1. Mexican armpit funk is a WMD by the standards of the UN High Commission on Chemical Agents.
2. "But, Captain Kirk, He is green on one side, red on the other side, and white in the middle. Whereas my race is red one side, white on the other side, and green in the middle. Also, they wear sombreros."
3. "Dang, where the heck do they make these cheap-ass lycra body stockings? Oh..."
4. "No thanks, Sr. Bush, I already am nasty."
5. Felipe had no idea what he was in for when Andrew Sullivan picked him up in front of the Home Depot.
6. Just another California Democrat pandering to his base, nothing to see here.
7. "Hi, Mr Submariner. I'm here to pick up your... son."
8. Jealous of the new spokes symbol, the Taco Bell chihuahua piddled on his Air Jordans.
9. "Well, you may be confident, but dry and secure? Not from downwind where I'm standing, Paco."
10. In case you're wondering, the dill is also painted green.
Best of Van Helsing
School uniforms come to Los Angeles.
Best of Submariner
Nothing to see here. Just a demonstration of the Mexican ass-hat dance, please move along.
Stan Lee's original Hulk® was a deemed a bit too ethnic to sell.
Best of jeff
Somehow the amateur jobs never quite looked as good as Rachel Hunter in SI's swimsuit edition...
Best of prince of leaves
"¡Pueden limpiar los olor mal de nuestras axilas, pero pueden nunca tomar nuestra liiibertaaaad!"
Best of bubbalove
Your mother smells of pinto beans! I throw my pit-stink in your general direction!
Best of Cybrludite
Unsuccessful superhero concepts #141: Capitan Mexico
Best of Son Of The Godfather
Unsuccessful superhero concepts #142: The Jalepeno Avenger.
The idea was interesting; Hulk, Silver Surfer, and Daredevil combined into a single entity by radiation. It was surprising when presales of the comic debut skyrocketted in Tijuana.
Best of Slap Shot
The real President Bush after the lithium wears off.
Best of Rodney Dill
Jason won the Halloween costume contest as a BLT Sandwich.
Best of Frank IBC
Felipe's attempt to infiltrate the Metrosexual Mexican Mafia failed when he revealed his untrimmed, let alone unshaven, armpits.
Best of sonicfrog
Failed ad campaign # 1: "Soccer. It's the Pitts!!!"
Best of curly
Mexican champion peach picker Felipe shows off his prize winning fruit grabbing technique at the NAFTA Harvester Competition.
Hat Tip: Divine Miss M
Source: Sports Illustrated's Soccer Freak Essay. (Fair Use, you Time-Warner Pig-Dogs!)