Friday, July 07, 2006
1. Vladimir Putin Welcomes a Young Boy to Russian Soccer Camp.
2. "Big deal," sniffed Barney Frank. "I once had a seven year old with the body of a six year old."
3. "Like who hasn't drank vodka shots from the navel of a six-year-old boy," Johnny Weir sniffed.
4. "Pinch my tits! Oh, gawd, yes! yes!"
5. "Why don't you ever want to cuddle?"
6. "Aw, Uncle Vladimir, I don't wanna play 'UN Peacekeeper' any more."
7. "Hold still kid, I've never done a navel piercing before."
8. Noticing the camera, Putin quickly called out, "Now, turn your head and cough!"
9. Concerned for the well-being of Russian youth, President Vladimir Putin personally "tastes-test" every one to screen for colon cancer.
10. Putin buys himself time by distracting the Grim Specter of Death long enough for the photographer to crop him, and thus deprive him of his power.
Best of Son Of The Godfather
"Dude, I know I'm a cute kid, but pop that tongue back in or lose it!"
Best of Submariner
Putie-poot's thought bubble: "Little Bastidge stepped in front of his sister just as I was "goin' in!" Oh well, I gotta make the most of it..."
I'll have his liver with fava beans and a nice chianti...
Best of Frank IBC
A few seconds later, Sasha put both of his hands on the top of Mr. Putin's head and gave a steady downward push.
The car carrying the "dead" Ken Lay had just arrived at the Politburo building. Unfortunately, the building had no inside entrances for cars, therefore Lay would be visible as he walked the 30 feet from the car to the main entrance. At the last moment, President Putin thoought of a diabolically clever diversion which saved the day.
Best of Silhouette
"Havin' my baby. What a lovely way of sayin' how much you love me."
Best of David Simon
Aleksei is too young to have a trail, but Vlad found his way there nonetheless.
"Mr. Putin, for an ex-KGB man, you're a tad light in the loafers.
"Whoa. I donned my best come hither half top for Michael Jackson, not you, horseshoe head."
Best of Mr. Right
"Hold still, Little Neo, he's attempting to remove the bug. This might hurt a little..."
"A little lower there, Comrade... and don't you think you should at least buy me an ice cream sundae first?"
Best of prince of leaves
While Vlad eyebrow wasn't as long or fat as Brezhnev's, he made up for his inadequacy through enthusiasm and an exhibitionist kink.
"Ooh, you're so gentle, Mr. Putin...not at all like that Zhirinovsky..."
AP Photo/RTR-Russian Television Channel