Sunday, June 25, 2006

Blasty From the Pasty

1. "I like you Phil. I'm not giving you the promotion, but would you care to spend the weekend at my place on Fire Island."

2. "Oh, I wouldn't worry about your son, Mr Sullivan. Lots of boys go through a stage where they dress up like a fairy princess and sodomize themselves with a frozen kielbasa."

3. "So, then Dwight walked right in on me in a leather mask and Mitsy riding the pool boy with a strap-on, but Father Shanley assures us that with a lot of private counseling, he should be perfectly fine by the time he's in his teens."

4. "Anyway, Mitsy and I converted to Scientology, and now we have a swap every Thursday. So, what do you say, Old Bean? Do you think Muffy would be game?"

5. "C'mon Old Boy. If you welcome the fire, you'll be with the Lord today. Don't you want to be with the Lord?"

6. "And so I bricked up Prough91 into the fireplace, and claimed all the Smelly Pirate Hooker Captions as my own."

7. "And so, you now have the terms of our wager: Survive the night, and I'll give you your freedom."

8. "Well, the vasectomy didn't take, so I had the damned thing cut off. What the hell do I need it for anymore, anyway?"

9. "So you see, Tad. 9-11 was entirely the work of the gawdam Jooos!"

10. "OK, so I'm not a single, Orlando Bloom lookalike, ... but you're not a 13-year-old nymphomaniac, either."

Vis: Office Pirates on a tip from Submariner

13 comments:

Son Of The Godfather said...

"So, enough of the pleasantries. When do we discuss the squadrons of rabid lambs?"

prince of leaves said...

"Why, yes, Dr. Lecter, I'd love to stay for dinner! What are we having?"

prince of leaves said...

"The bad news is, the doctor tells me I need a heart, lung, and liver transplant. The good news is, you're not actually my son, Billy, you're my organ clone."

floranista said...

...I wish Bob hadn't told me that he's wearing his wife's pink panties and matching garter belt...I wonder if he can tell this smile is frozen on my face...good lord, I need to grab Edith and get the hell outta here...

prince of leaves said...

"Bob, my boy, I can't thank you enough for that box of fresh prairie squid...why, I'm using one right now!"

Rodney Dill said...

"... and yes, I just crapped my pants too."

David Simon said...

ORA:

"Yeah, my wife is banging the guy who plays the President on 24. But I'm still getting plenty of head."

nevergrewup said...

"By golly, thats a swell idea. We'll call it NAMBLA. Why should the Catholic Priests and the Boy Scouts have all the fun? Your boy and my boy can be the first to sign up."

Silhouette said...

"I don't know what got into Darren at the office but he swears he'll explain it all and show you a great idea for the ad campaign."

Silhouette said...

First time visitors to the offices of The Rolling Stone are often surprised at the level of decorum.

Submariner said...

Why'm I s'happy? Ginger and Mary Ann, old boy! Lovey doesn't know it, but we're all going on a short cruise together...

Submariner said...

SOTG and Submariner reminisce about the old days when there were only a couple of "Best O' SOTG" entries with V.'s...

Submariner said...

So, Bill; once she bends over say, "You look like you could use a cigar, Monica." See what develops after that...