Tuesday, June 27, 2006

The Cougar Club

1. Bed Bath & Beyond was puzzled by the recent wave of shoplifting.

2. "Helen Thomas is doing a nude fertility dance? There goes my Vindaloo."

3. Mrs Pradesh was completely unaware that the sniper was about to put one right between her eyebrows.

4. "This blows. I'm gonna start a mosh pit. Who's with me?"

5. "Apparition of the Virgin Mary? Girlfriend, are you ever in the wrong place!"

6. "See, grandma, you're never too old for Chippendale's."

7. "Oh, no, Granny, you sat in the wet spot."

8. "Ssssh, Grandma. Senator Byrd is about to explain how to preserve the purity of the White Race."

9. "Don't be shy, grandma. Go right up to Dr. Kevorkian and tell him what you want."

10. "Oh, don't worry about dinner, grandma. He's probably stoned again."

Best of Silhouette
Sixty years later, Delta House still throws the best parties.

Best David Simon
"Sorry Ms. Patel, Ms. Patel and Ms. Patel. If it takes you this long to load a clip into a 9-mil, you're probably not a good Seven Eleven franchisee candidate."

In the next episode of Simple Life India, members of the Brahmin Caste are told to rake the latrines.

The Bombay Women's Club seemed to concur: Arundhati Roy is one crazy bitch.

The sight of Rosie O'Donnell in a sari had everyone in the room wondering why they worshipped cows.

Best Van Helsing
"Have some patience, Grandma. She'll start taking her clothes off as soon as she's let the anticipation build."

Best WALSTIB
So you say it's called the "G" spot?? Hmmm... well, why don't you give me a call sixty years ago, when I could have used that!

Best champaignken
Hooters looks to out source its waitresses to India. Ms. Patel isn't sure what a chicken wing is (or what hooters are).

Best Submariner
Hermione wasn't pleased with the latest Defense Against the Dark Arts professor's example of the results of an "Agemonius Cuntas-Cruciatiatus Curse." On the other hand, Professor Snape was tickled purple.

Motel 6 Management Training Seminar, Day 1; Sheet recycling techniques...

Source: Brandy Baker/ Detroit News Photoblog

24 comments:

The Man said...

...and the snipers took aim

jeff said...

They call it a "bra" you say? Remarkable!

Silhouette said...

The Kama Sutra!:Live and Onstage.

The head tilts increased in angle as the night wore on.

Silhouette said...

Caption This readers just couldn't believe the size of her butt cheeks.

Silhouette said...

Delta House throws the best parties.

divine miss m said...

V,VORA: "Mama-Rajneesh thank you, the best her life, now die happy!"

David Simon said...

"Sorry Ms. Patel, Ms. Patel and Ms. Patel. If it takes you this long to add two plus two, you're probably not a good Seven Eleven franchisee candidate."

David Simon said...

In the next episode of Simple Life India, members of the Upper Caste are told to rake the latrines.

David Simon said...

"Question 2, and I'm already stumped Alpana; is Michael Jackson black or white?" "Don't rush me Chandrika; I haven't yet decided if I'm going to answer male or female."

David Simon said...

"I must be getting old. Ben Kingsley in that diaper just doesn't turn me on like it did twenty years ago." "You are getting old. You're remembering Richard Gere in King David."

divine miss m said...

Since its start more than 50 years ago, the Tupperware Party has become a worldwide phenomenon, providing millions of women with an enjoyable, one-of-a-kind shopping experience.

David Simon said...

The Bombay Women's Club seemed to concur: Arundhati Roy is one crazy bitch.

David Simon said...

The sight of Rosie O'Donnell in a sari had everyone in the room wondering why they worshipped cows.

prince of leaves said...

After eighty-odd years, Jayshree suddenly clues in to what a lingam really is.

Dan Spomer said...

Y'all are missing a fairly good caption contest over on LGF. Not bad....

Van Helsing said...

"Have some patience, Grandma. She'll start taking her clothes off as soon as she's let the anticipation build."

Cybrludite said...

My co-worker Fredo has to demonstrate his "endowments" to his future in-laws in what his finacee swears is an ancient Hindu ritual. That's her giggling in the back with the shades on.

WALSTIB said...

So you say it's called the "G" spot?? Hmmm...

Rodney Dill said...

"Ain't that s'posed to be bigger?"

champaignken said...

Hooters looks to out source its waitresses to India. Ms. Patel isn't sure what a chicken wing is (or what hooters are).

Submariner said...

So THAT'S what a "hoo-hoo-dilly" is supposed to look like...

Submariner said...

Hermione wasn't pleased with the latest Defense Against the Dark Arts professor's example of the results of an "Agemonius Cuntas-Cruciatiatus Curse." On the other hand, Professor Snape was tickled purple.

Submariner said...

Motel 6 Management Training Seminar, Day 1; Sheet recycling techniques...

Submariner said...

And western men eat those?