1. "And, what am I bid for the smelly she-hag on my right? A quarter? A nickel? Tickets to An Inconvenient Truth? Anything?
2. "No, Mr. Gore, that's just Cindy Sheehan. You'll have to search for ManBearPig elsewhere."
3. Being a master athlete, Kobe was able to throw the ball to the trained walrus AND pull the Ringmaster's finger simultaneously.
4. "I see there are ten flags behind me. I'll need ten volunteers with Zippos... or Bics will do."
5. James Lipton frantically tried to slide the Getty Images logo to cover Cindy's face, but alas, to no avail.
6. "Come on people, the woman lost her son to Bu$hitler's oil war for Israel. How much am I bid for one of her boogers?"
7. Air America couldn't afford a traffic helicopter, so they just had this guy beat on his chest to simulate rotor blades.
8. "And I'm very honored to have as our guest of honor... Louie Anderson!"
Best of Van Helsing
If I could just ask a volunteer from the audience to pull my finger, the amazing Mother Moonbat will demonstrate that she can catch a fart between her hands, swallow it, and blow it out her ears.
Best of sonicfrog
This never before seen picture exposes the real reason behind Ken Lay's fatal heart attack. He was heard to exclaim "I will not share my cell with that... THING" as he fell dead to the floor.
Best of Jason
You in the back! Quit calling her 'Sheehag'!
Best of Cybrludite
♪One is the lonelest number that you'll ever dooooo... c'mon everybody, clap along!♪
Best of jeff
Barack Obama says: "Nothing is more transparent than inauthentic expressions of faith: the politician who shows up at a black church around election time and claps--off rhythm--to the gospel choir." Somehow... it just seemed appropriate.
Best of divine miss m
Oh, God, I just had that bad dream again where I'm ancient, haggy, strident and hairy and I'm singing "We Shall Overcome" with an equally ancient, balding, self-righteous, impotent Submariner in front of dozens at the MoveOn.org rally...will somebody please take me back to the mudbath at the spa RIGHT @#$%ING NOW!?
Best of andthenblammo!
"I want to quote President Clinton: 'I did not have sex with that woman!' "
Hat tip: LFG