1. "I like Dwight's family and all, but his troubled adolescence is really getting on my nerves."
2. "I don't know why you're upset. Mr. Sullivan pays me $50 for doing this to him."
3. "Sorry, that sign that said, 'This Is Our Ool, Notice there's no 'P'' in it was just cutesy-wootsy to let go."
4. "Oooh, sorry, sis. For a moment, I thought you were The New York Times."
5. A young Bill Clinton charms Hillary.
6. The only appropriate way to respond to the question "Don't you think there's something a little fishy about the 'Official' story of 9-11?"
7. "Hey, sis, which hip-hopper am I?" "R Kelly?" "No... Pee Diddy!"
8. "Hey! Watch it! Don't get that in my Bud!"
9. "You're in a lotta trouble young man." "Heh Heh, you said 'urine.'"
10. Once again, it's better to be pissed off than pissed on.
Best of Silhouette
Sure, it looks classy, but remember, these brochure pictures always make the buildings and guests look better than they are in real life.
Best of Passionate Conservative
I never realized just how odd Christopher Walken was until this moment.
Best of Van Helsing
There's got to be a more efficient way of warming up the pool.
Best of divine miss m
Bill misunderstood the purpose of the "We aim to please! You, aim too, please." sign.
Best of Submariner
Pissonya is Russian for "I Love You."
That's no way to kill roaches!
OK, Daddy, 3 or 4 more kegs and the pool will be full...
"Pristine pool?" My bad, I thought you said "pissing..."
Best of David Simon
And you thought the tiger licking the bald chick was tacky statuery.
Best of Jonathan Leffingwell
Dammit, I didn't get my "Americana" warning!
"Don't p#ss on my head and tell me it's raining!"
Best of champaignken
Contrary to what she thought, Sally's father really would piss on her head if it was on fire.
This AP photo from France clearly shows that a swimming pool is a piscine!
Best of Occasional Reader
SUMMERTIME FIRST AID TIP #28: What to do if a jellyfish stings a friend or loved one on the head.
Best of Dusty
At the summer Democrat retreat, Chuck Schumer emphasizes to Hillary that HE is the senior senator from New York.
Best of Rodney Dill
"Keep on goin' Earl, It's nearly full."
I Guess You Can Blame: SondraK