a deep fryer big enough!

Best of divine miss m
Woodstocky.

Best of jbinnout
"Ok, now Laars, you grab her left leg and spin her 180 degrees"

Best of the paperboy
I've had a monkey on my back, but never a Gigantopithecus.

"Take the trash out! Put the toilet seat down! Put on some clothes! Get a job!" This bitch's been ridin' my ass all day!

Best of Tomslick
It's tough to say cheese when I just counted my 5th lumbar vertebrae slide out of my asshole.

Best of Dusty
When I signed on the help promote Rosie O'Donnell's joining "The View", I thought the pay was too good!

Best of Adjustah
It's so sweet to see Kevin and Britney renewing their vows...



Hat Tip: Timmeh!

38 comments:

GOP & College said...

Oh, I'm sorry ma'am, you need to purchase two seats to go any higher than that...

Submariner said...

Bjork took one look and said "On further thought, I'll go hatless..."

Submariner said...

Pittsburgh was having a "Two-fer" sale, but Ah-nold here couldn't carry his...

Submariner said...

I count 5 boobs getting their picture taken...

Submariner said...

No, no, just recording this for posterity. I actually prefer bombs.

Submariner said...

Though the Berkeley Community Theatre had an austere special effects budget, they still managed to produce the "Rachel Correy Story."

Submariner said...

It puts the LOTION on my EARS!

Submariner said...

Andrew Sullivan was dissappointed in the results of his websearch for "Shirtless Studs Sporting a Huge Package"

The Man said...

WHOA Tammy... What did you eat for lunch?

Six Degrees of Blondness said...

*shrug*
I know, but it was either this, or risk the pecs, delts, and triceps... and bench pressing her was out of the question.
Now help get her off of me before I'm paralyzed.

Six degrees of blondness said...

Like it? It's my new mode of transportation: a "Johnway", with a "Sidecar Bob". Steering is controlled by how hard I squeeze either side of his head.

curly said...

Darleen’s bowel movements are always amazing! In this picture, her pile looks like two men!

“If you can lift me you can lay me!”

When Joe saw the eHarmony description stating “full figured gal looking for uplifting experiences”, he had something else in mind.

JAINPHX said...

Jockeys get weight adjustments but this is rediculas.

What, me worry? said...

At the Gay/Lesbian Amateur Film Festival’s remake of MAD MAX BEYOND THE THUNDERDOME, Peggy Sue was the smallest woman that they could find to play “Master” and Jerome was the biggest man they could find to play “Blaster”.

What, me worry? said...

Behind every successful man there's a good woman. On the shoulders of every drunken horny loser there’s a fugly biker mama with wild hair.

Son Of The Godfather said...

ORA:
Reminds me of how Mr.Slave finally won the contest against Paris Hilton.

Son Of The Godfather said...

"I said you'd look cool in a PHat hat, you idiot!"

Son Of The Godfather said...

Forgive me, Dr. Seuss:
Fat...
Hat...
In French 'gros chapeau'...
In Mexico, "El Gordo as a sombrero."

Son Of The Godfather said...

Not from nuttin'... But aren't jogging pants supposed to be for, you know... jogging?

Son Of The Godfather said...

We call this photo: "Chiropractor's Dream"

Son Of The Godfather said...

Bertha: "Be sure to take a good picture... You know the camera adds 10 pounds!"

Bob: "Jaysus, Bertha, how many cameras are on you?!?"

WALSTIB said...

[and the obligatory...]
Where will you be when your laxitive starts working?

Son Of The Godfather said...

V the K wisely posts this as far from "Hot-Chick Thursday" as possible.

Rodney Dill said...

When Smelly Pirate Hookers meet Krispy Kreme.

David Simon said...

"Is that a wallet in your pocket or are you just happy to see me, Johnny." "Neither, it's my hernia from lifting your bovine sea cow of a sister. Now hurry up and take the damn picture!"

Cybrludite said...

#4 continued: ...but we couoldn't find a deep fryer big enough!

divine miss m said...

Woodstocky.

jbinnout said...

"Ok, now Laars, you grab her left leg and spin her 180 degrees"

WALSTIB said...

ya, um, you might have to back up a bit there, say a mile or so, if you want to get all of her in the picture.

MP Martin said...

I've had a monkey on my back, but never a Gigantopithecus.

MP Martin said...

♪♪My hat, it has big boobies
Big buttocks has my hat!
My hat, it has big thighs
Wild hair, and boots, has my hat!♪♪

(I don't know the French translation)

MP Martin said...

"Take the trash out! Put the toilet seat down! Put on some clothes! Get a job!" This bitch's been ridin' my ass all day!

MP Martin said...

This hat isn't doing any good at all. I'm already getting wet, and Ernesto hasn't even landed yet.

Rodney Dill said...

I heard a liberal application of Buttox reduces wrinkles.

Tomslick said...

It's tough to say cheese when I just counted my 5th lumbar vertebrae slide out of my asshole.

Dusty said...

When I signed on the help promote Rosie O'Donnell's joining "The View", I thought the pay was too good!

Adjustah said...

It's so nice to see Kevin and Britney renewing their vows...

Adjustah said...

These new Beano ads really grab your attention.