1. Low-Cost Silicone Substitute: Alternate Use #103 for Bush's Baked Beans
2. Since his heart attack, Clinton has had to lay off cigars.
3. Miss Arkansas is disqualified from the pageant for bra-stuffing.
4. "This diner only sells beans... but we sell A LOT of beans."
5. "This is weird and humiliating, but she is a United States senator and she paid in advance."
6. "These aren't beans. They're the testicles of all the men Hillary has emasculated."
Best of Anonymous
Answering the question, "what if Howard Stern was in charge of creating the in flight video demonstrating the new airline carry-on restrictions?"
Best of Submariner
no, No, NO! It puts the LOTION on its skin!
Post-mastectomy, Sandy tried many materials but found that Van Camps seemed to even out her appearance the best.
Katie Couric finally answers the big question: "What will you wear on the CBS Evening News?"
Best of WhoopsieDaisey
I got back in shape. I hired sitters. I even wore nothing but Saran wrap at the door. Charlie still won't touch me.
Then we got our German Shepherd, Prince. It turnas out that Prince likes pork and beans. I've been a happy woman ever since...
Best of Adjustah
Noone understood the direction producers were taking with the Bond Girls in Casino Royale.
Beans, beans, they're good for your heart,
Just open your top and lift 'em apart...
Senator? Senator Kennedy? Are you OK, sir?
Best of Son Of The Godfather
"Uhm... Sarah?... When we sing that little beans, beans, they're good for your heart' ditty, we actually mean when you ingest them."
"WHAT?!?... SOTG was left out of the 'Best Of' caps with that ABSOLUTELY BRILLIANT 'Coolio' reference on the air-conditioned car photo?!? I think I'll protest by pouring beans on my nipples."
Best of The Man
Reuters pulls the photograph after it is found that the boobs and her teeth have been altered.
Best of Six Degrees of Blondness
"Boob farts." You mean you haven't heard of 'em? Give me about 30 minutes...
Best of nevergrewup
The new restaurant chain Beans and Boobs makes it's long awaited debut today. The new chain will replace the much missed Tits and Toots.
Best of curly
"How do you drive a hunger striking lesbo like Cindy nuts".
The dim witted pre-op transvestite had always heard her dad tell her brothers that beans would put hair on their chest.
Kentucky Cruise Lines cheapest singles fair combines all-you-can-eat bean buffet, an inexpensive escort and a bass boat for $49.95.
Best of T. Harris
Understatement of The Year: A Little Short on the Babe Quotient.
Best of Silhouette
Airline Screeners Training: Addendum #89. Passengers may try to sneak liquids or gels onto the plane in a variety of manners.
Best of Rodney Dill
When the rock opera Tommy hits the small time.
Puss and Poots
Best of racerboy
The downside of being Miss Boston.
Best of divine miss m
Our Lady Queen of Peace's desperate effort to boost attendance at its annual baked bean supper.
Best of Mr. Right
Beans, beans the musical fruit
The more you eat the more you... er, tit...
The bigger the tits the more you'll feel
So pour 'em on and make her squeal!
Best of What, me worry?
Joan knew that she'ld have to get kinky to marry into the Van Kamps Pork and Beans dynasty.
Best of jbinnout
"Yes, I think I'll have the baked beans with a pink taco on the side."
Hat Tip: Jonathon H