Monday, June 26, 2006

How Festive

1. Scientologists were thrilled when Lord Xenu arrived on Earth to vindicate them. Normal people responded the way they usually responded to Scientology: "Wow, that's really gay."

2. Jamie Gumb returns from the scene of the Smurf massacre.

3. Upon seeing this picture, Dwight realized that "troubled" was a relative term.

4. Andrew Sullivan was adamant that his bridesmaids not outshine him.

5. Since no one could take the Zontarg Supreme Commander seriously, the Earth was doomed.

6. Weekday Job: Sex Ed Coordinator at your kid's Middle School.

7. Would you buy a used Miata from this man?

8. Barney Frank's re-election campaign begins door-to-door canvassing

9. Ricky got beaten up a lot in school. He still gets beaten up a lot, mostly by a bearded biker dressed as Judy Garland.

10. It's called dignity, look into it sometime.

11. ORA: "Oh boy.... Al?.... Ziggy?... Get me the Hell outta here."

Best of divine miss m
Rainbow stripes and a formal bow before 6 pm? Emily Post would roll over in her grave!

So, like, would this be an example of 'people of color,' or 'colored people'?

Best of Silhouette
"Want I should show you my pot of gold?"

The dangeRs of passing out drunk when your friends have access to tempera paint.

Gary was good at charades. The answer was "Cici my playmate."

I wasn't sure what color your daughter's prom dress was and I wanted to make sure I matched.

Best of The Man
Blue...it's the new black

Best of WALSTIB
Ding Dong...."Package for you."

"Where the white women at?"

I know why you're staring! I feel totally stupid with these gloves on.

Does my gaunt, homoerotically abused body make my head look big?

Best of Rodney Dill
"I didn't take it, but I gave LSD to all my friends."

Best of T. Harris
"Oh look, honey. The Cirque de Sofuckinqueerthatitdefiesdescription is in town!"

Best of Submariner
There's an old joke about "...screwin' a parrot in the jungle and wonderin' if you're my son." This idjit would make a perfect visual...

Oh c'mon, folks; haven't you ever seen a Unitarian before?

I think I saw this guy on display in the Roswell Museum. I'm just sayin'...

Best of Tomslick
Pull


Best of racerboy
Andrew Sullivan looks forward to sampling some of the local color.

So I guess it's safe to say the blueballs hasn't gotten any better, huh Bill?


Best of prince of leaves
Thought bubble: "Heh, my camouflage field renders me invisible to these humans! I can roam amongst them at will, unobserved!"

Best of Mr. Right
One of the villains from the upcoming Superman movie brings a whole new meaning to the phrase: "Kneel before Zod!"

♪ It's not easy bein' aquamarine ♪

"Mr. Dill? Hi, I'm here to take your son to the prom..."

Best of Cybrludite
So, this is who was behind the spikey-boot wearing whip-chick!

Best of What, me worry?
John Kerry supporters come in all stripes and colors.


Ace and Van Helsing had this image first.

57 comments:

Frank IBC said...

More soccer gayness: http://us.news1.yimg.com/us.yimg.com/i/fifa/gen/afp/20060626/i/1899343888.jpg

divine miss m said...

Rainbow stripes and a formal bow before 6 pm? Emily Post would roll over in her grave!

Silhouette said...

"Want I should show you my pot of gold?"

The Man said...

Blue...it's the new black

Silhouette said...

ORA

Gary was good at charades. The answer was "Cici my playmate."

Silhouette said...

The disadvantages of passing out drunk when your friends have access to tempera paint.

WALSTIB said...

[recycled]
Ding Dong...."Package for you."

WALSTIB said...

"Where the white women at?"

WALSTIB said...

Q. What's red, orange yellow, green and indigo and blue all over?

A. I don't know, but keep it the hell away from my kids.

WALSTIB said...

"Did anyone see the scrotum guy? Today's my first lesson and I don't want to come late".

WALSTIB said...

"Just a normal day on the streets of San Fransicko; nothing to see here; keep moving."

WALSTIB said...

Please. Don't. Turn. Around.

WALSTIB said...

Jocque Too Tight

jeff said...

Somewhere out there is a mother completely blasted out of her mind on acid. But she didn't start dropping it until she saw what she'd created.

Silhouette said...

I wasn't sure what color your daughter's prom dress was and I wanted to make sure I matched.

Van Helsing said...

Unable to reproduce biologically, denizens of the planet Andrusullivania travel to Earth seeking willing immigrants to populate their world.

Rodney Dill said...

Yo man, if Ice Cream looks like this they call it Superman Ice Cream

Rodney Dill said...

"I didn't take it, but I gave LSD to all my friends."

T. Harris said...

"What the fuck are you lookin' at,pal?"

T. Harris said...

"Oh look, honey. The Cirque de Sofuckinqueerthatitdefiesdescription is in town!"

Dusty said...

Congressman William Jefferson (D-LA) apparently has already made post-congressional career plans.

Submariner said...

There's an old joke about "...screwin' a parrot in the jungle and wonderin' if you're my son." This idjit would make a perfect visual...

Tomslick said...

Pull

Tomslick said...

Welcome ladies and gentlemen to the 2006 gerbil stuffers allstar game.

Submariner said...

Oh c'mon, folks; haven't you ever seen a Unitarian before?

Submariner said...

V. I'm sorry for all the things I said before. May I please write a few nasty, sophmoric, ironic, morally reprehensible caps on this jack-@ss?

Sincerely, Dawn

Submariner said...

ORA:

"Franks and beans!"

Submariner said...

I think I saw this guy on display in the Roswell Museum. I'm just sayin'...

Submariner said...

One Crayola Short of a Box

Submariner said...

Tonight on Montel:
Are there lasting effects from unusual name choices? Special guest - Moon Unit Zappa

WALSTIB said...

I know why you're staring! I feel totally stupid with these gloves on.

WALSTIB said...

Does my gaunt, homoerotically abused body make my head look big?

Rodney Dill said...

ORA "...not much, just ran into Tammy Faye Messner."

Mr. Right said...

One of the villains from the upcoming Superman movie brings a whole new meaning to the phrase: "Kneel before Zod!"

Mr. Right said...

"Oh, look! Here comes Interior Decorator Smurf!"

Mr. Right said...

During the offseason, Olympic figure skater Johnny Weir auditions for the Greenwich Village troop of the Blue Man Group

Mr. Right said...

It's not easy bein' aquamarine

Mr. Right said...

Next on Bravo: Extreme Makeover meets Queer Eye for the Not-So-Straight Guy...

divine miss m said...

Pop better bloody well not go the weasel!

racerboy said...

"Well, Girlfriend, color me blue, purple, and sassy all over!"

racerboy said...

Andrew Sullivan looks forward to sampling some of the local color.

divine miss m said...

So, like, would this be an example of 'people of color,' or 'colored people'?

prince of leaves said...

Thought bubble: "Heh, my camouflage field renders me invisible to these humans! I can roam amongst them at will, unobserved!"

Mr. Right said...

Word to the wise: No matter how many free wishes he may offer you, NEVER accept this "genie's" offer to show you his "magic wand"!

Mr. Right said...

"Mr. Dill? Hi, I'm here to take your son to the prom..."

Mr. Right said...

"Oh, yeah? Well, I can STILL pound the living crap out of Pedro AND Leon!"

Cybrludite said...

So, this is who was behind the spikey-boot wearing whip-chick!

Submariner said...

Alice cooper was so... lame...

Submariner said...

You say you're a "winter" sweetie? Well, the stylist couldn't decide what season I was...

Submariner said...

San Francisco unveils the new Letter Carrier summer uniform. (Don't ask where they hold the mail, they'll show you...)

Submariner said...

SOTG! You can't wear that "grass green" leisure suit to the prom. We'll clash!

racerboy said...

So I guess it's safe to say the blueballs hasn't gotten any better, huh Bill?

Jonathan said...

Fearing his declining popularity, the creators of Gumby are trying to appeal to the PBS brass to not cancel the show.

Mr. Right said...

"I wuv you! I wuv you!" said the little blue man
"I wuv you! I wuv you to bits."
"I wuv you!" He loved me said the little blue man
And scared me right out of my wits.

Mr. Right said...

Somewhere over the rainbow
GUYS are blue,
And the dreams that they dare to dream
Really do come true

Submariner said...

Following the adulation and fame of his early childhood followed by the intense questioning of his sexuality, Tinky Wink went through a rough stage at 16...


OVW: weepey

What, me worry? said...

Looks like one of Intel’s Blew Men got a virus.

John Kerry supporters come in all stripes and colors.

A proud member of Jesse Jackson’s Rainbow Co-Lichen.

“Have you seen a blue plastic butt plug laying around?”