1. "I like you Phil. I'm not giving you the promotion, but would you care to spend the weekend at my place on Fire Island."
2. "Oh, I wouldn't worry about your son, Mr Sullivan. Lots of boys go through a stage where they dress up like a fairy princess and sodomize themselves with a frozen kielbasa."
3. "So, then Dwight walked right in on me in a leather mask and Mitsy riding the pool boy with a strap-on, but Father Shanley assures us that with a lot of private counseling, he should be perfectly fine by the time he's in his teens."
4. "Anyway, Mitsy and I converted to Scientology, and now we have a swap every Thursday. So, what do you say, Old Bean? Do you think Muffy would be game?"
5. "C'mon Old Boy. If you welcome the fire, you'll be with the Lord today. Don't you want to be with the Lord?"
6. "And so I bricked up Prough91 into the fireplace, and claimed all the Smelly Pirate Hooker Captions as my own."
7. "And so, you now have the terms of our wager: Survive the night, and I'll give you your freedom."
8. "Well, the vasectomy didn't take, so I had the damned thing cut off. What the hell do I need it for anymore, anyway?"
9. "So you see, Tad. 9-11 was entirely the work of the gawdam Jooos!"
10. "OK, so I'm not a single, Orlando Bloom lookalike, ... but you're not a 13-year-old nymphomaniac, either."
Vis: Office Pirates on a tip from Submariner