Saturday, August 19, 2006

Free For All, Come and Get It



Best of John
And we plan to rebuild the levies. Not with hay, not with straw, but with bricks....about yay big.

Best of Passionate Conservative
...and Willie Wonka is laying down on the job. I wanted New Orleans to be a Chocolate City by now...

Best of Zeke
And there floating in the water was a dildo this big... scrawled on the side it said property of Andrew Sullivan.

Best of David Simon
"If G-d had intended me to pick only one nostril at a time, why did he give me two index fingers?"

"Okay Ray, now when someone asks you how you could f*ck up so badly, you take those fingers, stick them in your ears and say 'la la la.'"

"No, my city will not be racially diverse. Chocolate is delicious; but when you mix it with crackers, it don't taste good no more."

Best of Dusty
If my IQ were expressed in inches, I'd be this smart!

Best of Occasional Reader
"I'm secure enough in my masculinity to be filmed against a pinkish-lavender backdrop, mostly because of my sheer size."

Best of curly
"It's George Bush's fault that my penis isn't this big."

"Yes, Mr. Sullivan, I know that my pearl bracelet clashes with the pink back ground."

Best of Anonymous
We had fish this big swimming in downtown New Orleans, and it is all Bush's fault.

... and in parting, I would like to leave one final reminder to Cindy Sheehan.

Bigger? Being a man of class and dignity, I won't feed into that stereotype. Last night, however, I squeezed one out this big.

You. No, you.

Best of Dave Munger
My finger's don't look like they're that far apart, do they? But in order for one to touch the other, it would have to first traverse half of the intervening distance. Before it can do that, it must FIRST traverse a quarter of the distance, and so on, ad infinitum. That's why local government shouldn't be expected to get rescources in place before federal government. Sure, it's closer, but all distances are equally impossible for objects to traverse.

Best of Rodney Dill
"So how big is dem snakes?"

Best of Submariner
What can I say? Dawn said this wasn't enough for her...

No shi-ite - the doorman at Avalon Manor - this big! I swear!

Hey, Ray; how big was the "sausage" they served you in that Thai resaraunt?



From: PMSNBC

28 comments:

Anonymous said...

We had fish this big swimming in downtown New Orleans, and it is all Bush's fault.

John said...

And we plan to rebuild the levies. Not with hay, not with straw, but with bricks....about yay big.

CJ said...

No, baby. It ain't the pinstripes that make me look big. For real. Unh-huh.

Passionate Conservative said...

...and Willie Wonka is laying down on the job. I wanted New Orleans to be a Chocolate City by now...

/hey, he said he wanted it...

Zeke said...

And there floating in the water was a dildo this big... scrawled on the side it said property of Andrew Sullivan.

David Simon said...

"If G-d had intended me to pick only one nostril at a time, why did he give me two index fingers?"

David Simon said...

"Okay Ray, now when someone asks you how you could f*ck up so badly, you take those fingers, stick them in your ears and say 'la la la.'"

David Simon said...

"No, my city will not be racially diverse. Chocolate is delicious; but when you mix it with crackers, it don't taste good no more."

Dusty said...

If my IQ were expressed in inches, I'd be this smart!

Occasional Reader said...

"I'm secure enough in my masculinity to be filmed against a pinkish-lavender backdrop, mostly because of my sheer size."

WALSTIB said...

...so since then I been looking for my engraved ivory mojo stick...about yea big...maybe got washed out to sea...some think it's a dildo but it's an ancestrial mojo stick, goddammit!

curly said...

"It's George Bush's fault that my penis isn't this big."

curly said...

"Yes, Mr. Sullivan, I know that my pearl bracelet clashes with the pink back ground."

Anonymous said...

You put your right hand in,
You take your right hand out,
You put your right hand in
and you shake it all about...

Anonymous said...

... and in parting, I would like to leave one final reminder to Cindy Sheehan.

curly said...

"Who taught me to race-bait and blame white folks for my own incompetence? Jesse Jackson, obviously."

Dave Munger said...

OK, this should leave room to photoshop in a bass. Anyone remember what that represents?

On the one hand, there's only one thing that's ultimately important in life - my index finger. On the other hand, there's the other index finger.

All bald black men are handsome, I am a bald black man, ergo, I am handsome. QED, next question.

My finger's don't look like they're that far apart, do they? But in order for one to touch the other, it would have to first traverse half of the intervening distance. Before it can do that, it must FIRST traverse a quarter of the distance, and so on, ad infinitum. That's why local government shouldn't be expected to get rescources in place before federal government. Sure, it's closer, but all distances are equally impossible for objects to traverse.

So he's like "Hey Osamabamamamaaah, listen to this, I'm a motaboat - bababadababadabababadadadabada..." and me, I'm the other finger, I'm all "yeah yeah yeah WHATEVAH!" and he's all "I could go for some clam chowdah and Pepridge Fahm Nantucket cookies" and I'm all "YEAH WHATEVA!" and he's all "OUR government, TYRANICAL?" and I'm like "WATEVA!" Cause this is my United States of whatevah!

Anonymous said...

Whatcha talkin bout, Willis?

Anonymous said...

Bigger? Being a man of class and dignity, I won't feed into that stereotype. Last night, however, I squeezed one out this big.

Anonymous said...

You. No, you.

Rodney Dill said...

"So how big is dem snakes?"

Submariner said...

I WAS "stuck on stupid," but thanks to the ho's polish remover, both fingers is free at last!

Submariner said...

What can I say? Dawn said this wasn't enough for her...

Submariner said...

I woulda ordered the evacuation earlier, but see, Bush sent me a big screen tv fo' the "Command Center" and that storm was this far away from N'awlins. And Bush never tol' me ANYthing like "objects on this screen may be closer than they appear..." so it's his fault.

Submariner said...

No shi-ite - the doorman at Avalon Manor - this big! I swear!

Submariner said...

Missed it by THAT much!

Submariner said...

Hey, Ray; how big was the "sausage" they served you in that Thai resaraunt?

Passionate Conservative said...

No shit, it was this big! Biggest thing I ever saw on a cracker!