Monday, June 12, 2006

Kostard Headgear

Because nothing says "Reality-Based Community" like walking around in a helmet made of Reynolds wrap.

1. "Check it out! Ward Churchill is selling 'Authentic Native American Headdresses'."

2. "Pull my finger, Comrade."

3. Kostard Buffet or Scientology Seminar? The answer will surprise you.

4. "You see, basically, Bush is Hitler and his entire administration is run by Jews for the benefit of Israeli. It makes a lot more sense if you wear one of these."

5. "We've also foresworn toilet paper in support of our brothers the trees... hors d'oeuvre?"

6. "I hear Cindy Sheehan got lost and ended up at a Seminar for Mad Cow Disease, and no one even noticed."

7. "... and then I found out on Democratic Underground that Karl Rove was refining his mind-control beam to make the aluminum foil react with the selenium in dandruff shampoo and give you brain cancer. Shows how stupid those Rethugliklans are. None of us have even used shampoo since the 1960s."

8. "You know what I hate even worse than Bush? Banana-shaped men.... Oh, gawd, there's one standing right behind me isn't there?"

9. "If you stand enough of us in a row and connect the tinfoil with copper wire, you can pick up Streisand."

10. "Moonbeam and Starshine couldn't make it. Apparently, Pedro and Leon pounded the crap out of them."

Best of lawhawk
This? Why, I can make a hat or a brooch or a pterodactyl...

Best of Rodney Dill
Look over there. Rodney Dill is selling the Spear and Magic Helmet.

Best of The Man
YEEAAAAAHH... damn I can pick up Howard Dean on this thing.

Unfortunately, the mood was more somber after the fateful Saran-Wrap mask competition.

Best of David Simon
An air of dejection envoloped the room when the realization hit that there was no aluminum foil left to make an improvised pot pipe.

Best of Submariner
The White House Press Corps, awaiting new direction from Mother Thomas...

Best of sonicfrog
Hey, check it out! Danny is getting broadcasts from Jupiter again.

Best of Son Of The Godfather
One Kossack took his shoes off to relax, walked across the shag carpetting, and electrocuted the entire Kos Kontingent.

The tinfoil wasn't for a mind-control conspiracy thing, it was simply the only way they could pick up Air America.

The tinfoil wasn't for a mind-control conspiracy thing, it was simply the only way they could pick up Al Gore's Current TV.

Carl and Will, sitting in the 2nd and 3rd seats, inadvertenly focus the microwaves inward and promptly vaporize leaving only their hats.

With your minimum donation of $12 per month, you can be part of the cure for Jiffy-Pop Head.

Best of Mr. Right
"Reynolds Wrap??? Are you insane??? Do you have any idea how much money their parent company Alcoa donates to the Rethuglicans every year??? My god, man! You might as well take that thing off, Karl Rove's already got you under his greasy lizardoid thumb without the damned mindray!"

"You are, of course, aware that Mother Earth was raped by an evil, right-wing, capitalist strip-mining operation to obtain the raw materials that later went into the environment poisoning, underpaid worker exploiting manufacturing process of that 'headgear' of yours, right? Tell me you are aware of these sorts of things!"

Best of Van Helsing
Good thing Nancy Pelosi couldn't make it. She thinks her tinfoil hat makes her invisible, so she might have shown up naked.

Best of What, me worry?
Tyrone, the only black in attendance, stormed out after being compared to a Hershey's Kiss once too often.

“Is that a roll of Reynolds Wrap in your pocket, or are you just glad to see me?”

“My mom actually got me started wearing these. She used to make me put one on and go out and play whenever there were thunderstorms in the area.”

The two empty seats were reserved for their two absent comrades, Pedro and Leon.

From Hotair Via: Michelle Malkin

42 comments:

lawhawk said...

This? Why, I can make a hat or a brooch or a pterodactyl...

Rodney Dill said...

You weak-minded fool! He's using an old Jedi mind trick. . Put your tin-foil hat back on.

Rodney Dill said...

Look over there. Rodney Dill is selling the Spear and Magic Helmet.

Rodney Dill said...

"No, you have the wrong room, the Duct tape pool wear is just down the hall."

The Man said...

YEEAAAAAHH... damn I am channeling Dean again.

The Man said...

Unfortunately, the mood was more somber after the fateful Saran-Wrap mask competition.

The Man said...

I've got tin foil hat and some chemtrails in my underwear.

David Simon said...

An air of dejection envoloped the room when the realization hit that there was no aluminum foil left to make an improvised pot pipe.

Rodney Dill said...

"...and another plus is that in a nuclear holocaust the EMP acts on the tin-foil and turns your brain into pudding, which is preferable to starvation or being trampled by the rampaging hoards in the aftermath."

Submariner said...

Well looky who's here! We're the first 10 of your 72 virgins, Abu. Course the cherries are a bit "bruised" if you catch my drift...

Submariner said...

The White House Press Corps, awaiting new direction from Mother Thomas...

sonicfrog said...

Hey, check it out! Danny is getting broadcasts from Jupiter again.

Submariner said...

So St. Pancake says to me in a dream; "Don't forget me; buy Caterpillar..." What do you think it means

Son Of The Godfather said...

One Kossack took his shoes off to relax, walked across the shag carpetting, and electrocuted the entire Kos Kontingent.

Son Of The Godfather said...

The tinfoil wasn't for a mind-control conspiracy thing, it was simply the only way they could pick up Air America.

Son Of The Godfather said...

The tinfoil wasn't for a mind-control conspiracy thing, it was simply the only way they could pick up Al Gore's Current TV.

Son Of The Godfather said...

Napoleon Dynamite realizes he's in the wrong place at the wrong time.
"You guys are DORKS,... Gosh!"

Son Of The Godfather said...

Carl and Will, sitting in the 2nd and 3rd seats, inadvertenly focus the microwaves inward and promptly vaporize leaving only their hats.

Son Of The Godfather said...

"Greetings fellow Kossacks!... You have walked across the coals of Rethuglican Oppression!... You have pinned the tail on the Chimpy McHitler!... You have accepted the tin-foil Beanies of Truth To Power!... The final step to Total Kossack Enlightenment is within your grasp! You must now drink the Kool-Aid of Wisdom!... Step right up, accept your Kool-Aid, and lay down with your head towards Mecca!...Uh, and... oh yeah, please remove your tennis shoes to prepare for your journey."

Son Of The Godfather said...

Why do older Kos ladies like poking people in the back? (two of 'em in this photo alone)

Son Of The Godfather said...

With your minimum donation of $12 per month, you can be part of the cure for Jiffy-Pop Head.

Submariner said...

Maude (back left corner); "Gretchen! Make a hat, not a hoo-hoo-dilly scratcher... Do you want to have your mind controlled by a man like Rove?"

Mr. Right said...

Little known facts about moonbats, lesson #1:

Contrary to popular belief, tinfoil hats are not used to keep mind control rays out; they are, in fact, used to insulate the skull to keep the last few living brain cells from dying off. As one can readily see from all available evidence, they do not work worth a tinker's damn!

Mr. Right said...

"Reynolds Wrap??? Are you insane??? Do you have any idea how much money their parent company Alcoa donates to the Rethuglicans every year??? My god, man! You might as well take that thing off, Karl Rove's already got you under his greasy lizardoid thumb without the damned mindray!"

Mr. Right said...

"You are, of course, aware that Mother Earth was raped by an evil, right-wing, capitalist strip-mining operation to obtain the raw materials that later went into the environment poisoning, underpaid worker exploiting manufacturing process of that 'headgear' of yours, right? Tell me you are aware of these sorts of things!"

Van Helsing said...

With a tight enough tinfoil hat, some moonbats can pick up Err America signals even when it isn't broadcasting.

Van Helsing said...

Good thing Nancy Pelosi couldn't make it. She thinks her tinfoil hat makes her invisible, so she might have shown up naked.

Silhouette said...

"Uh, I'm 'between jobs' right now. You too? And you? And you?"

Dwight The Troubled Teen said...

One way to get the attention of the College of Cardinals is to dress for the job you want, not the job you have.

Mr. Right said...

"You know what I hate most about the tinfoil? It really chaffes my rectum!"

What, me worry? said...

“You’re so old school! Put your tinfoil hat on backwards, you dweeb!”

Japanese tinfoil origami experts just die laughing whenever they see how the Americans naively butcher their art form.

“I hear the next item up for auction is a TF hat worn by John Kerry himself!”

What, me worry? said...

Tyrone, the only black in attendance, stormed out after being compared to a Hershey's Kiss once too often.

“Is that a roll of Reynolds Wrap in your pocket, or are you just glad to see me?”

"...and Superman never realized that tin foil was better than lead at blocking the effects of kryptonite until he saw the evil Bushitler’s plan exposed on the DailyKOS website!”

What, me worry? said...
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What, me worry? said...

“Irene, you’re like a cross between the Tinman from The Wizard of Oz, Rin Tin Tin’s girlfriend, and the liquid metal T-1000 monster from Terminator 2: a heartless bitch whose very presence could make a sane man jump out of a flying helicopter!”

What, me worry? said...

“My mom actually got me started wearing these. She used to make me put one on and go out and play whenever there were thunderstorms in the area.”

“Irene is so tight that I think she makes her foil hats out of recycled turds from the Tinman.”

What, me worry? said...

Nothing moved this collection of Jew hating nutballs more than hearing how the Islamofacist suicide bombers would wrap their dicks in tin foil in preparation for the 72 hapless virgins awaiting them in the “afterlife”.

Submariner said...

Hey Sunflower, did you hear? al'Gore might have a nude scene in his next movie! We'll find out once and for all whether he's sportin' a real woody or it really is just his personality!

What, me worry? said...

The two empty seats were reserved for their two absent comrades, Pedro and Leon.

Submariner said...

Is it wrong for me to charge 'em rent for the "castles in the air" they build? I'm just askin'...

Submariner said...

Making fun of the weak-willed who are directed by wackos who are directed by communists who want to regain power at the cost of civilization as we know it. Nice. Read their story. Edumacate yourselves, morons.

divine miss m said...

Fortunately they thought ahead, so their buffet luncheon has been sitting on TVs for 72 hours so the radiation from the TVs has had time to kill all the poisons in the food.

Submariner said...

I made some jiffy pop. Think one of 'em would like to buy a turban? I'm just askin'...