Sunday, July 30, 2006

The Phone Is Once Again Your Friend

1. "Yeah, the terrorists just set off a nuke, and I'm like so, whatever..."

2. "Nope, we're just guarding these shopping carts. No illicit drug sales going on here, officer. Oh, wait, you're cool? OK, how 'bout a dimebag then?"

3. "This is only, like, the lamest flashmob ever!"

4. Typical Day at the Supermarket, women jabbering into cell phones while the men watch a cripple fight.

5. "Hey, Ma! Ma! Hey! Stop giving Billy cigarette burns for talkin' back and get your ass down to the Safeway and pick me up! I'm like, the only white girl here!"

6. "Don't worry, ma, I'll be home just as quick as I can find a 21 year old to buy for me."

7. "Can I call you back? Mr Schwarzburger just gave Mel Gibson the wrong change. This should be interesting."

Hat Tip: Silhouette
Source

12 comments:

Submariner said...

I don't know; the perp seemed a bit taller than this line-up...

Submariner said...

What Tarique's stable lacked in looks, they made up for in enthusiasm and volume...

Submariner said...

"What I did on my summer vacation" by Dawn...

Submariner said...

Girls? You best be waltzin' yo meal-tickets down to Avalon Manor and be cuttin' in on that action...

Jonathan said...

"Don't look away, Tyrone! I heard you sing 'Little in the middle, but she got much back!'"

Jonathan said...

"Feminem" decided to try her luck down at the Safeway on Eight Mile.

Jonathan said...

"I swear, Sheniqua, if I hear Heather say 'homies' or 'peeps' one more time, I'm gonna pop a cap in her French vanilla #ss!"

prince of leaves said...

"Uh-huh...hmm...yuh...hm-hmm...uh-huh...nawwwwwww...mmm-hmm...umm...yeah...hm-unh..."

prince of leaves said...

These women were later dismayed when their own teenage children withdrew from the physical world into the ceaseless content-free chatterworld of their direct-communication brain implants.

prince of leaves said...

Cyrus's thought bubble: "Maaaaan, look at these damn chicks, with they damn cellphones glued to they damn heads! Can't go five minutes without yappin' to someone about nothing. Technology, feh. That Unabomber guy, he was onto something, know what I'm sayin'?"

prince of leaves said...

A poster print of eyewitnesses to a supermarket stabbing spree -- yours for only $29.95 from The Commercial Appeal! They make great gifts.

Submariner said...

So which Clinton are you tele-applying to intern for?