Sunday, July 23, 2006

Animal Planet Sunday

1. "So, how was your date with Mohammed?"

2. When she saw her competition, Helen Thomas realized she didn't stand a chance on The Bachelor.

3. "Well, one day, Cheney came by the zoo and I flung poop at him, of course. The Next thing I knew, Howard Dean wanted me to run for Congress. Would have won, too, if it weren't for the kiss-of-death kos endorsement."

4. "Don't worry, hon' I'm an experienced celebrity beautician. Lenny Kravitz swears by me."

5. ORA: Arem Fingal decided next time he doppled, he would choose anteater.

Best of Silhouette
By the power vested in me by the state of Massachusetts

"Dang it, Billy, every time you go to one of those Rainbow gatherings, it takes me four days to get the lice off you."

According to the romantic advice from my Chinese restaurant placemat, this should never work out.

Best of prince of leaves
The love that dare not bleat its name.

Moments later, the monkey was fatally impaled when a zoo visitor to the goat's right made a sudden move.

Doing the jobs goats won't do.

Best of champaignken
That has to be the best Halloween costume I have ever seen! How did you ever find a Barbara Boxer mask?

Best of Submariner
It's not you, it's meeeee... WHOA! Check out the legs on that gazelle! Sorry, where were we babe?

Look, I knew you were a "horny b*st*rd when we got married, but I ain't birthin' nothing like this. Period.


Hat Tip: Racerboy

16 comments:

Silhouette said...

By the power vested in me by the state of Massachusetts

Silhouette said...

"Dang it, Billy, every time you go to one of those Rainbow gatherings, it takes me four days to get the lice off you."

Silhouette said...

After the show's cancellation, Peter Tork found work with the local NFL franchise.

Silhouette said...

According to the romantic advice from my Chinese restaurant placemat, this should never work out.

prince of leaves said...

The love that dare not bleat its name.

prince of leaves said...

ORA: "Shall we engage in rishathra?"

prince of leaves said...

Moments later, the monkey was fatally impaled when a zoo visitor to the goat's right made a sudden move.

prince of leaves said...

Trained monkeys are increasingly employed as assistants for quadruple amputees.

prince of leaves said...

Doing the jobs goats won't do.

jeff said...

Hmm, your pulse is a bit high. Have you been getting enough exercise?

champaignken said...

Al Gore found the rare goatmonkey, but still couldn't find the manbearpig.

What happens when gay marriage is no longer an issue.

That has to be the best Halloween costume I have ever seen! How did you ever find a Barbara Boxer mask?

Anonymous said...

OMG! I'm outta breath -- 1 and 2 have to be the best combo punch you've had in a long, long time!
:-)


"Buckaroo"

sixdegreesofblondness said...

ORA:
"I'm spearing your head!"

"Yes, but I'm literally pinching your skin!"

Rodney Dill said...

goat: "Hmmm one more monkey and I'll have matching horn ornaments."

Submariner said...

It's not you, it's meeeee... WHOA!
Check out the legs on that gazelle! Sorry, where were we babe?

Submariner said...

Look, I knew you were a "horny b*st*rd when we got married, but I ain't birthin' nothing like this. Period.