Friday, August 11, 2006
My Captions Are Still More Accurate Than Reuters
1. Adnan Hajj's career as a wedding photographer was cut short when they groom angrily demanded to know "Who photoshopped big hooters onto Wife #3?"
2. Driver's License photos and the way they would be if the ACLU had its way.
3. Nice. Making fun of a short-order cook photographing some Ninjas. Read their story. Educate yourselves. Morons.
4. "Of course we're voting for Lamont. Death to the Jew Lieberman!... um, we mean, 'Our nation is stronger when we negotiate with our enemies.'"
5. Puma ads in the Middle East are toned down to respect cultural norms.
6. "Say... 'Allahu Akhbar!'... but don't pull the trigger, yet."
7. The BBC welcomes its latest crop of interns.
8. Prom pictures at Dearborn's Fordson High School (a.k.a. "Hezbullah High")
9. "Thanks for letting me take your picture. Of course, you'll all have to be honor-killed now."
10. "OK, I'll let you girls get to the stoning, but I still don't see what the big deal about saying 'Jehovah' is. ... Ow! ... Ow! ... Ow! ... Ow!"
Best of Submariner
Welcome to the new fall line by Hefty®.
New NYT staffers get their pictures taken for their City Desk credentials.
The ladies were scandalized that Ibrahim's white robe parted. Of course, then he had to kill them...
Best of David Simon
What happens in Mecca, stays in Mecca.
"Hurry up and take the picture Abu. You're going to make me late for my cliterectomy appointment."
Best of prince of leaves
Omar saw the five men on their way to the Lord of the Rings convention, and just had to stop them for a picture.
Tall one's thought bubble: "Oh great, my trainer was showing! Now this smutty picture's gonna be on every up-burqa site faster than you can say muttaween..."
"Hey Mohammed, is that a roll of film in your dishdasha, or are you just happy to see us?"
Best of Silhouette
Years later, flipping through the family album, everyone would comment on how much the cousins looked alike.
Best of Adjustah
"Welcome to London, here, have a passport..."
Best of Frank IBC
A few seconds later, Adnan would be startled to feel the heat of Andrew Sullivan's gaze on his "power gams".
Best of curly
The Arab chapter of NOW (the National Organization of Wahabbiast) poses for a group picture.
Find Michael Jackson in this picture and win a free laptop!
Best of Six Degrees of Blondness
OK, one more picture then back to the sandcrawler. We've got some droids to sell.
Best of divine miss m
Victoria's Secret's grand opening in Riyadh -- complete with live models -- proved to be a scandalous affair.
Best of Big Daddy
"you know how I know you're gay?...you have no panty lines."
Best of Anonymous
"Damn it," thought Jack Bauer from underneath his burkah, " I have got to get that camera before those two guys in red!"
Best of Jonathan Leffingwell
"Hey, Ibrahaim: Fat guy in a little robe! Fat guy in a little robe!"
Hat Tip: Divine Miss M