Tuesday, August 29, 2006
Q. How Do You Keep Your A$$hole From Getting Sunburnt?
1. "Greetings 'My Man' What is the 'Down Low' Here in the 'Hood?' Would you happen to be 'Chilling' with your 'Homies?'"
2. A parasol and a parasite.
3. The umbrella was a sensible precaution ever since Senator Reid almost drowned while waiting for his limo in a light drizzle.
4. "My work here is finished. Toodle-oo, losers!" -- If Mary Poppins Was a Democrat.
5. "Well, maybe if you had smeared blood on your mantle, your firstborn would have survived the hurricane."
6. Senator Reid is deathly afraid of oobleck.
7. "So, when the looting started, did you get anything good?"
8. "Yo, Homes. Where can a whitebread score some smack?"
9. "Sure, Bubba, I'd love to see your shrimp boat."
10. "Does Marcellus look like a bitch to me? Let me Focus Group that and get back to you."
Best of What, me worry?
"Say bro! Where'd you learn to dap like dat?"
"I digs da way you haves your ho holdin' your umbrella when she's not holdin your hairy reed!"
Best of The Man
Reid: Where is all this chocolate I keep hearing about?
Best of Van Helsing
Senator Reid prudently holds his wallet out of reach behind his back.
Best of Shayne
"... and you say you're an actual black man?"
Best of Cybrludite
"So, you shillin' for donations an' votes by tap-dancin' on the graves of 1,200 of my neighbors? Well, as you can see by my shirt, I'll be voting Republican this year. Maybe I'll vote fo' y'all nex' time if you ditch that cracker, Byrd...", and then Harry Reid woke up screaming.
Best of David Simon
"You sure is lucky you is white Mr. Reid. If you was a brother and you killed Patriot Act, you'd be doin' 20 to life."
Best of sonicfrog
Lightning strike now. Please Oh Please Oh Please!!!!!!
Best of Anonymous
So do we have a deal? I have never trusted this white girl and have always wanted an impoverished, black manservant to hold my umbrella.
Best of prince of leaves
"So, where might I find some of this 'lagniappe' of which you speak?"
"And Senator, be sure to have the stuffed green peppers at Rocky and Carlo's when you visit Chalmette later today..."
"Thank you for showing me the prototype of your new hurricane protection system for New Orleans, Senator...Gosh, is there nothing big government can't do?"
Among Nancy's many duties as Sen. Reid's assistant was to swat away the giant flying yarmulkes.
Best of Dusty
Sorry, I don't speak jive, but I do have my interpreter with me.
I'm here to arrange a New Orleans funeral for the Democrat party.
Best of Submariner
So it's a deal! I'll get you three cases of Colt 45 and you whack Dick Cheney for me?
Best of Adjustah
"Can I help you enjoy that Snickers?"
Best of Mr. Right
"Yes, hello, Senator Reid? Listen, I'm from the legal department of Traveller's Insurance Company and I'm here to warn you that if y'all don't lose the red umbrella, we're suing your ass back to the Stone Age!"
"Actually, I have found it is quite a bit more effective at deflecting Karl Rove's mindray than a tinfoil beanie..."
"Senator, I dig the umbrella, but someone needs to tell that assistant of yours that the hammer and sickle always should face front."
Ripped from http://ace.mu.nu/