1. John Karr's latest sweetheart picks out a wedding dress.
2. Because nothing says "Turbo-Slut" like a dress made of red condoms.
3. "Oh, Mr Glitter, it's beautiful. I can't wait to try it on!"
4. Dress, Check. Webcam, Check. Hi-Speed Internet Connection, check. Now, let's fire up the website, post on some pedo message boards, and I'll be pulling in six figures by next Tuesday.
5. "Con-stant crave-ing has allllways been..."
6. "It... looks, um... lovely... on you... Mr. Sullivan."
7. "Damn. I lost my job at Tchotchke's for not wearing enough flair. Now, I'll never save up enough to buy the red condom dress."
8. Little Vala eyes new Goa'uld body armor, next on Stargate SG-1 Babies.
9. One of R Kelly's former mistresses ponders the irony that Mexicans call condoms 'raincoats.'
10. "Thanks, but the johns pay better if you go bareback."
Best of Zeke
The condom dress was a huge hit with street walkers thru-out the world. And Lindsay Lohan
Best of WhoopsieDaisey
John Karr mused, "Da-amn! Hot Babe Thursday already?"
Best of WALSTIB
"...oh, that reminds me. Mom, can I have that funny looking ice cream cone now?"
Oddly enough, the dress was effective when used properly in 98 of 100 cases.
Mommy, I think your red Pumas would look great with this dress.
"Funny...the dress only comes in one size."
Best of David Simon
Joycelyn Elders launches her new kids' eveningwear collection.
Best of curly
"Look Daddy! Those are the same balloon thingies that the UPS man has with him when he visits Mommy!"
Best of curly
Fun at the DNC Anti-Family Carnival: Next to the aborted fetus ring toss booth stood the “guess how many condoms are on this dress”.
Best of Rodney Dill
"uh, Ma'am, you're dripping."
Best of Adjustah
She marvelled at just how pale Michael Jackson's skin actually was...
Best of Submariner
MS. Letourneau says that if you pick your boyfriend right, you don't need those for a few years...
Johnny Weir laughed; "Totally tacky, no gossamer, over-the-top obvious - I'll take three if they come in pastels."