Monday, August 21, 2006

Red Rubber Ball Gown

1. John Karr's latest sweetheart picks out a wedding dress.

2. Because nothing says "Turbo-Slut" like a dress made of red condoms.

3. "Oh, Mr Glitter, it's beautiful. I can't wait to try it on!"

4. Dress, Check. Webcam, Check. Hi-Speed Internet Connection, check. Now, let's fire up the website, post on some pedo message boards, and I'll be pulling in six figures by next Tuesday.

5. "Con-stant crave-ing has allllways been..."

6. "It... looks, um... lovely... on you... Mr. Sullivan."

7. "Damn. I lost my job at Tchotchke's for not wearing enough flair. Now, I'll never save up enough to buy the red condom dress."

8. Little Vala eyes new Goa'uld body armor, next on Stargate SG-1 Babies.

9. One of R Kelly's former mistresses ponders the irony that Mexicans call condoms 'raincoats.'

10. "Thanks, but the johns pay better if you go bareback."

Best of Zeke
The condom dress was a huge hit with street walkers thru-out the world. And Lindsay Lohan

Best of WhoopsieDaisey
John Karr mused, "Da-amn! Hot Babe Thursday already?"

Best of WALSTIB
"...oh, that reminds me. Mom, can I have that funny looking ice cream cone now?"

Oddly enough, the dress was effective when used properly in 98 of 100 cases.

Mommy, I think your red Pumas would look great with this dress.

"Funny...the dress only comes in one size."

Best of David Simon
Joycelyn Elders launches her new kids' eveningwear collection.

Best of curly
"Look Daddy! Those are the same balloon thingies that the UPS man has with him when he visits Mommy!"

Best of curly
Fun at the DNC Anti-Family Carnival: Next to the aborted fetus ring toss booth stood the “guess how many condoms are on this dress”.

Best of Rodney Dill
"uh, Ma'am, you're dripping."

Best of Adjustah
She marvelled at just how pale Michael Jackson's skin actually was...

Best of Submariner
MS. Letourneau says that if you pick your boyfriend right, you don't need those for a few years...

Johnny Weir laughed; "Totally tacky, no gossamer, over-the-top obvious - I'll take three if they come in pastels."


Roto-Reuters/J.P. Moczulski

22 comments:

Zeke said...

Project Runway, "the early years" was a smashing success and gave clothing manufacturer's a window into the world of tomorrow.

Zeke said...

Why can't my skin be as beautiful as hers? unrealistic standards are destroying our youth.

Zeke said...

The condom dress was a huge hit with street walkers thru-out the world. And Lindsay Lohan

WhoopsieDaisey said...

John Karr mused, "Da-amn! Hot Babe Thursday already?"

Submariner said...

A Japanese robot? Then why's she peein' in that silver bowl?

WALSTIB said...

"...oh, that reminds me. Mom, can I have that funny looking ice cream cone now?"

WALSTIB said...

Oddly enough, the dress was effective when used properly in 98 of 100 cases.

David Simon said...

Joycelyn Elders launches her new kids' eveningwear collection.

WALSTIB said...

Mommy, I think your red Pumas would look great with this dress.

WALSTIB said...

"Funny...the dress only comes in one size."

Anonymous said...

Does it come in Magnum size?

curly said...

"Look Daddy! Those are the same balloon thingies that the UPS man has with him when he visits Mommy!"

curly said...

We call them condoms, Andrew Sullivan calls them flavor savers, and Michael Jackson calls them chewing gum.

curly said...

Fun at the DNC Anti-Family Carnival: Next to the aborted fetus ring toss booth stood the “guess how many condoms are on this dress”.

The Al Gore designed “earth friendly/zero population” dress was made from recycled condoms.

Rodney Dill said...

"uh, Ma'am, you're dripping."

sonicfrog said...

Mommy, that's not the way my teacher uses those...

Adjustah said...

She marvelled at just how pale Michael Jackson's skin actually was...

Submariner said...

MS. Letourneau says that if you pick your boyfriend right, you don't need those for a few years...

Submariner said...

Auntie Mo Dowd says the Hammer and Sickle condoms go up top; why are you wearing them on your hem?

Submariner said...

Johnny Weir laughed; "Totally tacky, no gossamer, over-the-top obvious - I'll take three if they come in pastels."

WALSTIB said...
This comment has been removed by a blog administrator.
WALSTIB said...

Mom? The label says "NEA Fashions/your tax dollars at work". What does that mean?