Thursday, June 29, 2006

Cage Match

1. For a moment, Andrew Sullivan was thisclose to being cured of his Abu Ghraib torture fetish.

2. Rosie O'Donnell and Babs Streisand were determined to settle who was the Queen of the limousine whackjob liberals.

3. Tempers flare during Hour Two of Cindy Sheehan's hunger strike.

4. Somebody dropped a McNugget, and there was only one way to settle it.

5. Magritte's Ceci n'est pas une bataille de chat erotique.

6. The Gay Culture's most effective recruiting tool... for men.

7. Bi? Gay? Questioning? Or just drawn to the spectacle of two fat chicks wailing on each other?

8. "No, children, never go into the Black Forest," warned Sully the Wizard. "It's dark, and tangly, and smells terrible."

9. The Indigo Girls Audition Cage Dancers.

10. Of course, a Facts of Life movie could also be a bad thing...

Best of Rodney Dill
It was the queefing of Somewhere Over the Rainbow that brought tears to my eyes... literally.

Best of Silhouette
But there's no ceiling! All they have to do is lift themselves up over the... Uh, now that I think about, it is escape-proof.

Free Moooo-mia.

Best of The Man
Sign on cage: Don't feed the fat chicks.

After a night of heavy drinking, Bob picked up a couple of hot chicks who were dressed as Catholic School Girls. Bob realized that he had a drinking problem when he woke up in a cage with 2 naked, fat hippies.

Best of Submariner
OBR: "Andrea Dworkin, I wish I knew how to quit you."

So; which Clinton you interning for?

Being granted their wish to be worshipped, Rosie O'Donnell and Roseann Barr are prepared for shipment to New Delhi.

Best of Van Helsing
Neither will leave the cage alive; the winner has to stay in and fight Hillary.

ORA Inspired by Van Helsing
"Two Cows Enter! One Cow Leaves! Two Cows Enter! One Cow Leaves!"

Best of jeff
The most misdirected captive breeding program ever.

Best of Adjustah
It was only then that Zap Brannigan knew that "Death by Snoo Snoo" was not going to be as sextacular as he'd hoped.

...but would the manatees breed in captivity?

Best of Merovign
Well, can you think of a better place to keep them?


Source: Mike and Zane
Thanks for the Lid, Timmeh!

26 comments:

Rodney Dill said...

Well if PETA doesn't want men to eat meat they picked the right example.

Rodney Dill said...

It was the queefing of Somewhere Over the Rainbow that brought tears to my eyes... literally.

Fish-Lips said...

"So where's all the cuckoo clocks and hams?"

Silhouette said...

But there's no ceiling! All they have to do is lift themselves up over the... Uh, now that I think about, it is escape-proof.

The Man said...

Sign on cage: Don't feed the fat chicks.

The Man said...

After a night of heavy drinking, Bob picked up a couple of hot chicks who were dressed as Catholic School Girls. Bob realized that he had a drinking problem when he woke up in a cage with 2 naked, fat hippies.

Silhouette said...

Free Moooo-mia.

Submariner said...

Chained Heat Redux? The only heat in this flick comes when their thighs rub together and start fires...

Submariner said...

Andrea Dworkin, I wish I knew how to quit you.

Submariner said...

After the spectacle completed, the Boston City Council repealed all sanctions against bear-baiting as "...far more humane entertainment."

Submariner said...

Children spontaneously broke into chants of "Free Willy! Free Willy!" Many were confused, asking "What happened to Willy's black markings?"

Zeke said...

Does that chick on the right have a mustache?
..I think I just threw up a little bit in my throat..

Zeke said...

As the days of the contest continued the Radio broadcasters were amazed at the ability of the Fat one to consume her oponents yet maintain her milk white skin. Surely this was the sign of the Beast.

Van Helsing said...

Neither will leave the cage alive; the winner has to stay in and fight Hillary.

jeff said...

Suddenly the argument against zoos made much more sense.

The most misdirected captive breeding program ever.

Adjustah said...

It was only then that Zap Brannigan knew that "Death by Snoo Snoo" was not going to be as sextacular as he'd hoped.

Submariner said...

♪No-buddy know de trubble I'se seen...♪

Submariner said...

Cap This Klassic Redux
So; which Clinton you interning for?

Submariner said...

Nothin' to see here, folks. Just Prough91's girlfriends waiting for their "weekly toss." Please move along...

Submariner said...

Though somewhat embarassing, locking the cage until the mark gave an "acceptable tip" for the lap-dance improved Margo's income a hundrefold.

Submariner said...

inspired by David Simon:

Being granted their wish to be worshipped, Rosie O'Donnell and Roseann Barr are prepared for shipment to New Delhi.

Submariner said...

ORA:

O'Donnell: "What are you doing?"
Streisand: "Adjusting your breasts. You fainted and they shifted all out of whack."

Submariner said...

Same ORA:

If you need me, just call. You know how to dial, don't you? You just put your finger in the hole and make tiny little circles.

prince of leaves said...

"So...the cage is just a representation of the patriarchy's gynophobic oppression of wymyn? I dunno, these bars seem awful tangible for a metaphor..."

Merovign said...

Well, can you think of a better place to keep them?

Adjustah said...

...but would the manatees breed in captivity?