Monday, July 24, 2006

Even an Enormous, Terrifying Womanoid Needs a Little Lovin' Sometimes

1. Greg Louganis and Neil Patrick Harris star in Andrew Sullivan's 'The Blue Brokeback Lagoon,' next on Bravo.

2. Love and the Enormous Terrifying Womanoid, a Harlequin Romance classic, now in paperback.

3. "Aw, crap, a beached whale just walked by with her left knocker hanging down to her waist. I'm gonna need two doses of V1@gr@ and a fifth of Jack to finish this."

4. Tasha Yar has really let herself go. Chakotay looks great, though.

5. On a very special Saved by the Bell, Zach gets the operation that transforms him into the woman of his dreams. He promptly deflowers Slater.

6. The Lady of the Lake gets down with King Arthur in Penetrado Productions Sexcalibur.

7. "Brigitte, as soon as I saw you crush that watermelon between your thighs, I knew you were the only woman for me."

8. Unfortunately both were wiped out when she thought her French boyfriend was saying "Soon, ami," instead of "Tsunami."

Best of Submariner
Just tell Grandma you missed dinner with her because you were busy enjoying the sunset as the bottom for a transgendered Billy Idol wannabe, in a wedding gown, wearing a 14" strap-on. She won't understand but she'll be too flabbergasted to hold it against you...

D@mn! Ain't nothin' better'n a nice tight Angolan after the game...

I guess girls, no, boys, no, uh, well... ♪The confused just wanna have fun, confused just wanna have fun.♪

Best of jeff
"Hon - quit pushing - my briefs are scraping off and I'm getting grass up my crack."

Best of Adjustah
Flavor Flav couldn't believe that he was having this nightmare yet again...

Best of prince of leaves
And now...the SciFi Channel Original Movie..."The Mer-Bride Had Man-Hands"

To top off the romantic day, they made the Beast With Two Curiously Broad Backs on the beach at sunset.

Best of Anonymous
If your girlfriend has large hands, or a pronounced adams apple, she might not be your girlfriend...

Best of David Simon
Dessi wanted a woman who is a little more femme, but Grace Jones is already spoken for.

Imagine Dessi's shock when he tried to consummate the marriage, but ended up getting into a sword fight.

Brigitte is mounting, and Dessi is spreading his legs...well, one can hardly blame them for being confused.

Best of Silhouette
Worst. York Peppermint Pattie. Commercial. Ever.

Best of Rodney Dill
...and now in the About as Likely as a Hezbollah/Israel Reconciliation category.

Best of Cybrludite
♪Sweet mystery of life, at last I found you...♪

Best of the paperboy
When your Male Order Russian Bride comes (and his name is Ivan)

Best of the paperboy
Up on this next hill, we'll see the ruins of a fourteenth century watchtower where... oh my... what a beautiful sunset!

Hat Tip: Tess Turbo
Source: Soylent Green

32 comments:

Jason said...

Holy crap! I can't think of a single Andrew Sullivan caption.

Jason said...

SOTG thinks its Thursday.

jeff said...

"Hon - quit pushing - my briefs are scraping off and I'm getting grass up my crack."

"Curse that photographer - these grass stains won't come out!"

"My mother loved your dress - but she wasn't so hot on my tux..."

Adjustah said...

Flavor Flav couldn't believe that he was having this nightmare yet again...

prince of leaves said...

And now...the SciFi Channel Original Movie..."The Mer-Bride Had Man-Hands"

prince of leaves said...

To top off the romantic day, they made the Beast With Two Curiously Broad Backs on the beach at sunset.

prince of leaves said...

Obscure Greek Mythology Reference: Another doomed Greek sailor about to discover the peril of the Siren's song.

prince of leaves said...

Obscure Greek Mythology Reference: Orpheus gives music lessons.

Anonymous said...

If your girlfriend has large hands, or a pronounced adams apple, she might not be your girlfriend...

David Simon said...

Dessi wanted a woman who is a little more femme, but Grace Jones is already spoken for.

David Simon said...

If you thought nagging, bitching and irrational mood swings were bad, just think: Dessi gets the sh*t kicked out of him every month.

David Simon said...

Imagine Dessi's shock when he tried to consummate the marriage, but ended up getting into a sword fight.

David Simon said...

Brigitte is mounting, and Dessi is spreading his legs...well, one can hardly blame them for being confused.

David Simon said...

For some reason, People thought that a typical summer sunset in Provincetown was newsworthy.

David Simon said...

Andrew Sullivan said: "What kind of bigot would protest a love so pure, pristine and lovely? Who could deny these rapturous beings the right to marry? Bushitler, and the evil Rethuglicans, that's who. The conservative theocrats want to amend....oh, that's a chick?! Nevermind."

Silhouette said...

ORA -

Quinn, Wade, and the other Sliders never guessed that this slide was actually NOT to a parallel world, but home.

Silhouette said...

Worst. York Peppermint Pattie. Commercial. Ever.

Rodney Dill said...

...and now in the About as Likely as a Hezbollah/Israel Reconciliation category.

Cybrludite said...

♪Sweet mystery of life, at last I found you...♪

Submariner said...

Barney Frank was aghast - "Tighty whities?!?"

Submariner said...

Smoochy said; "It was sort of like an accident along the highway - I didn't really want to watch, but I couldn't turn away...

Submariner said...

Well! I guess we know what Sly Stallone saw in Brigitte now, don't we!

Submariner said...

D@mn! Ain't nothin' better'n a nice tight Angolan after the game...

sonicfrog said...

Gayngels!

Submariner said...

I guess girls, no, boys, no, uh, well...

♪The confused just wanna have fun, confused just wanna have fun.♪

MP Martin said...

When your Male Order Russian Bride comes (and his name is Ivan)

MP Martin said...

"Bridgette, please, there's mosquitoes out here!"
"Oh, is that what that is? A mosquitoe?"

MP Martin said...

Up on this next hill, we'll see the ruins of a fourteenth century watchtower where... oh my... what a beautiful sunset!

David Simon said...

Y'know, it wouldn't suprise me if Sly and Gastineau were bottoms too.

Cybrludite said...

Android Woman - Plug 'n' play, and ready to please
Android Woman - Press a button and she's on her knees
She's just an Android... Woman! - Made of metal, to serve man
Android Woman - Can she rock you, why yes she can!♪

Submariner said...

Raplhie's daydreams of "getting a girl just like the girl that married dear old dad" didn't quite come to fruition; but he did.

Submariner said...

Just tell Grandma you missed dinner with her because you were busy enjoying the sunset as the bottom for a transgendered Billy Idol wannabe, in a wedding gown, wearing a 14" strap-on. She won't understand but she'll be too flabbergasted to hold it against you...