Tuesday, July 11, 2006

President Evil

1. "Now, Show Me the Friggin' Sharks with Friggin' Laser Beams on their heads."

2*. Elaine still wasn't sure if the president was 'spongeworthy.'

3. "I agree, the plastic surgery was a complete success. I totally didn't know it was you, Kenny Boy."

4. "Sorry about the lab coat, Mr President, but here at Vandalay Industries, we have to keep clean conditions."

5. "So, you see, Mr. President, the rabbit cage didn't bend at all when we burned up a Tester's model airplane soaked in kerosene in it. Therefore, the twin towers had to be brought down in a controlled demolition."

6. "And once you lifted the ban on stem cell research, 'Live Organ Transplants' were a natural extension..."

7. "And this is the lab where the radioactive spider developed super-powers after biting Dick Cheney."

8. "Stop breaking character! Mean nurses don't laugh!"

9. "It is unfortunate that animals have suffer, Mr. President, but would you want to live in a world where Arianna Huffington doesn't wear make-up?"

10. "Sorry Mr. President, I don't have a square to spare."


Lifted from: Knowledge Is Power.

* I don't consider Seinfeld references obscure, but just in case, click here.

22 comments:

Cybrludite said...

Where were scientists like her when I was taking lab?

The Man said...

Now I will show you the punch-resistant Florida ballots left over from the 2000 election. Then we will tour Karl Rove's weather generator.

Van Helsing said...

"No, Mr. President. Mr. Lay did not complain about having 'such fat legs' after we transplanted his mind into Hillary's body."

Mr. Right said...

"Good morning, President Kent. You know, you look a little familiar. Would you mind taking the glasses off for a moment?"

Mr. Right said...

"Let me guess... All you can eat barbecue rib night at the Sizzler!"

racerboy said...

What do you mean this isn't a Strip-O-Gram?

Mr. Right said...

"Now, Mein F├╝hrer, if you'll observe Mr. Dean closely on the live feed from the Iowa caucuses on the viewscreen, I'll activate Dr. Rove's mindray... and voila! Let's see anyone take him seriously again after THAT!"

Mr. Right said...

While Al Gore continues his fruitless attempts to scare people with his new movie, President Bush solves the global warming problem in under ten minutes in a high school chemistry lab...

Mr. Right said...

"Yes, Mr. President, I assure you... we are working around the clock to develop a spray-on deodorant strong enough to knock the funk off of Cindy Sheehan from 100 yards out!"

divine miss m said...

"So, if there's anything I can do for you -- or, more to the point, to you -- you just let me know."

andthenblammo! said...

"What? What?!! I asked her if she wanted to meet Big Dick and the twins! After all, Cheney, Barb and Jenna are right outside in the limo!"

Silhouette said...

Bush and Dr. Iva take a moment during the demonstration of the x-ray vision goggles to laugh at some of the underwear choices of the press corp.

nevergrewup said...

"Dick said she gives the best Prostate Exam you will ever get, and by golly he sure was right. I don't know weather to have a smoke, or knit a scarf."

Silhouette said...

Previously, on ER...

"Dr. Walker, here comes a multiple trama GSW chem-7 WD-40."
"Yes. Um...stat!"

Jonathan said...

"Mr. President, I don't know where Luke Perry is, and for the last damned time: I'm NOT Shannon Doherty!"

Submariner said...

ORA:

So, Dr. Emmanuelle 27, when will Cheney 7 be "ready?"

Submariner said...

All I can tell you Andie is that it seems like just yesterday that I was hopeless and stepping in front of trains because I had nothing to live for...

Submariner said...

So where do you keep the tin foil hats?

Submariner said...

Y'know? Avalon Manor is a lot whiter than I was led to believe...

Submariner said...

But I will get Laura, too, right? OK

Submariner said...

Posted that you were one of his girlfriends and you froze 'im, eh? I guess that means I can call off the FBI search for Prough91...

Submariner said...

Yes, Helen, I can now confirm that she is, in fact, a "man-eater." Next question.