1. "You get down right now, young lady. That's Senator Byrd's favorite Lynching Tree."
2. I think that I shall never see / a moonbat smarter than a tree /
3. Isolated from her drumming circle, the treed moonbat is helpless against predators. Death comes swiftly.
4. "That leprechaun will never get me Lucky Charms up here."
5. "That bastard lied! Valium doesn't grow on trees."
6. "Half a hit of acid, and she spends a week thinking she's a tree sloth. Lightweight!"
7. A lawyer from the ACLU serves Billy's tree house with a subpeona for its "No Girls Allowed" policy.
8. Her gynecologist was stumped by her repeated Dutch Elm disease infections.
9. "Wow! That was some accident. Good thing I was thrown clear."
10. "What? You're not Al Gore? You lied just to get into my pants? You bastard!"
Best of Submariner
♪Listen children to a story, that was written long ago;
'bout a queendom in a pine tree and the logger folk below.♪
Definitely a pine; see the way the sap is backing up on that branch?
Ennui - why won't you release me?
Tamika keeps telling me how much pleasure that "big woodies" give her. I just don't get it; this is the largest tree I can find, I've been at it for 45 minutes, and all I've gotten is chapped thighs from the bark...
Best of Jonathan Leffingwell
And now, a sneak preview of "Nell 2"...
"And I'm not coming down until I see that 'ManBearPig' that everyone's talking about!"
Smelly Hooker Pirate joins the Earth Liberation Front.
Best of jeff
"I can't come down... the (ah!) ants have finally reached the right spot... "
Best of Occasional Reader
Tragically--and, let's be frank, rather ironically--Ms. DeMauro was eventually torn to pieces by an enraged spotted owl.
Best of Rodney Dill
Let's see him try and piss on me up here.
Best of Dwight The Troubled Teen
In Daryl Hannah's defense, she wasn't really protesting anything. Jackson Browne just bitch-slapped her so hard that she flew seventeen feet into a Douglas Fir.
Source: Boston Globe