1. "Oh, yeah round eyes. They're real. They're spectacular. And I suckle off them three times a day."
2. Albert Einstein had two words to say about his reincarnation. "Hot" and "Damn."
3. "No, I'm not 'possessed.' You'd spin your head completely around too if you saw a breast the size of your head."
4. Baby's first mohawk.
5. "Strained peas served smeared over the breasts of Angelina Jolie. I am so glad my dad is the Sultan of Brunei."
6. "Hey now! Can you say, 'Open the pod bay doors, Hal!'"
7. "Whaddya mean I got to share 'em with Brad Pitt?"
8. Demi Moore is so-o-o-o-o-o-o jealous.
Yeah, I know it's a little light on the T&A, but you should see the sick picture The Man wanted me to post.
Best of Cybrludite
(ORA)I dunno about Hollyweird's casting picks combined with all the remakes they're doing. These are some damn weird choices for Iris Steensma and Travis Bickle...
Best of Rodney Dill
"I'm here and you're not! NYAAHH!"
DRUDGEBREAKING: Apparently Angelina Jolie can hold her Licker.
Best of Jonathan Leffingwell
Jolie's kid learns "Wasssssssssuuupppppp!" from his old man.
Best of David Simon
"Arghhh! Mom, next time let a damn barber do it."
"Uh honey, when I asked you to bring me something back from Namibia, I was hoping for native crafts."
Best of Son Of The Godfather
I'd do her, but I wouldn't want to be known as "SOTGolina".
"Dat's a-spicey nipple!"
"So, Xanchi, I'll be your new babysitter... Can you tell me which drawer your mom keeps her undergarments in?... How 'bout letting me know where the hamper is?..."
Best of Silhouette
Brad began to suspect that maybe Angelina and Mr. T weren't "just" friends.
Best of The Man and Rodeny Dill Combined
Best of sonicfrog
Sooooo, though both parents of the child wished to keep their identities a secret, thanks to his penchant for showing off his long tongue, squeezing the boobs of strange women, and spitting up blood, we now know the child's real father is... Gene Simmons!
Best of What, me worry?
With lips like those, I'm sure she could show Jerry Lewis a thing or two about hiding tubular objects your oral cavity.
Best of Submariner
She wanted us to "match." Wanna guess where she has a patch she shaves like this?