Tuesday, June 20, 2006

Soccer Is Gay, II

1. Mexican armpit funk is a WMD by the standards of the UN High Commission on Chemical Agents.

2. "But, Captain Kirk, He is green on one side, red on the other side, and white in the middle. Whereas my race is red one side, white on the other side, and green in the middle. Also, they wear sombreros."

3. "Dang, where the heck do they make these cheap-ass lycra body stockings? Oh..."

4. "No thanks, Sr. Bush, I already am nasty."

5. Felipe had no idea what he was in for when Andrew Sullivan picked him up in front of the Home Depot.

6. Just another California Democrat pandering to his base, nothing to see here.

7. "Hi, Mr Submariner. I'm here to pick up your... son."

8. Jealous of the new spokes symbol, the Taco Bell chihuahua piddled on his Air Jordans.

9. "Well, you may be confident, but dry and secure? Not from downwind where I'm standing, Paco."

10. In case you're wondering, the dill is also painted green.

Best of Van Helsing
School uniforms come to Los Angeles.

Best of Submariner
Nothing to see here. Just a demonstration of the Mexican ass-hat dance, please move along.

Stan Lee's original Hulk® was a deemed a bit too ethnic to sell.

Best of jeff
Somehow the amateur jobs never quite looked as good as Rachel Hunter in SI's swimsuit edition...

Best of prince of leaves
"¡Pueden limpiar los olor mal de nuestras axilas, pero pueden nunca tomar nuestra liiibertaaaad!"

Best of bubbalove
Your mother smells of pinto beans! I throw my pit-stink in your general direction!

Best of Cybrludite
Unsuccessful superhero concepts #141: Capitan Mexico

Best of Son Of The Godfather
Unsuccessful superhero concepts #142: The Jalepeno Avenger.

The idea was interesting; Hulk, Silver Surfer, and Daredevil combined into a single entity by radiation. It was surprising when presales of the comic debut skyrocketted in Tijuana.

"EL KHAAAAAAAAAAAAAAN!"

Best of Slap Shot
The real President Bush after the lithium wears off.

Best of Rodney Dill
Jason won the Halloween costume contest as a BLT Sandwich.

Best of Frank IBC
Felipe's attempt to infiltrate the Metrosexual Mexican Mafia failed when he revealed his untrimmed, let alone unshaven, armpits.

Best of sonicfrog
Failed ad campaign # 1: "Soccer. It's the Pitts!!!"

Best of curly
Mexican champion peach picker Felipe shows off his prize winning fruit grabbing technique at the NAFTA Harvester Competition.



Hat Tip: Divine Miss M
Source: Sports Illustrated's Soccer Freak Essay. (Fair Use, you Time-Warner Pig-Dogs!)

35 comments:

Rodney Dill said...

Taco Socko!

Van Helsing said...

School uniforms come to Los Angeles.

Submariner said...

I've beaten the crap out of Leon, but Pedro? He's one a my homey's...

Submariner said...

Nothing to see here. Just a demonstration of the Mexican ass-hat dance, please move along.

Submariner said...

Cap This Redux:

Just to be safe, it's lined with tinfoil.

Submariner said...

Senior Cheney? ¡He oído que él ha colgado como un puma!

Submariner said...

Viva Mexico! Viva Nacho Libre!

jeff said...

Missed a spot. Thank goodness.

Somehow the amateur jobs never quite looked as good as Rachel Hunter in SI's swimsuit edition...

"Man, I got it around my crotch - it burns!"

Submariner said...

Smelly? without question.
Pirate? could be...
Hooker? if, and ONLY if he's a shepherd by trade!

Submariner said...

LKT:

Stan Lee's original Hulk® was a deemed a bit too ethnic to sell.

Submariner said...

Sí, Soy el cerdo del oso del hombre.

sonicfrog said...

Worldwide, soccer attracts fans of all stripes and colors...

sonicfrog said...

Hey, wasn't this guy's dad in an old Star Trek episode??? Must have had an inter-racial marriage.zcxdj

prince of leaves said...

"¡Pueden limpiar los olor mal de nuestras axilas, pero pueden nunca tomar nuestra liiibertaaaad!"

bubbalove said...

Your mother smells of pinto beans! I throw my pit-stink in your general direction!

or

Pedro Gonzales turns and curses the L.A. school board who refused to hire him because he was a little too 'white'.

Cybrludite said...

Unsuccessful superhero concepts #141: Capitan Mexico

Son Of The Godfather said...

Sh-t, the convergence has gone out on my bigscreen again...

Son Of The Godfather said...

Inspired by cybrludite:
Unsuccessful superhero concepts #142: The Jalepeno Avenger.

Son Of The Godfather said...

Doing the lunatic antics that normal Americans won't do.

Son Of The Godfather said...

The idea was interesting; Hulk, Silver Surfer, and Daredevil combined into a single entity by radiation. It was surprising when presales of the comic debut skyrocketted in Tijuana.

Son Of The Godfather said...

Well, it would make them easier to spot at the border...

Son Of The Godfather said...

Meet my friend, Chil E. Rieno.

Son Of The Godfather said...

"EL KHAAAAAAAAAAAAAAN!"

Delayed reaction - Just got V's #4... HA!

Slap Shot said...

The real President Bush after the lithium wears off.

Rodney Dill said...

Jason won the Halloween costume contest as a BLT Sandwich.

Submariner said...

"...and if you stop me at the border I shall claim "racial profiling" and have the ACLU sue you for public humiliation!"

Jonathan said...

"I'm Señor Gumby, dammit!"

Frank IBC said...

2. "But, Captain Kirk, He is green on one side, red on the other side, and white in the middle. Whereas my race is red one side, white on the other side, and green in the middle. Also, they wear sombreros."

Heh... the reverse (or inverse?) of the Mexican flag is the Iranian flag. And Mexico clobbered Iran in their first game.

And now, the actual caption...

Felipe's attempt to infiltrate the Metrosexual Mexican Mafia failed when he revealed his untrimmed, let alone unshaven, armpits.

Submariner said...

Hah! We fielded our scrubs against Iran - the entire team is made of Jewish Mexicans! heh heh

sonicfrog said...

Failed ad campaign # 1:

"Soccer. It's the Pitts!!!"

Submariner said...

Where will you be when your laxative kicks in?

curly said...

Andrew Sullivan at Jeffrey Dahmer's gay butcher shop: "I'll have a slab of white meat -- the loin section, please."

curly said...

Mexican champion peach picker Felipe shows off his prize winning fruit grabbing technique at the NAFTA Harvester Competition.

Submariner said...

And I say Gloria Estevan is mucho, mucho more talented than your Janet Jackson!

Submariner said...

LESS FILLING!