Saturday, June 24, 2006

Blasty From the Pasty

1. "Now, Mr. Clinton can be sort of awkward, he'll usually cop a feel and then drop trou and expect you to know what to do, but it's all pretty simple and rather quaint in its way. Mrs. Clinton on the other hand, gets right to the point and whips out the leather and chains. The bruises go away after a few days, but you may need a few weeks at a spa to recover psychologically."

2. "Thanks, Mary Jo, for bringing these accounting irregularities to our attention. You're right, in the wrong hands, it might look like someone was paying the mob to supply him with hookers. Senator Kennedy is so grateful, he wanted to know if you'd like to join him at his family's place in Chappaquiddick this weekend."

3. "That's a lovely bow, Marlene. What do you say we go back to my place and I'll see if I can untie it with my tongue."

4. "So, that Calvin Klein guy knocked you up and then disappeared? Well, don't worry about it. Just marry that McFly guy real quick and no one will be the wiser."

5. "Marlene, there's a dead woodchuck on my desk. Do you know anything about it?"

6. "Oh, Marlene... there are so many things a woman can do for another woman that a man could never do."

7. "A, B, C, E, D, H, K... no, that's not it... A, B, D, F, E, H, I, Q, Batman Symbol ... no,that's not it..." Linda hated teaching blonds how to file.

8. "You don't have to be crazy to work here... just have a bounteous rack."

9. "I see you've got a little 'afterglow' on your dress. Here, let me get it."

10. "Marlene, your desk is vibrating. Better set it to low..."

Source: Office Pirates
Hat Tip: Submariner

7 comments:

nevergrewup said...

"Oh, don't worry hon, we all let a wet one get by every now and then. Just use this tissue and wipe off the seat before the end of the shift."

Rodney Dill said...

"My name is Andrea Dworkin, why to you ask?"

prince of leaves said...

"But Marge, however did you get Maintenance to install its 220-volt supply under your desk?"

prince of leaves said...

"[squeeeeep!]Darnit, Marge, that red bean casserole recipe of yours should come with a warning label!"

prince of leaves said...

"Sure, Bob's been wondering why I've been walking funny and wearing such a big smile all week...but sister, what happens in Tijuana, stays in Tijuana!"

prince of leaves said...

Betty and Helen reenact the moment when they got the idea that would become Preparation H.

Submariner said...

Oh Madge! Ever since I saw bob lose his suit in the pool, and you said I could enjoy the "benefits" too? I've just been SOOOO happy!