Monday, July 31, 2006

Two-fer With Pooty-Poot

1. "Then, Hillary turns around without zipping up, and, no kidding, it must have been this big."

2. "Oh, Oscar, Oscar, Oscar..."

3. Do not attempt to adjust your computer. We control the horizontal. We control the vertical...

4. "What is that thing, Pooty-Poot? A thought bubble? No smelly erasers? I don't get it."

5. ". . . and I said 'Rectum? Damn near killed him!' Thank you, I'm here all week."

6. ORA "Flap, flap, flapping my al-batross wings."

7. "Laura wanted me to ask, if it's true what you slavic types lack in imagination, you make up in sheer savage animal lust? Hey! Don't look at me? I'm just askin' here?"

8. "Hey, partner, I see somebody hacked your account and ordered up a dozen Swedish massages and the all-night hotel pr0n channel on your bill there. Hey! Don't look at me, ask Chirac. I was giving Merkel a full-body rub all night. "

9. "Look at the letters from satisfied 'Men's Wearhouse' customers. You're gonna like the way you look. I guarantee it.

10. "You know, for a Russian 'bear,' you look more like a twink."

Hat Tip: M the T

14 comments:

The Man said...

Rectum...damn near killed 'em.

Come on Pootie, give me a chuckle.

Submariner said...

Kissed his belly? Kissed his belly! What the heck were you thinkin,' Vlad?

Submariner said...

Look, Vlad, I'm tellin' you I already checked his teeth and he's got 10, maybe 15 years of labor left in 'im...


yeah, yeah; I know where I'm going for this one, Dawn...

Jason said...

Putin goes over his speech in order to avoid talking about who farted in the elevator.

Jonathan said...

"Pooty-poot, allow me to show you to the Neverland suite."

Submariner said...

Tired of excess-minutes charges? You gotta switch to Cingular for the rollover plan. I mean, look what it's done for Chirac!

Submariner said...

So, a German, a Frenchman and a Russian walk into the UN...

Submariner said...

Vlad, look, I know you don't read American too good, but that there symbol behind you means "No pootin'" in here. Capische? Out!

Submariner said...

Oh no you didn't! Ya wanna step outside and settle this thing man to pinko?

sonicfrog said...

Ta Da!!! You papers have mysteriously dissapeared! How good am I....

or

You'll never get your papers back! That's what you get for showing me a fake version of your soul!

nevergrewup said...

"Look here Pooty, two guys on an elevator and one guy shits, everybody knows who did it."

prince of leaves said...

Top: "See, it's right there in the rules, any non-citizen boarding Air Force One has to be body-cavity searched."
Bottom: "Right this way Pooty-Poot, Mr. Gannon's all ready for you."

Jonathan H said...

"Watcha got there Vlad?"
5 seconds later
"I swear it wasn't me man." "You Americans with your farting..."

Rodney said...

"Ok already, Putin, just sing the f-in' contract and Haliburton is all yours."