Monday, July 10, 2006

Save the Manatee

1. Nancy Pelosi's rarely-seen twin sister has never had botox.

2. "My job is to make Hillary look moderate." "My job is to make Hillary look thin."

3. I don' know a lot about art, but shouldn't they be playing poker?

4. "Women of the Left Wing" holds the record as Playboy's least popular pictorial of all-time.

5. "Yes, I can't believe they cancelled Commander-in-Chief either. Hold me, Cindy."

6. The Washington Post accidentally ran this picture with a caption referring to the breeding efforts of the Giant Pandas "Dum Dum" and "Tub Tub," but no one seemed to notice.

7. "Frankly, Cin', when you spend $30,000 a month having weapons-grade botulism toxin injected into your forehead, WMD just don't seem like a big deal."

8. Um, guys, the Dian Fossey documentary is on The Discovery Channel. This is obviously a scene from The View.

9. Pelosi wasn't sure what the appeal of 'bumping doughnuts was,' but she wanted to make Cindy happy and dispatched an intern the Krispy Kreme.

10. Just as Ted Kennedy drunkenly slurs 'Obama' into 'Osama,' Pelosi could not help herself from referring to her guest as 'Cindy Sh*thead.'

Best of Tomslick
The 2 finalists for lead singer of the band Slunt pose for the cameras.

Best of Van Helsing
All the other girls were asked to dance. The bitterness festered until Nancy and Cindy became transformed into moonbats.

Best of jeff
(identical thought by both) "She's touching me - I told my assistant not to let her touch me!

Best of moshingiv4k
Thanks, eHarmony

"Well, Nancy, if the definition of a gentleman is a man who puts the used condom in an ashtray when he's done, then, yes, Hugo is a gentleman."

Best of Jason
I don't know about you guys, but I keep my pets off of my furniture.

Bertha's bridesmaids stop for a photo-op.

Best of Son Of The Godfather
...And in this corner, The Plastic Politician and the Marauding Mourner...

In my "happy world", they're sitting on a "Venus fly-couch".


Best of racerboy
Oooh, ooh, I know this one!Tammy Faye and Ernest Borgnine... in the Conservatory... with a bowl of Maui Wowie!

Best of Frank IBC
Sen. Robert Byrd was taken off the Wilson/Plame investigation due to his consistent and shocking inability to pronounce "Niger" correctly.

Best of sonicfrog
"Wonder Twin Powers Activate!!!"
Form of -- a sour, dour, depressing, pessimistic, moonbat, anti-Bush crusader!
Hey -- that's my SuperPower!!!

I wish I knew how to quit me...
Yeah. Me too... (sigh)

Best of champaignken
Reason's number 1 and 2 why I am so happy to be gay!

Source: SheehanWatch

22 comments:

attmay said...

Why Disney won't make a direct-to-video sequel to Home on the Range.

Tomslick said...

The 2 finalists for lead singer of the band Slunt pose for the cameras.

David Simon said...

A nationwide search to find someone illiterate and dim-witted enough to be Cindy Sheehan's understudy finally comes to fruition.

David Simon said...

"Hunger strike? No dear, I much prefer lipo and bulemia."

Van Helsing said...

All the other girls were asked to dance. The bitterness festered until Nancy and Cindy became transformed into moonbats.

jeff said...

(identical thought by both) "She's touching me - I told my assistant not to let her touch me!

moshingiv4k said...

Thanks, eHarmony

Jason said...

Congresswoman Pelosi vehemently denied any connection between Cindy Sheehan and the Democratic Party. Ms. Sheehan echoed her statement.

Jason said...

I don't know about you guys, but I keep my pets off of my furniture.

Jason said...

Bertha's bridesmaids stop for a photo-op.

Son Of The Godfather said...

...And in this corner, The Plastic Politician and the Marauding Mourner...

V, your #3 is soda-through-the-nose good!

Son Of The Godfather said...

In my "happy world", they're sitting on a "Venus fly-couch".

Son Of The Godfather said...

Why did the photographer opt to use his "stupid-wastes-of-skin" lens?

Son Of The Godfather said...

"Nancy... I don't know how to tell you this, but I... I've met someone else... Hugo treats me right, and he washes his vagina."

Man, even I'm sorry I wrote that one!

Son Of The Godfather said...

I guess it's considered "fair use" for V the K to borrow Wikipedia's pic entry for "Fugly".

moshingiv4k said...

"Well, Nancy, if the definition of a gentleman is a man who puts the used condom in an ashtray when he's done, then, yes, Hugo is a gentleman."

Jason said...

Whoa, is it Thursday already?

racerboy said...

Oooh, ooh, I know this one!

Tammy Faye and Ernest Borgnine... in the Conservatory... with a bowl of Maui Wowie!

Frank IBC said...

Just as Ted Kennedy drunkenly slurs 'Obama' into 'Osama,' Pelosi could not help herself from referring to her guest as 'Cindy Sh*thead.'

Sen. Robert Byrd was taken off the Wilson/Plame investigation due to his consistent and shocking inability to pronounce "Niger" correctly.

sonicfrog said...

"Wonder Twin Powers Activate!!!"

Form of -- a sour, dour, depressing, pessimistic, moonbat, anti-Bush crusader!

Hey -- that's my SuperPower!!!

sonicfrog said...

I wish I knew how to quit me...

Yeah. Me too... (sigh)

champaignken said...

Two good reasons to support abortion rights in the US.

Nancy Pelosi's thought bubble: Now I have to have this couch burned!

Reason's number 1 and 2 why I am so happy to be gay!