1. "Dammit, Cokie. You told Cheney you were on the pill!"
2. "Karl, your lunch is ready."
3. "Now, mercy sakes, don't spike it when you get to the End Zone."
4. "Damn, I knew that quickie in the Lincoln Bedroom with Gwen Stefani would come back to haunt me."
5. The site of a topless Ted Kennedy yelling "Get in muh bellay!" was too much for the president to take.
6. "Jeez! King Solomon made the same suggestion and people thought he was a genius. Don't you people read the Bible?"
7. "Jenna, you got some 'splainin' to do."
8. "Which one of us looks more like George Voinovich?"
9. "Ma'am, it looks like we got the baby away from Pelosi just in time, but in the future, keep your kids away from her gingerbread house."
10. "Hey, I can't run again, so I'm gonna shake this brat like an English nanny."
Best of divine miss m
Just kissing hands and shaking babies...
Best of andthenblammo!
"Wait, I'm not running for any office, am I? Lady, get this stinky lil' poop machine out of mah damn face!"
"This ain't the Baby Assad I wanted to get muh hands on! I've been hornswoggled by that damn Kofi critter for the last time!"
Best of Van Helsing
"For such a little guy, he sure can let a potent stinker."
Best of Submariner
The "other, other white meat" Idi Amin said? Uh, fergot; I have a State commitment on that dinner invite date...
Cries over everything the administration touches? check
Nothing to contribute? check
Wants someone to do everything for it? check
Full of crap? oh MY, YES! check
Gotta be a little Democrat lady.
Believe me little feller; if it was my choice I wouldn't give ya back to 'er. But Debbie Frisch's yer mom...
Best of Dwight The Troubled Teen
James Carville's boast of, "If that idjut President has the shrinking ray that he says he does, I'll be the first in line to test it out!" faded into panic as Dubya handed him back to Mary Matlin.
Later that day the press savaged Dubya's mocking of the new Democratic Mascot, Whiney McPoopflinger.
Best of champaignken
When I said to get me the spawn of Satan, I meant to get Nancy Pelosi on the phone.
President Bush tells a young Republican an scary story "in 2011 the Death Tax returns".
Best of prince of leaves
AP caption: U.S. President George W. Bush, ignoring international pleas to restrain an out of control Israel, makes innocent baby cry.
NYT caption: Sources say that the Administration's top-secret but by-the-book-legal program to infiltrate American mosques in search of radical Muslims has been a success, but that that success could be jepoardized through disclosure by the media. President Bush, busy making innocent babies cry, refused to comment on the program.
Best of Submariner
Al Jazeera caption: George Bush, spawn of Hell, killer of innocent Muslims world-wide, and ruler of the Great Satan, selects an innocent Arab baby to serve as main course during a state fete for visiting Israeli leaders.
Source: Ace of Spades