Wednesday, June 28, 2006

The Korean Martin Lawrence

1. Gay Pride Parades in Pyongyang are... kinda sad.

2. Kim Che farts have a devastating blast radius.

3. The Axe Effect comes to Asia.

4. Norm Mineta thought his humiliation was complete, then Karl Rove pantsed him.

5. Jackie Chan is 'The Jerk!' "I was born a poor brack child..."

6. "Damn you Arec Baldwin!!"

7. "We got spirit! Yes, we do! Dammit, where the hell is the rest of the squad?"

8. Caucasian schizophrenics often believe they're Napoleon. Asian schizophrenics often believe they're Bill Clinton.

9. ORA*: "The old glay mare she AIN'T what she used to be, AIN'T what she used to be..."

10. The Korean arm of "Breasts Not Bombs" has exactly one member.

Best of Cybrludite
Failed Superhero Concepts #523: Half-Naked Asian Man

Further proof that Kim wasn't the sharpest ginsu in the drawers...

Best of racerboy
I'm...
Too sexy for my shirt...
Too sexy for my shirt...
Soo sexxxy it hurts...

Best of The Man
North Korean traffic symbols seem strange to westerners.

YearlyKos 2007: Pyongyang

Best of Rodney Dill
"Pardon me, but you were asked to CLAP!"

Best of Silhouette
"Well that's everything. I must have left my keys back at the restaurant."

Failed ad campaign #1066: Shop downtown this weekend, where everything is 75 percent off.

Best of Dwight The Troubled Teen
After one too many "Dog Buffet" jokes, Vietnamese restaurant owner Cho Xi Xuck lost his composure and challenged anyone in earshot to "bite-a on dees, my big-uh trouser schnauzer."

Best of champaignken
North Korea prepares to unveil its new long range missle.

Best of WALSTIB
Where wir you be ren your raxitive start working?"

Best of Adjustah
"It WORKS! I'm INVISIBLE!!!"

Best of Submariner
Boxers or briefs? No, dammit, no! A simple verbal answer was all that was needed...

♪It's just a jump to the reft,
And then a step to the right.
With your hands on your hips,
You bring your knees in ti-i-ight.
But it's the pearvic thrust,
That rearry drives you insay-ay-ay-ay-ay-ane!
Ret's do the 'Time Warp' again!♪

Source: Yahoo News/AssPress Photo/Ahn Young-joon

*Obscure Reference Advisory, in this case, the Season 4 Simpsons episode "Krusty Gets Kancelled."

29 comments:

Cybrludite said...

A rare photograph of the Boxer Rebellion.

Cybrludite said...

Failed Superhero Concepts #523: Half-Naked Asian Man

Cybrludite said...

Geez, their society is so regimented that they have arrows to point you in the proper direction to queef. (The direction being "Towards Mecca", of course...)

Cybrludite said...

"Oooooh, yeah! Those old Indian chicks are so gonna grove on my rugged good looks!"

Cybrludite said...

Further proof that Kim wasn't the sharpest ginsu in the drawers...

Van Helsing said...

Inspired by PETA's antics, Chien Ah-Chu took his campaign to have moo shu pork replaced with moo shu tofu to the next level.

racerboy said...

Protesters in Seoul lash out over the lack of a new "Best Of" from V the K.

racerboy said...

I'm...
Too sexy for my shirt...
Too sexy for my shirt...
Soo sexxxy it hurts...

The Man said...

Is it Thursday already?

The Man said...

Google Search: "Asian boobs"

The Man said...

North Korean traffic symbols seem strange to westerners.

The Man said...

YearlyKos 2007: Pyongyang

jeff said...

Authorities were unclear on whether they preferred this method of protest over simple self-immolation...

Rodney Dill said...

"Pardon me, but you were asked to CLAP!"

Silhouette said...

"Well that's everything. I must have left my keys back at the restaurant."

Silhouette said...

Failed ad campaign #1066:

Shop downtown this weekend, where everything is 75 percent off.

Dwight The Troubled Teen said...

After one too many "Dog Buffet" jokes, Vietnamese restaurant owner Cho Xi Xuck lost his composure and challenged anyone in earshot to "bite-a on dees, my big-uh trouser schnauzer."

divine miss m said...

In the 70s, they got stoned before they streaked.

champaignken said...

North Korea prepares to launch its new long range missle.

Where the hell did I put my dog? I hope it isn't hooking up with the pool boy again!

Rodney Dill said...

"REYNOLDO WHERE ARE YOU!!!"

WALSTIB said...

Where wir you be ren your raxitive start working?"

Adjustah said...

"It WORKS! I'm INVISIBLE!!!"

Submariner said...

Boxers or briefs? No, dammit, no! A simple verbal answer was all that was needed...

Submariner said...

♪It's just a jump to the reft,
And then a step to the right.
With your hands on your hips,
You bring your knees in ti-i-ight.
But it's the pearvic thrust,
That rearry drives you insay-ay-ay-ay-ay-ane!
Ret's do the 'Time Warp' again!♪

Submariner said...

ORA:

"This is your Action News reporter covering the disturbance at Hung's Market. Pardon me sir, did you see what happened?"

"Yeah, I did. There I was, mindin' mah own bidness, s'lectin' some Bak Choy, and he come by. Wadn't wearin' nuthin' but his sandals. I hollar'd "Don't Look Ethel!" but it was too late. She'd already been 'Kim Chee'd'..."

Submariner said...

C'mon, Jackie, how many times we got to go over this?

"♪Throw out your hands. Stick out your tush.
Hands on your hips, give 'em a push.
You'll be surprised you're doing the French mistake.
Voila.♪"

WALSTIB said...

It's "Showtunes With Submariner" tonight on CapThis. Join us later on when Sub joins SOTG for Asian renditions of "I'm a Little Teacup" and "Moon Over Yellow River".

[word ver: ifxgayy]

Rodney Dill said...

"So Kim Jong-Il, how do you stand on nuclear waste?"

Merovign said...

Imagine an alternative world, an alternative history, a free, united Korea.

Now imagine what Kim Jong Il would be doing.

Oh, a picture!