Tuesday, July 25, 2006

Futile, Misguided Attempt to Out-Gay Soccer

1. Sully on Ice, coming soon to a minor league hockey rink near you.

2. "Hey, Ow! I don't like playing 'George Bush and Al Green on Ice'."

3. "You know how I can tell you're gay? Because you stroke my cheek oh-so-tenderly."

4. "What crawled up your ass and died. Oh, wait, I remember."

5. "Yar, matey, prepare to be boarded!" Butt-Pirates on Ice is fun for the whole family.

6. "Silly goose, it's not really called a 'Zamboner'."

7. "Getting your PA caught in my pearls during the triple Selchow is going to cost us points."

8. As they glided over the ice, the schoolyard taunts of the kids who used to pound the crap out of them seemed long ago and far away to Pedro and Leon.

Best of divine miss m
Johnny Weir could be seen along the boards crying into his sleeve, wildly waving the business cards of three trusted wardrobe stylists.

Best of Son Of The Godfather
I'm buying 20 tickets for Fred Phelps and his clan immediately after typing this.

Yuri congratulates Stephan upon completion of the rarely performed flaming triple gerbil.

Best of Submariner
Dave Schultz was so embarassed by his son that he quit attending games. (But he readily admitted his son was the better skater...)

Johnny Weir mused, if i wear my white gossamer costume we could look just like an Oreo cookie; and I'd be the double-stuffed kind...

I'm gonna call you "Campbell's" cause you're "Mmm-mmm-good!"

Y'know? A komrade kould drown in those eyes of yours, Kos...

Coming soon to a Disney theater near you - Ang Lee remakes "Ice Princess."

Best of Rodney Dill
Though with Ralph now, Ernie's thoughts kept returning to Ronoldo and what might have been.

Best of sonicfrog
Oh, I didn't know Tanya Harding was skating again?

Best of Dusty
To kick off Fox's new season of "Celebrity Ice Dancing" here are Larry the Cable Guy and Alex Baldwin!

Best of Zeke
Though often confused as lovers, these two brothers worked hard to overcome their situation and finally earned a spot on the "blue collar comedy tour"

Trackback: The Nose on yer Face

22 comments:

divine miss m said...

Johnny Weir could be seen along the boards crying into his sleeve, wildly waving the business cards of three trusted wardrobe stylists.

Son Of The Godfather said...

I'm buying 20 tickets for Fred Phelps and his clan immediately after typing this.

Son Of The Godfather said...

Yuri congratulates Stephan upon completion of the rarely performed flaming triple gerbil.

Son Of The Godfather said...

No, Submariner, I don't want to go with you to the "Sassy-capades". ;)

Submariner said...

Dave Schultz was so embarassed by his son that he quit attending games. (But he readily admitted his son was the better skater...)

Submariner said...

No more getting frisky on ice, hon. Getting doused and THEN freezing like that? Not fun!




Mornin' SOTG, welcome back.

Submariner said...

Look at that l'il punim; so precious! Don't drop me again or it'll look like a skate rest.

Submariner said...

Tony Soprano's oldest boy and "friend" perform their latest show - "Guido's on Ice."

Submariner said...

And when I do the high-speed spin I dig an ice-hole; you can help me plug it later...

Submariner said...

Johnny Weir mused, if i wear my white gossamer costume we could look just like an Oreo cookie; and I'd be the double-stuffed kind...

Rodney Dill said...

"A very nice performance."
"...and this time no stains on the costume."

Rodney Dill said...

Though with Ralph now, Ernie's thoughts kept returning to Ronoldo and what might have been.

Submariner said...

ORA:

Stoney: "The truth is bro, life's about greasin' the do back, buddy, and weasin' on the buff-fest, man. High school was interesting, all right? It was kinda like a harsh ride... ahhh, ahhh, owwww, owwww! We're going on to bigger and better things, buddy!"
Dave: "Stoney, I am on to bigger and better things!

Submariner said...

Wanna come over after the show? Drink a little wine, use the Vodaphone, share a little whine...

sonicfrog said...

Oh, I didn't know Tanya Harding was skating again?

Submariner said...

I'm gonna call you "Campbell's" cause you're "Mmm-mmm-good!"

Submariner said...

Y'know? A komrade kould drown in those eyes of yours, Kos...

Dusty said...

To kick off Fox's new season of "Celebrity Ice Dancing" here are Larry the Cable Guy and Alex Baldwin!

Submariner said...

The "Gore and Kerry, DNC Also-Rans on Ice" extravaganza only got consignment booked in a few blue states. It then folded after its primary review.

Submariner said...

Coming soon to a Disney theater near you - Ang Lee remakes "Ice Princess."

Zeke said...

Though often confused as lovers, these two brothers worked hard to overcome their situation and finally earned a spot on the "blue collar comedy tour"

WhoopsieDaisey said...

Angola discovers "Ice Dancing."