Friday, August 18, 2006

More SOAP

1. "FBI, Ma'am, I'm afraid I'll have to inspect your booty."

2. "Nope, no liquids, no nail clippers, just a mutha-f*****' sh*tload of poisonous snakes."

3. "I'm escorting John Karr back from Thailand. He'll need a kosher meal and a six-year-old to sit on his face."

4. "Sorry for the delay, Agent Flynn. A group of Code Pink girls were in the security line ahead of you, and our policy is to run them through the X-ray four or five times to kill the lice before we let them on the plane."

5. "False Alarm, Agent Flynn. The spikes on Andrew Sullivan's butt plug set off the metal detector."

9 comments:

David Simon said...

"I don't care if you're a federal agent, Rogaine is still a banned substance."

curly said...

"FBI -- Female Body Inspector? Where did you get your badge, from a gum ball machine?"

Security was tight at The Hairclub For Men.

"We're recruiters for the Caption This! web site, looking for talent for "Hot Babe Thursdays". You interested?"

Cybrludite said...

Get my carry-on out of that bin. It's the one with "Bad Mother ****er" embroidered on it.

Submariner said...

Nothing to be alarmed about. I'm just looking to recruit talent. Seen anyone with XXX tattooed on the back of his neck?

Submariner said...

Oh! Mr. Freeman! I just loved you in "Prince of Thieves!"

Submariner said...

"International jewel thieves?" No miss, we're hunting for faggot ice skatin' losers...

Submariner said...

Out-a-my-way, bi-yotch! We got a hot tip that SOTG is being held against his will on this plane. Broots - tail section. Fox - cargo hold. You honey, come with me...

Occasional Reader said...

"Script police, m'am. We're under orders to shut this whole thing down, and write up a quick script for Spiders That Ridicule You in a Social Situation."

prince of leaves said...

Keenen Ivory Wayans knew he'd taken a wrong turn when the blonde stewardess welcomed Commander Apollo and Aaron Doral aboard Colonial One.