Thursday, August 17, 2006

A Little Short on the Babe Quotient, but Nonetheless Entertaining

1. Low-Cost Silicone Substitute: Alternate Use #103 for Bush's Baked Beans

2. Since his heart attack, Clinton has had to lay off cigars.

3. Miss Arkansas is disqualified from the pageant for bra-stuffing.

4. "This diner only sells beans... but we sell A LOT of beans."

5. "This is weird and humiliating, but she is a United States senator and she paid in advance."

6. "These aren't beans. They're the testicles of all the men Hillary has emasculated."

Best of Anonymous
Answering the question, "what if Howard Stern was in charge of creating the in flight video demonstrating the new airline carry-on restrictions?"

Best of Submariner
no, No, NO! It puts the LOTION on its skin!

Post-mastectomy, Sandy tried many materials but found that Van Camps seemed to even out her appearance the best.

Katie Couric finally answers the big question: "What will you wear on the CBS Evening News?"

Best of WhoopsieDaisey
I got back in shape. I hired sitters. I even wore nothing but Saran wrap at the door. Charlie still won't touch me.
Then we got our German Shepherd, Prince. It turnas out that Prince likes pork and beans. I've been a happy woman ever since...

Best of Adjustah
Noone understood the direction producers were taking with the Bond Girls in Casino Royale.

Beans, beans, they're good for your heart,
Just open your top and lift 'em apart...

Senator? Senator Kennedy? Are you OK, sir?

Best of Son Of The Godfather
"Uhm... Sarah?... When we sing that little beans, beans, they're good for your heart' ditty, we actually mean when you ingest them."

"WHAT?!?... SOTG was left out of the 'Best Of' caps with that ABSOLUTELY BRILLIANT 'Coolio' reference on the air-conditioned car photo?!? I think I'll protest by pouring beans on my nipples."

Best of The Man
Reuters pulls the photograph after it is found that the boobs and her teeth have been altered.

Best of Six Degrees of Blondness
"Boob farts." You mean you haven't heard of 'em? Give me about 30 minutes...

Best of nevergrewup
The new restaurant chain Beans and Boobs makes it's long awaited debut today. The new chain will replace the much missed Tits and Toots.

Best of curly
"How do you drive a hunger striking lesbo like Cindy nuts".

The dim witted pre-op transvestite had always heard her dad tell her brothers that beans would put hair on their chest.

Kentucky Cruise Lines cheapest singles fair combines all-you-can-eat bean buffet, an inexpensive escort and a bass boat for $49.95.

Best of T. Harris
Understatement of The Year: A Little Short on the Babe Quotient.

Best of Silhouette
Airline Screeners Training: Addendum #89. Passengers may try to sneak liquids or gels onto the plane in a variety of manners.

Best of Rodney Dill
When the rock opera Tommy hits the small time.

Puss and Poots

Best of racerboy
The downside of being Miss Boston.

Best of divine miss m
Our Lady Queen of Peace's desperate effort to boost attendance at its annual baked bean supper.

Best of Mr. Right
Beans, beans the musical fruit
The more you eat the more you... er, tit...
The bigger the tits the more you'll feel
So pour 'em on and make her squeal!

Best of What, me worry?
Joan knew that she'ld have to get kinky to marry into the Van Kamps Pork and Beans dynasty.


Best of jbinnout
"Yes, I think I'll have the baked beans with a pink taco on the side."


Hat Tip: Jonathon H
Source: Splosh

44 comments:

Anonymous said...

Answering the question, "what if Howard Stern was in charge of creating the in flight video demonstrating the new airline carry-on restrictions?"

Cybrludite said...

ORA: Ah LIKE beans. You kin tell if they're puttin' anythang in 'em!

Submariner said...

ORA:

Sandy would do anything to catch Roger Daltry's attention...

Submariner said...

Beans; what of it? You're soaking in dishwashing detergent...

Submariner said...

no, No, NO!
It puts the LOTION on its skin!

Submariner said...

Post-mastectomy, Sandy tried many materials but found that Van Camps seemed to even out her appearance the best.


yeah, yeah, totally wrong, going to hades, yada, yada, yada...

WhoopsieDaisey said...

I got back in shape. I hired sitters. I even wore nothing but Saran wrap at the door. Charlie still won't touch me.
Then we got our German Shepherd, Prince. It turnas out that Prince likes pork and beans. I've been a happy woman ever since...

Adjustah said...

Noone understood the direction producers were taking with the Bond Girls in Casino Royale.

Son Of The Godfather said...

"Uhm... Sarah?... When we sing that little beans, beans, they're good for your heart' ditty, we actually mean when you ingest them."

Son Of The Godfather said...

"WHAT?!?... SOTG was left out of the 'Best Of' caps with that ABSOLUTELY BRILLIANT 'Coolio' reference on the air-conditioned car photo?!? I think I'll protest by pouring beans on my nipples."

Son Of The Godfather said...

Would I lick them off her lips?
Could I eat them off her t*ts?
Would my dignity be forever lost?
I WOULD eat, COULD eat beans in sauce!

The Man said...

Rueters pulls the photograph after it is found that the boobs and her teeth have been altered.

Six Degrees of Blondness said...

"Boob farts." You mean you haven't heard of 'em? Give me about 30 minutes...

nevergrewup said...

The new restaurant chain Beans and Boobs makes it's long awaited debut today. The new chain will replace the much missed Tits and Toots.

Submariner said...

Could this be the long lost inspiration for that Disney classic "Toot Sweet?"

Submariner said...

So; what exactly IS Lesley Stahl doing these days?

Submariner said...

Katie Couric finally answers the big question: "What will you wear on the CBS Evening News?"

Submariner said...

Now that you're one of us, you need to hide that third nipple. Phoebe and I are "unusually messy eaters" but others just use makeup...

divine miss m said...

Yawn. Performance art sure ain't what it used to be...

curly said...

"How do you drive a hunger striking lesbo like Cindy nuts".

If she'll pour beans in her bra, what does she put in her shorts?

The dim witted pre-op transvestite had always heard her dad tell her brothers that beans would put hair on their chest.

Roseanne Barr's lover found that the scent of baked beans on her boobs worked better than a dab of Chanel #5 behind the ears.

T. Harris said...

Understatement of The Year: A Little Short on the Babe Quotient.

jeff said...

One use for beans guaranteed not to cause gas.

Uchuck the Tuchuck said...

Oprah said this would make me skinny, but so far I'm just getting sticky...

Adjustah said...

Beans, beans, they're good for your heart,
Just open your top and lift 'em apart...

Submariner said...

Sorry honey, but it's gonna take a while to heat up dinner; the microwave blew up today.

curly said...

From eHarmony.com: Crowned "Miss Debutante" the Lazy Wheels Mobile Home Park in Hope, Arkansas, Jo Lynn loves taxidermy, hog calling and long walks.

Kentucky Cruise Lines cheapest singles fair combines all-you-can-eat bean buffet, an inexpensive escort and a bass boat for $49.95.

What, me worry? said...

This babe's for the ladies at the Gay Pride Barbeque and pot luck. For the men, all of the hot dogs are guaranteed to taste like crap.

Silhouette said...

Airline Screeners Training: Addendum #89. Passengers may try to sneak liquids or gels onto the plane in a variety of manners.

Rufus Leaking said...

I'll do the beans, but you provide the pork.

jeff said...

But don't baked beans go well with raw eggs? (yes, I went and looked. Anyone know a good eyeball cleanser?)

champaignken said...

"Beans, beans the musical fruit, the more you eat the more you toot"

Hillary Clinton prepares to recreate famous Ann-Margret baked bean scene from the movie Tommy.

Rodney Dill said...

Britney Spears will do anything for attention these days.

jeff said...

"Well, the suit says it was made by tupperware..."

David Simon said...

Well, at least now that skank will attract something - flies.

Rodney Dill said...

When the rock opera Tommy hits the small time.

Rodney Dill said...

Puss and Poots

racerboy said...

"I'll have today's furburger and beans special, please."

"Very good, Sir. And would you like thighs with that?

racerboy said...

The downside of being Miss Boston.

divine miss m said...

Our Lady Queen of Peace's desperate effort to boost attendance at its annual baked bean supper.

Mr. Right said...

Beans, beans the musical fruit
The more you eat the more you... er, tit...
The bigger the tits the more you'll feel
So pour 'em on and make her squeal!


[Oh, God I hate myself for that one!]

What, me worry? said...

Joan knew that she'ld have to get kinky to marry into the Van Kamps Pork and Beans dynasty.

Adjustah said...

Senator? Senator Kennedy? Are you OK, sir?

jbinnout said...

"Yes, I think I'll have the baked beans with a pink taco on the side."

sonicfrog said...

...and now for my next trick...