Friday, July 07, 2006

Navel Maneuvers


1. Vladimir Putin Welcomes a Young Boy to Russian Soccer Camp.

2. "Big deal," sniffed Barney Frank. "I once had a seven year old with the body of a six year old."

3. "Like who hasn't drank vodka shots from the navel of a six-year-old boy," Johnny Weir sniffed.

4. "Pinch my tits! Oh, gawd, yes! yes!"

5. "Why don't you ever want to cuddle?"

6. "Aw, Uncle Vladimir, I don't wanna play 'UN Peacekeeper' any more."

7. "Hold still kid, I've never done a navel piercing before."

8. Noticing the camera, Putin quickly called out, "Now, turn your head and cough!"

9. Concerned for the well-being of Russian youth, President Vladimir Putin personally "tastes-test" every one to screen for colon cancer.

10. Putin buys himself time by distracting the Grim Specter of Death long enough for the photographer to crop him, and thus deprive him of his power.

Best of Son Of The Godfather
"Dude, I know I'm a cute kid, but pop that tongue back in or lose it!"

Best of Submariner
Putie-poot's thought bubble: "Little Bastidge stepped in front of his sister just as I was "goin' in!" Oh well, I gotta make the most of it..."

I'll have his liver with fava beans and a nice chianti...

Best of Frank IBC
A few seconds later, Sasha put both of his hands on the top of Mr. Putin's head and gave a steady downward push.

The car carrying the "dead" Ken Lay had just arrived at the Politburo building. Unfortunately, the building had no inside entrances for cars, therefore Lay would be visible as he walked the 30 feet from the car to the main entrance. At the last moment, President Putin thoought of a diabolically clever diversion which saved the day.
Best of Silhouette
"Havin' my baby. What a lovely way of sayin' how much you love me."

Best of David Simon
Aleksei is too young to have a trail, but Vlad found his way there nonetheless.

"Mr. Putin, for an ex-KGB man, you're a tad light in the loafers.

"Whoa. I donned my best come hither half top for Michael Jackson, not you, horseshoe head."

Best of Mr. Right
"Hold still, Little Neo, he's attempting to remove the bug. This might hurt a little..."

Полученное молоко?

"A little lower there, Comrade... and don't you think you should at least buy me an ice cream sundae first?"

Best of prince of leaves
While Vlad eyebrow wasn't as long or fat as Brezhnev's, he made up for his inadequacy through enthusiasm and an exhibitionist kink.

"Ooh, you're so gentle, Mr. Putin...not at all like that Zhirinovsky..."



AP Photo/RTR-Russian Television Channel

35 comments:

Adjustah said...

Putin tried to convince the Press that he does indeed, "have the heart of a small child"...

Van Helsing said...

Among the many skills Putin learned in the KGB was making fart noises by blowing with his mouth against other people's bellies.

Son Of The Godfather said...

Strasvutya!... Gavaritya pa pervert?

Son Of The Godfather said...

"Dude, I know I'm a cute kid, but pop that tongue back in or lose it!"

Submariner said...

Vlad the P. didn't quite master using Fat Bastardd's shtick and tried to get in the belly of little one's along the way, amusing only himself.


morning SOTG. Finally escaped, eh?

Submariner said...

Putie-poot's thought bubble: "Little Bastidge stepped in front of his sister just as I was "goin' in!" Oh well, I gotta make the most of it..."

Submariner said...

Boy at left's thought bubble; "I'm next! If he stays at that level, I get my first bj, yeah!"

Submariner said...

KGB: Nothin' to see here, the Pres is simply checking for pierced nipples. Please move along... (at least all of you adults)

Frank IBC said...

More caption fodder:

http://media.washingtonpost.com/wp-srv/photo/homepage/hp7-6-06mm.jpg

Frank IBC said...

Not a caption, but a comment: He reminds me of my kitten (9 weeks old) who attempts to nurse from my man-boobs every time I leave my shirt off when I'm lying down.

Son Of The Godfather said...

Not escaped just yet, amigo... Diggin the tunnel to freedom as I type though! ;)

Submariner said...

Vlad the P. auditions for the part of Smoochy.

Frank IBC said...

A few seconds later, Sasha put both of his hands on the top of Mr. Putin's head and gave a steady downward push.

V the K said...

Editor's Note: As a matter of policy, future references to Frank's man-boobs will probably be deleted at the editor's discretion.

sonicfrog said...

"Hey, wait Mister! You're not Michael Jackson!!!

Silhouette said...

"Havin' my baby. What a lovely way of sayin' how much you love me."

Adjustah said...

Baron Harkonnen stops for a quick snack...

Submariner said...

Making fun of a state leader saving plebian lives - removing snake-bite venom the old fashioned way! Nice. Read his story. Edumacate yourselves. Morons.

Submariner said...

I'll have his liver with fava beans and a nice chianti...

David Simon said...

Aleksei is too young to have a trail, but Vlad found his way there nonetheless.

Silhouette said...

"I'll be honest, I felt an urge to squeeze him like a kitten and that led to the gesture that I made."

Oh wait, that is what Putin really said.

lawhawk said...

Next up on Oprah, the author of Joys of Pedophelia, Revised and Updated, Vlad Putin.

David Simon said...

"Uh, Mr. Putin, I don't mean to be rude, but for an ex-KGB man, you're a tad light in the loafers.

David Simon said...

"Whoa. I donned my best come hither half top for Michael Jackson, not you, horseshoe head."

David Simon said...

Kid on the left: "Oh sh*t, I've got an outie and I've left my shirt untucked. I'm on a one-way trip to Siberia."

Mr. Right said...

"Hold still, Little Neo, he's attempting to remove the bug. This might hurt a little..."

Mr. Right said...

Got milk?

Mr. Right said...

Полученное молоко?

[Got milk in Russian. Gotta love BabelFish!]

Mr. Right said...

"A little lower there, Comrade... and don't you think you should at least buy me an ice cream sundae first?"

Frank IBC said...

The car carrying the "dead" Ken Lay had just arrived at the Politburo building. Unfortunately, the building had no inside entrances for cars, therefore Lay would be visible as he walked the 30 feet from the car to the main entrance.

At the last moment, President Putin thoought of a diabolically clever diversion which saved the day.

prince of leaves said...

Following the publication of this photograph, the Kremlin reinstituted strict controls on the press not seen since Stalin's time.

prince of leaves said...

In a rarely seen Kremlin ritual, Vlad Putin marks his future successor, just as Leonid Brezhnev had marked him as a boy.

prince of leaves said...

While Vlad eyebrow wasn't as long or fat as Brezhnev's, he made up for his inadequacy through enthusiasm and an exhibitionist kink.

prince of leaves said...

"Ooh, you're so gentle, Mr. Putin...not at all like that Zhirinovsky..."

V the K said...

Putin would later claim he was only protecting the child from a deranged Debbie Frisch