1. "Then, Hillary turns around without zipping up, and, no kidding, it must have been this big."
2. "Oh, Oscar, Oscar, Oscar..."
3. Do not attempt to adjust your computer. We control the horizontal. We control the vertical...
4. "What is that thing, Pooty-Poot? A thought bubble? No smelly erasers? I don't get it."
5. ". . . and I said 'Rectum? Damn near killed him!' Thank you, I'm here all week."
6. ORA "Flap, flap, flapping my al-batross wings."
7. "Laura wanted me to ask, if it's true what you slavic types lack in imagination, you make up in sheer savage animal lust? Hey! Don't look at me? I'm just askin' here?"
8. "Hey, partner, I see somebody hacked your account and ordered up a dozen Swedish massages and the all-night hotel pr0n channel on your bill there. Hey! Don't look at me, ask Chirac. I was giving Merkel a full-body rub all night. "
9. "Look at the letters from satisfied 'Men's Wearhouse' customers. You're gonna like the way you look. I guarantee it.
10. "You know, for a Russian 'bear,' you look more like a twink."
Hat Tip: M the T