1. "Then, Hillary turns around without zipping up, and, no kidding, it must have been this big."2. "Oh, Oscar, Oscar, Oscar..."
3. Do not attempt to adjust your computer. We control the horizontal. We control the vertical...
4. "What is that thing, Pooty-Poot? A thought bubble? No smelly erasers? I don't get it."
5. ". . . and I said 'Rectum? Damn near killed him!' Thank you, I'm here all week."
6. ORA "Flap, flap, flapping my al-batross wings."
7. "Laura wanted me to ask, if it's true what you slavic types lack in imagination, you make up in sheer savage animal lust? Hey! Don't look at me? I'm just askin' here?"
8. "Hey, partner, I see somebody hacked your account and ordered up a dozen Swedish massages and the all-night hotel pr0n channel on your bill there. Hey! Don't look at me, ask Chirac. I was giving Merkel a full-body rub all night. "
9. "Look at the letters from satisfied 'Men's Wearhouse' customers. You're gonna like the way you look. I guarantee it.
10. "You know, for a Russian 'bear,' you look more like a twink."
Hat Tip: M the T
14 comments:
Rectum...damn near killed 'em.
Come on Pootie, give me a chuckle.
Kissed his belly? Kissed his belly! What the heck were you thinkin,' Vlad?
Look, Vlad, I'm tellin' you I already checked his teeth and he's got 10, maybe 15 years of labor left in 'im...
yeah, yeah; I know where I'm going for this one, Dawn...
Putin goes over his speech in order to avoid talking about who farted in the elevator.
"Pooty-poot, allow me to show you to the Neverland suite."
Tired of excess-minutes charges? You gotta switch to Cingular for the rollover plan. I mean, look what it's done for Chirac!
So, a German, a Frenchman and a Russian walk into the UN...
Vlad, look, I know you don't read American too good, but that there symbol behind you means "No pootin'" in here. Capische? Out!
Oh no you didn't! Ya wanna step outside and settle this thing man to pinko?
Ta Da!!! You papers have mysteriously dissapeared! How good am I....
or
You'll never get your papers back! That's what you get for showing me a fake version of your soul!
"Look here Pooty, two guys on an elevator and one guy shits, everybody knows who did it."
Top: "See, it's right there in the rules, any non-citizen boarding Air Force One has to be body-cavity searched."
Bottom: "Right this way Pooty-Poot, Mr. Gannon's all ready for you."
"Watcha got there Vlad?"
5 seconds later
"I swear it wasn't me man." "You Americans with your farting..."
"Ok already, Putin, just sing the f-in' contract and Haliburton is all yours."
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