Wednesday, July 26, 2006

Dead Man Walking (Insha Allah)

1. An embarrassed Sheik Hassan Nasrallah nervously explains to the paparazzi what he was doing in the bushes with George Michael.

2. "Bahrain has responded to our pleas for assistance, Michael Jackson is sending two dozen pre-teen boys for use as human shields."

3. "Just let me dab some make-up over the three sixes."

4. "Christine Amanpour --- done her.... Andrea Mitchell --- done her... Helen Thomas --- did a goat that looked like her... Tim Llewellyn, ha! he wishes!..."

5. He denounces Christians. He opposes the War in Iraq. He hates Bush. He looks fabulous in black. Kos has found his dream candidate for 2008.

6. "Chirac was with who? That bitch!"

7. By 2008, Pat Buchanan was way off the Republican reservation.

8. "I am not a sock-puppet for Iran. Being fisted by Ahmadinejad is but one of the many glories of Jihad!"

Best of Shayne
"Yes, I find that Sheehan woman to be HOT!"

Best of Jonathan H
"No, we are not getting our asses kicked! What? Why am I sweating so much? Well it's not because I'm lying!"

Best of Cybrludite
Hang on. I missed a spot cleaning up after the bukkake session earlier...

The reason for the goofy grin? The bodybuilder in the blue bikini is currently giving him a vigorous rodgering with a 14" vibrating strap-on. Using Tabasco® for a lube.

Best of David Simon
Sheik Nasrallah reacts to the news that his favorite 'N Sync boy is a poofter.

Best of Silhouette
"And those are the reasons I hope you will vote for me as your next homecoming queen."

Best of The Man
After days of airstrikes, we still have power and airconditioning. How about you infidels in Queens? No?

Uhh, the Lance Bass tattoo on my left thigh? Uhhh I have no idea what you are talking about.

Best of Submariner
How can I sell an entire Beirut apartment complex for only $19.95? Because I'm Hassan and I'm Insane!

"Next up on 'The Factor,' DNC presidential nominee hopeful Dick Durbin answers my questions on his Iraq policy..."

Best of sonicfrog
♫ Traveling in a fried-out combie
On a hippie trail, head full of zombie
I met a strange lady
She made me nervous... ♫

Best of prince of leaves
"...and we won't stop until we murder every Jew in the wor-- (Oh, wait, are these microphones on?) I mean, uh, yeah, we want justice, and uh, an end to the disproportionate violence against, uh, our women and children...yeah...that's it..."

Best of Mr. Right
"Ahmed, Rasheed, and a slightly used GE Extra-White 100-Watt Bulb..."
(Rip) (Poof)
"Name three things from Pakistan that have penetrated your rectum in the last 24 hours."



Hat tip: LFG

35 comments:

Shayne said...

"Yes, I find that Sheehan woman to be HOT!"

Jonathan H said...

"No, we are not getting our asses kicked! What? Why am I sweating so much? Well it's not because I'm lying!"

Cybrludite said...

Hang on. I missed a spot cleaning up after the bukkake session earlier...

David Simon said...

Sheik Nasrallah reacts to the news that his favorite 'N Sync boy is a poofter.

Silhouette said...

"And those are the reasons I hope you will vote for me as your next homecoming queen."

Silhouette said...

"Uh, did you say the Israeli news organization wired this last microphone with the blue wire?"

Silhouette said...

Nasrallah's Carnac The Magnificent imitation sucked.

jbinnout said...

Jihadon, applied directly to the forhead!
Jihadon, applied directly to the forhead!
Jihadon, applied directly to the forhead!

Ok, now can we push the button?

Cybrludite said...

The reason for the goofy grin? The bodybuilder in the blue bikini is currently giving him a vigorous rodgering with a 14" vibrating strap-on. Using Tabasco® for a lube.

Cybrludite said...

Looks like someone's been taking an earthly advance on those 72 virgins...

The Man said...

After days of airstrikes, we still have power and airconditioning. How about you infidels in Queens? No?

The Man said...

Uhh, the Lance Bass tattoo on my left thigh? Uhhh I have no idea what you are talking about.

lawhawk said...

When they said Damascus is hell on earth, they weren't kidding.

Let this be a lesson to you; this is what happens when ask what Ahmadinejad is gonna do on August 22.

Submariner said...

I looked up "Shi-ite eating grin" in my Funk and Wagnall's and found this picture...

Submariner said...

ORA:

So long and thanks for all the fish.

Submariner said...

de plane, boss!
de bombs, boss!
de >>!BOOM!<<



verification word - geekls

Submariner said...

Uh, no thank you; we really don't need Chuck Norris and Toby Keith to help broker the peace efforts...
(But if you want to send Natalie Maines, that's another matter!)

Submariner said...

Jimmuh, my old friend! Come, let us sit in the tent and have Fatima perform the veils dance for you again...

Submariner said...

How can I sell an entire Beirut apartment complex for only $19.95? Because I'm Hassan and I'm Insane!

Submariner said...

You said my jury consists of Ben-Gurion, Sharon, Netanyahu, Horowitz, Goldstein, Harel, Levi, Mordechai, Weizman, Siegel, Goldberg, and Gershon?

divine miss m said...

Submariner, if you're still looking for a place to leave your goat, have it head-butt this guy's @$$ all across the middle east!

Robert said...

It's gettin' hot in here, so take off all your clothes....
I am gettin' so hot, I wanna take my clothes off.

Robert said...

That picture above me makes me feel tingly.

Silhouette said...

"We are, uh, not thirsty."

/Nazi from Raiders

(It isn't funny but I hear it in my head every time I look at that pic.)

Submariner said...

Bill O'Reilly; "Next up on 'The Factor,' DNC presidential nominee hopeful Dick "Turban" Durbin answers my questions on his Iraq policy..."

curly said...

Shit-for-brains Nasrallah wipes his ass.

sonicfrog said...

♫ Traveling in a fried-out combie
On a hippie trail, head full of zombie
I met a strange lady
She made me nervous... ♫

prince of leaves said...

"...and we won't stop until we murder every Jew in the wor-- (Oh, wait, are these microphones on?) I mean, uh, yeah, we want justice, and uh, an end to the disproportionate violence against, uh, our women and children...yeah...that's it..."

prince of leaves said...

Where will you be when your laxative takes effect?

Merovign said...

Just look at that face! It's Hannibal Lecter and Castor Troy all wrapped into one! I think we have our next "typecast as a drooling maniac" star right here!

tw: znuwzib (I'll bet that's a real word somewhere!)

Mr. Right said...

After accidentally wiping his forehead with the sacred white flag of the Taliban, Sheik Nasrallah was swift to order his own execution!

Mr. Right said...

Having wiped his sweaty brow on live television with the used undergarment sent to him by an adoring Mother Sheehan, a shrewd Sheik Nasrallah would soon rake in hundreds of thousands of dollars for his Jihad on e-bay!

Mr. Right said...

"Ahmed, Rasheed, and a slightly used GE Extra-White 100-Watt Bulb..."

(Rip) (Poof)

"Name three things from Pakistan that have penetrated your rectum in the last 24 hours."

Rodney Dill said...

"Ok maybe not 72, maybe not 71, maybe not 70, maybe not 69, but surely there is the promise of 68 virgins in the Koran."

Rodney Dill said...

"Oh, I am so F##ked"