Friday, June 16, 2006

Brokeback Pitch

1. The Fighting Vodaphones were famous for their "come from behind" victories.

2. I always thought the reason Americans didn't like soccer was because it was so frackin' gay.

3. "Oh, yeah, take it, bitch. Take it real deep, bitch. I'm ready to shoot RIGHT NOW."

4. Obviously, neither one is a goalie, since only goalies are allowed to touch balls with their hands.

5. It started out in locker rooms, then rest areas, then public rest rooms, but eventually, their obssession with public sex required an entire stadium of onlookers to be satiated.

6. Is this what Andrew Sullivan means when he says "gob-smacking?"

7. ORA: "I am a star. I'm a star, I'm a star, I'm a star. I am a big, bright, shining star."

8. Todd's binge drinking and Ronaldo's urophilia complemented each other nicely.

9. "Another snakebite? Oh, Senor, you are the unluckiest man I know."

10. "Hey, what do you say later, we go pound the crap into Pedro and Leon."

Best of Rodney Dill
"It's Ronaldo, you call me Maurice one more time and I'm biting it off."

"GOOOOOAAAAAALLLLLL!!!!!"

"Oh Bugger." "Later, Darling"

Best of Son Of The Godfather
♪ "Oh, sweet mystery of life at last I've found you!..." ♪

Who knew about Tommy Smothers' sordid past?

Liberals often try to push the homosexual agenda in subtle, unnoticeable ways.

What, were they out of Gatorade?

"Are you sure???... Well OK, but I've never heard of checking for steroid use that way..."

People would wonder no longer why Renaldo's nickname was Lord of the Flies.

Best of lawhawk
OT: It's deep and I don't think it's playable.

Best of Submariner
Q - Know how to tell the difference between Ronaldo and a housewife?
A - One holds his own head down...

"It's just a jump to the left,
and then a step to the right.
Put your hands on your hips,
And bring your knees in tight.
But it's the pelvic thru-u-u-ust
That really drives you insa-ay-ay-ay-ay-ane..."


Inspired by SOTG
"You like? I learned it when the UN Peacekeepers came to my village."

Best of sonicfrog
Ah man, you're good Rolando,... but you're no Jerry Lewis...

Best of What, me worry?
“You’ll have to get closer to the Vodaphone’s mouthpiece…closer…”

“Look Ma! No hands!”

Al-Zaqawi, also known as Ranoldo in Paradise™, “gets busy” on one of his 72 virgins.

Sports commentator Andrew Sullivan, on Ronaldo’s technique: “A true professional, notice his ability to work it up the middle without touching the balls with his hands.”

Best of curly
Vodaphone demonstrates their new hands-free, blew tooth Dictaphone.

Ronal will…Ronal do…Ronal did

Best of prince of leaves
Dear World Soccer Magazine: I never believed those letters you print were real, but I recently had an experience at the World Cup that I just had to share...

Inspired by Submariner
Bill Clinton is so popular in Germany, they themed the half-time show around him.

Best of Bubbalove
"Mmmph..Mmmph..this is the..Mmmph.. biggest one yet..Mmmph..now if I..Mmmph..can just make myself go down..Mmmmph...all the way..Mmmph..I can change my number to nine!"

Hat Tip: Denver Pyle
Soure: Yar

57 comments:

Rodney Dill said...

"It's Ronaldo, you call me Maurice one more time and I'm biting it off."

Rodney Dill said...

(Obligatory Deja vu)

"GOOOOOAAAAAALLLLLL!!!!!"

Rodney Dill said...

AP BREAKING: Players attempt to alter one of the main complaints Soccer detractors have, the long time periods between scoring.

Rodney Dill said...

"Oh Bugger."
"That's later"

Son Of The Godfather said...

Will the Abu Ghraib photos never cease?

Son Of The Godfather said...

"Oh, sweet mystery of life at last I've found you!..."

Son Of The Godfather said...

Old truck-stop habits are hard to break.

Son Of The Godfather said...

Apologies in advance!:

"Submariner! What are you doing with Rodney's Dill?!?"

Son Of The Godfather said...

Who knew about Tommy Smothers' sordid past?

Son Of The Godfather said...

Ah... THAT'S how Ronaldo got to be on the starting team.

Son Of The Godfather said...

Ronaldo misunderstands Kyle's wish to "get ahead" in the game.

Son Of The Godfather said...

What unfortunate timing for a snake bite!

Son Of The Godfather said...

We call this photo "The Sullivan Sit-up".

Son Of The Godfather said...

Liberals often try to push the homosexual agenda in subtle, unnoticeable ways.

Son Of The Godfather said...

What, were they out of Gatorade?

Rodney Dill said...

"I wish this was baseball, I could so use a double-header."

(I think you need to look at the Jerry Lewis picture again SOTG)

Son Of The Godfather said...

Did the announcer just say there's a flag on that player?

Son Of The Godfather said...

Hollywood reveals the new poster for its remake of Stand and Deliver.

Son Of The Godfather said...

Ironically, Ronaldo's last name is "Bobbin".

Son Of The Godfather said...

Answer: "Because 7 8 9!"

Son Of The Godfather said...

"Are you sure???... Well OK, but I've never heard of checking for steroid use that way..."

lawhawk said...

OT:
It's deep and I don't think it's playable.

Just a bit outside.

He's not phat, he's big boned.


This picture has got to be worth a caption or 200. Although it is probably too easy for V the K to do...

linky (it's #10 in the series - bridezilla rampage).

Submariner said...

Son Of The Godfather said...
Apologies in advance!:

"Submariner! What are you doing with Rodney's Dill?!?"



bwahahahahahaahahaha - yes, you'll pay... ;-)

Submariner said...

ORA:

Someone's been practising!

Submariner said...

Q - Know how to tell the difference between Ronaldo and a housewife?

A - One holds his own head down...

Submariner said...

return apologies in advance, buddy ;-)

SOTG enjoyed Ronaldo's attentions ok, but fantasized what he'd be doing to Andrew Sullivan if he could...

Submariner said...

hmmmm; Uh, Ronaldo - isn't there normally a wall between "glory hole" buddies?

Submariner said...

"It's just a jump to the left,
and then a step to the right.
Put your hands on your hips,
And bring your knees in tight.
But it's the pelvic thru-u-u-ust
That really drives you insa-ay-ay-ay-ay-ane..."


verification word - imbegg

Submariner said...

ORA:

"Hi. I'm Paulie the Penis. And I just love to have fun. Ha Ha Ha."

Son Of The Godfather said...

Submariner said...
return apologies in advance, buddy ;-)
SOTG enjoyed Ronaldo's attentions ok, but fantasized what he'd be doing to Andrew Sullivan if he could...


Hah! ORA: Not that there's anything worong with that... ;)

Son Of The Godfather said...

Moby's new music video was troubling to some.

Crap, I just realized my "snakebite" cap was in V's #9... Minus 1 point - SOTG

Son Of The Godfather said...

People would wonder no longer why Renaldo's nickname was Lord of the Flies.

Son Of The Godfather said...

Is this World Cup Soccer or Tonsil Hockey?

Son Of The Godfather said...

Worst job ever?...
Towel boy for the Fighting Vodaphones.

Son Of The Godfather said...

U.N. Peacekeepers, doing what they do best.

Submariner said...

SOTG's "UN Peacekeepers" is a keeper. classic! V. - nominated for 'Best O' the Year' compilation.
(And I almost used the same Seinfeld ref for your original post.)

sonicfrog said...

Ah man, you're good Rolando,... but you're no Jerry Lewis...

What, me worry? said...

“You’ll have to get closer to the Vodaphone’s mouthpiece…closer…”

This model of Vodaphone is definitely touch tone.

“Look Ma! No hands!”

Voice Over “I Pee”

curly said...

Vodaphone demonstrates their new hands-free, blew tooth Dictaphone.

curly said...

Ronal will…Ronal do…Ronal did

curly said...

Speak to the gland, not to the face.

Frank IBC said...

Speaking Truth To {x}Power{/x} Penis.

(Hey, the "word verification" thingie says "f-dildo" right now. WTF?)

Frank IBC said...

More from the Brokeback Cup

Submariner said...

♪ Eh, Macarena! ♪

Submariner said...

ORA?

"Hey Goose you big stud!"
"That's me, honey."
"Take me to bed or lose me forever."
"Show me the way home, honey."

prince of leaves said...

Dear World Soccer Magazine: I never believed those letters you print were real, but I recently had an experience at the World Cup that I just had to share...

prince of leaves said...

"Yeah, man, I know this is all just part of the normal 'new-guy hazing', but I've been on the team longer than you have!"

prince of leaves said...

His teammates sought to improve Ronaldo's goaltending by punishing him with pushups after every missed goal.

Kevin Walker said...

...Then Andrew Sullivan's alarm clock went off.

"I'll take 'Dreams Andrew Sullivan Has Had' for 200, Alex."

Submariner said...

If Bill Clinton played soccer in college...

Frank IBC said...

And yet another...

What, me worry? said...

Ronaldo uses his head when told to insert fifty cents for three more minutes at the Vodophone payphone.

What, me worry? said...

Al-Zaqawi, also known as Ranoldo in Paradise™, “gets busy” on one of his 72 virgins.

Sports commentator Andrew Sullivan, on Ronaldo’s technique: “A true professional, notice his ability to work it up the middle without touching the balls with his hands.”

Soccer or sucker?

Submariner said...

Ronaldo, misunderstood when he stated he would like an "all-day soccer," decided to make the most of the opportunity.

Bubbalove said...

Ronaldo thought bubble:

"Mmmph..Mmmph..this is the..Mmmph.. biggest one yet..Mmmph..now if I..Mmmph..can just make myself go down..Mmmmph...all the way..Mmmph..I can change my number to nine!"

Submariner said...

No, I said "pull my fing..." oh what the heck. "When in Rome..." etc. etc. etc.

Army of Dad said...

Hearing that Wayne had a broken metatarsal bone and that he would need extra treatment before he could play again this season Ronaldo immediately volunteered.

However it quickly became apparent that Ronaldo knew nothing about anatomy.