1. "So, how was your date with Mohammed?"
2. When she saw her competition, Helen Thomas realized she didn't stand a chance on The Bachelor.
3. "Well, one day, Cheney came by the zoo and I flung poop at him, of course. The Next thing I knew, Howard Dean wanted me to run for Congress. Would have won, too, if it weren't for the kiss-of-death kos endorsement."
4. "Don't worry, hon' I'm an experienced celebrity beautician. Lenny Kravitz swears by me."
5. ORA: Arem Fingal decided next time he doppled, he would choose anteater.
Best of Silhouette
By the power vested in me by the state of Massachusetts
"Dang it, Billy, every time you go to one of those Rainbow gatherings, it takes me four days to get the lice off you."
According to the romantic advice from my Chinese restaurant placemat, this should never work out.
Best of prince of leaves
The love that dare not bleat its name.
Moments later, the monkey was fatally impaled when a zoo visitor to the goat's right made a sudden move.
Doing the jobs goats won't do.
Best of champaignken
That has to be the best Halloween costume I have ever seen! How did you ever find a Barbara Boxer mask?
Best of Submariner
It's not you, it's meeeee... WHOA! Check out the legs on that gazelle! Sorry, where were we babe?
Look, I knew you were a "horny b*st*rd when we got married, but I ain't birthin' nothing like this. Period.
Hat Tip: Racerboy