1. "I can dress you up, but I can't take you anywhere."
2. Just another typical weekend at the Kennedy Compound.
3. "Here's your daughter back, Mr Submariner. Good as new."
4. Cleaning out the Mexican brothel after a Dick Cheney weekend. "There's another 63 in there, just like this one."
5. The Man Who Thought His Wife Was A Hat is caught without his umbrella.
6. "See, I TOLD you there was alcohol in mudslides, but would you listen? No-o-o-o-o-o-o."
7. "Sorry, kids. I just had to remind mommy about the chain of command."
8. "My name is Patrick Kennedy, I'm on my way to a vote, this dead whore is none of your beeswax, so frack off!!!."
9. The Worst Job in America as Determined by the Department of Labor: Courtney Love's Personal Assistant.
10. "Fatality! Flawless Victory!"
Best of Submariner
ORA: Outake - Following a few rounds of Zombies, Sissy mistakenly rides Buford instead of the mechanical bull...
I hate it when idiots throw out perfectly good prostitutes. Why this one ain't been dead more'n a day!
Gunga Dan muttered to himself; "Take MY anchor desk, will ya Katie? We'll see, we'll see."
Dude's name is "Calgon." Ya just knew it would happen eventually...
Best of Rodney Dill
"Dang, Smelly pirate hookers sure put up a fight when they're cornered."
Best of Son Of The Godfather
Cynthia McKinney punches the wrong cop.
Santa doesn't seem as magical when he starts pushing dead hookers out of his sleigh.
"Looks like I picked the wrong week to give up necrophilia."
Dead Chick Mondays took awhile to catch on.
Best of Rodney Dill
In the Michael Moore documentary on Ted Kennedy, Teddy saves Mary Jo.
While you could get more distance with dwarf tossing. Dworkin tossing was a lot more satisfying.
Best of curly
"What happened? She called me a misogynist, so I slugged the bitch!"
Best of bubbalove
Her political career in tatters, Hillary has eaten a bullet and is solemnly being taken down into the pit of Hades by the wraith of Vince Foster.
Best of Jonathan Leffingwell
"What an amateur that Scott Peterson is!" guffawed Ted Kennedy as he watched the made-for-TV movie.