Sunday, August 13, 2006

Big Blow


1. Andrew Sullivan's Google Search for "Man Blowing Giant Horn" yielded only this.

2. After George Soros's money ran out, Air America resorted to depserate measures.

3. RealAudio, the early years.

4. ... and then, Howard Dean woke up.

5. "It PUTS the LOTION on its SKIN!"

6. "Bush IS Hitler! He supports ISRAEL because he's a NAZI!" Being one of the voices in Michael Moore's head was a full-time job.

7. Unfortunately, all SETI ever picked up was this guy.

8. People unclear on the concept: Beer Bongs

9. Robin Williams grew paranoid. "Keep the guy away from MY COCAINE!"

Best of prince of leaves
ORA: Dr. Ferris was pleased with the Project X prototype, even if it was only able to knock down a cardboard dollhouse.

But before he could sound reveille on the new horn, Lt. Schmidt tragically pointed it into the wind, and the ram-air effect inflated his head to the size of a barrage balloon.

Best of Jonathan H
"Attenfion: The smelly pirate hookers will arrive at 1400 hours. Please assemble in the mess tent for splosh at that time. Thank you."

Best of Son Of The Godfather
"CINDY SHEHAG... WHAT IS YOUR MAJOR MALFUNCTION?"

Zell Miller's description of the spitwad Army becomes a reality.

"Well, I hate to toot my own horn, but here goes..."

"Yo, Army dude... You know any Herb Albert?"

Best of Submariner
Unfortunately for Pat's career, he also blew a mean skin flute after hours.

This isn't "Company B" and I don't "do boogey-woogey!"

You.Want.Me.On.That.Wall..You.NEED.Me.On.That.Wall!

Dave's.Not.Here.

Best of curly
The Army's new $10,000 hardened EMP (electro-magnetic pulse) proof PA system.

Best of Jason
The Army unveils its plan to get Cindy Sheehan to shut the eff up.

Best of the paperboy
If you want to capture someone's attention, whisper.


Hat Tip: Mayo on Sun, and Lileks

30 comments:

prince of leaves said...

ORA: Dr. Ferris was pleased with the Project X prototype, even if it was only able to knock down a cardboard dollhouse.

prince of leaves said...

But before he could sound reveille on the new horn, Lt. Schmidt tragically pointed it into the wind, and the ram-air effect inflated his head to the size of a barrage balloon.

prince of leaves said...

Obvious: "Me so horrrrrny!"

Jonathan H said...

"Attenion: The smelly pirate hookers will arrive at 1400 hours. Please assemble in the mess tent for splosh at that time. Thank you."

V, check out http://www.splosh.co.uk/channel_free/the_free_house/index.htm for tons of good pics.

Jonathan said...

Col. Klink: "How's it hanging?"
Hogan: "Like a bugle...you wanna blow it?"
Col. Klink: "Sure!"

German Chancellor Gerhard Schroeder's h0m0erotic dream took a bizarre turn at the end.

Adjustah said...

I don't know what he's saying, but I'll bet he's talking to this guy.

Submariner said...

Let me get this straight - Wes Clark decided to use 1000's of amps and very expensive electronics to roust Noriega, and all we really needed was one bugler and a megaphone?

Submariner said...

I.Said: "Can.You.Hear.Me.Now.SOTG?"

Son Of The Godfather said...

"WHOEVER IS LEAVING THE SHOWER DRAIN CLOGGED WITH HAIR AND SNOT... KNOCK IT OFF!"

Son Of The Godfather said...

"CINDY SHEHAG... WHAT IS YOUR MAJOR MALFUNCTION?"

Son Of The Godfather said...

Zell Miller's description of the spitwad Army becomes a reality.

Son Of The Godfather said...

"Well, I hate to toot my own horn, but here goes..."

Son Of The Godfather said...

"Yo, Army dude... You know any Herb Albert?"

Submariner said...

Unfortunately for Pat's career, he also blew a mean skin flute after hours.

Submariner said...

And here's a little number for all the boys down at the "Blue Oyster."

Submariner said...

This isn't "Company B" and I don't "do boogey-woogey!"

Son Of The Godfather said...

"HEY MAGGOTS IN THE PICTURE ABOVE! GET YOUR DEATH-CULT RELIGION THE F*** OUT OF MY UNITED STATES!"

curly said...

The Army's new $10,000 hardened EMP (electro-magnetic pulse) proof PA system.

"Can you hear me now?"

Adjustah said...

"Sir, we think he was trying to blow up the base!"

Submariner said...

You.Want.Me.On.That.Wall..You.NEED.Me.On.That.Wall!

Jay Guevara said...

"Everyone who wants to pork Cindy Sheehan form a line behind me."

Jason said...

The Army unveils its plan to get Cindy Sheehan to shut the eff up.

Submariner said...

Cindy hatched a plan: "Won't talk with me, eh? I'll get a plot of land in Crawford, set up one of these, and BusHitler will arise to amplified queefs every day!"

Submariner said...

Dave's.Not.Here.

MP Martin said...

ahem... TESTINGTESTINGTESTINGTESTINGTESTINGTESTINGTESTINGTESTING!!!!!!!

MP Martin said...

Cool! Everybody's car alarm went off, and the parrots at the pet shop won't quit saying "testing"!

MP Martin said...

If you want to capture someone's attention, whisper.

"ISLAMIC EXTREMISTS ARE TRYING TO KILL YOU!!!"
Doesn't work, does it?

curly said...

"ATTENTION! John Murtha is a putz!....That is all."

Submariner said...

Attention
Tonight's activities will be:
Major Burns will speak on "Private practise billing rates" in OR 1
Major Hoolihan will speak on "Proper OR Attentiveness" in OR 2
The movie in the mess hall will be "Pablo, Estelle and What the Parrot Saw" Word to the wise - better get there early for a seat.
That is all.

T. Harris said...

And for a blow by blow account of the day's festivities.....