Wednesday, August 23, 2006

Croc Tease

1. The Death Penalty got much more interesting after Florida elected a Bond Supervilllain as governor.

2. It tooks years, but Jenny eventually got sweet, sweet revenge for getting peed on in the pool.

3. Faced with declining membership, the Baptist church decided to make its initiation rituals more exciting.

4. Yawn. I am SO SICK of David Blaine.

5. After numerous lawsuits, Parker Brothers was forced to recall the home version of Fear Factor.

Best of David Simon
"Sorry Sully, but I have no intention of becoming The Boyfriend's matching luggage."

Best of Adjustah
"Hey. Can croc's smell pee?"

Best of Silhouette
Example #12 of why it is a bad idea to wait too long to clean out your pool.

"Using this mesh cage and highly scientific methodology, I will now prove the WTC towers were brought down by rampaging Zionist crocodiles working for Haliburton."

Harsh, yes, but he never had an overdue library book again.

"Hi, I'm Marlin Perkins. Welcome to Mutual of Omaha's Wild Kingdom. I’ll wait in the boat while Jim tags the docile creature."

Best of Jonathan Leffingwell
Note to self: Do NOT enroll in Steve Irwin's biology class!

Best of occasional reader
My one request is to have crocodiles with frikkin' laser beams attached to their heads...

Best of the paperboy
Jacques Cousteau divers explore the secrets of Gatorade. Tonight on The Discovery Channel. 8 PM, 7 Central.

Inspired by the paperboy
It wasn't such a good idea for those Geico people to flush that lizard into the sewer.

Best of divine miss m
Sorry, there, Croc, but someone's been leaving dead mice on the doorstep lately, and it's unfair to profile only the cat.

Best of Submariner
Alfred was a choosy aligator; he only liked thighs. He knew he'd hit the mother-load the day that Cindy and Hillary shared the cage...

Best of jbinnout
Peter Pan try outs were canceled for the rest of the week, when the cage door suddenly sprung open.



Toque Cock: Brenda
Source: Yahoo News

30 comments:

Submariner said...

Kramer comes up with a winning idea to remain "master of his domain."

David Simon said...

"Sorry Sully, but I have no intention of becoming The Boyfriend's matching luggage."

Zeke said...

before the metorite hit resturauants like this were all the rage for the Croc on the go.

Adjustah said...

"Hey. Can croc's smell pee?"

Silhouette said...

Example #12 of why it is a bad idea to wait too long to clean out your pool.

Silhouette said...

"Using this mesh cage and highly scientific methodology, I will now prove the WTC towers were brought down by rampaging Zionist crocodiles working for Haliburton."

Silhouette said...

Harsh, yes, but he never had an overdue library book again.

Submariner said...

Croc's thought bubble; "Laugh now, sucker. So did that dog when he came visiting, but you don't see a sack on him anymore, do you?"

Submariner said...

Croc's thought bubble 2; "How nice - they're serving cocktail wiener appetisers!"

Silhouette said...

‘Ow to speak Awstralyun: jacuzzi.

Silhouette said...

When a crocodile is lying, do other crocodiles tell him he is full of man?

Silhouette said...

Chase Devlin: Underwater Veterinarian Dentist

Silhouette said...

Al Roker “treated” the rest of his crew to the discount tour at Discovery Cove.

Silhouette said...

"Hi, I'm Marlin Perkins. Welcome to Mutual of Omaha's Wild Kingdom. I’ll wait in the boat while Jim tags the docile creature."

Jonathan said...

Note to self: Do NOT enroll in Steve Irwin's biology class!

occasional reader said...

My one request is to have crocodiles with frikkin' laser beams attached to their heads...

occasional reader said...

Q: Why is the crocodile smiling?

A: Because he knows the diver's Croc Cage was built by British Petroleum.

MP Martin said...

Jacques Cousteau divers explore the secrets of Gatorade. Tonight on The Discovery Channel. 8 PM, 7 Central.

MP Martin said...

It wasn't such a good idea for those Geico people to turn that lizard loose in the pond.

MP Martin said...

The croc kept rattling David Banner's cage. Then David turned green, ripped off his dive suit, tore the cage open, smashed the croc's head in with his fist, swam to shore, stomped through the forest, and finally fell asleep beside a log.

Submariner said...

9th Ward shop-owners knew the class of the people around them and took creative steps to protect their establishments during Katrina.



Wait for it...
Just a couple more seconds...
>>>BA-BOOM!<<<
mwahahahaha - Dawn's head reached critical mass when she read this post!

curly said...

"I wish I could eat you."

What, me worry? said...

Upon seeing the photo, the director for CAIR (Council of AllIgator Relations) issued the following statement: “The photo unfairly suggests that all alligators are dangerous and untrustworthy. This racist/species-ist Zionist propaganda should stop.”

This week on Crocodile Hunter: Steve tries to prove that shooting beaver shots to the croc will calm it down.

New Orleans tittie bars, post-Catrina.

divine miss m said...

Sorry, there, Croc, but someone's been leaving dead mice on the doorstep lately, and it's unfair to profile only the cat.

divine miss m said...

Looks like *someone* forgot the Three Most Important Rules of Tripping:

1) No, you can't fly.
2) Yes, the cops can, too, see you.
3) No, you can't breathe underwater.

And whaddya know, you aren't invisible to crocodiles, either...

prince of leaves said...

The revamped Weekee Watchee Springs added an element of danger by allowing one lucky (and sometimes not so lucky) visitor to participate in each mermaid show.

prince of leaves said...

Look at that water -- is it any wonder that pirate hookers become smelly?

Submariner said...

Alfred was a choosy aligator; he only liked thighs. He knew he'd hit the mother-load the day that Cindy and Hillary shared the cage...

jbinnout said...

Peter Pan try outs were canceled for the rest of the week, when the cage door suddenly sprung open.

prince of leaves said...

Jim wanted to mack on the beautiful mermaid, but alas, found himself croc-blocked.