1. An embarrassed Sheik Hassan Nasrallah nervously explains to the paparazzi what he was doing in the bushes with George Michael.
2. "Bahrain has responded to our pleas for assistance, Michael Jackson is sending two dozen pre-teen boys for use as human shields."
3. "Just let me dab some make-up over the three sixes."
4. "Christine Amanpour --- done her.... Andrea Mitchell --- done her... Helen Thomas --- did a goat that looked like her... Tim Llewellyn, ha! he wishes!..."
5. He denounces Christians. He opposes the War in Iraq. He hates Bush. He looks fabulous in black. Kos has found his dream candidate for 2008.
6. "Chirac was with who? That bitch!"
7. By 2008, Pat Buchanan was way off the Republican reservation.
8. "I am not a sock-puppet for Iran. Being fisted by Ahmadinejad is but one of the many glories of Jihad!"
Best of Shayne
"Yes, I find that Sheehan woman to be HOT!"
Best of Jonathan H
"No, we are not getting our asses kicked! What? Why am I sweating so much? Well it's not because I'm lying!"
Best of Cybrludite
Hang on. I missed a spot cleaning up after the bukkake session earlier...
The reason for the goofy grin? The bodybuilder in the blue bikini is currently giving him a vigorous rodgering with a 14" vibrating strap-on. Using Tabasco® for a lube.
Best of David Simon
Sheik Nasrallah reacts to the news that his favorite 'N Sync boy is a poofter.
Best of Silhouette
"And those are the reasons I hope you will vote for me as your next homecoming queen."
Best of The Man
After days of airstrikes, we still have power and airconditioning. How about you infidels in Queens? No?
Uhh, the Lance Bass tattoo on my left thigh? Uhhh I have no idea what you are talking about.
Best of Submariner
How can I sell an entire Beirut apartment complex for only $19.95? Because I'm Hassan and I'm Insane!
"Next up on 'The Factor,' DNC presidential nominee hopeful Dick Durbin answers my questions on his Iraq policy..."
Best of sonicfrog
♫ Traveling in a fried-out combie
On a hippie trail, head full of zombie
I met a strange lady
She made me nervous... ♫
Best of prince of leaves
"...and we won't stop until we murder every Jew in the wor-- (Oh, wait, are these microphones on?) I mean, uh, yeah, we want justice, and uh, an end to the disproportionate violence against, uh, our women and children...yeah...that's it..."
Best of Mr. Right
"Ahmed, Rasheed, and a slightly used GE Extra-White 100-Watt Bulb..."
"Name three things from Pakistan that have penetrated your rectum in the last 24 hours."
Hat tip: LFG