1. "Goodbye. Me am Bizarro Michael Jackson. Me find adult women sexually appealing. Sane Sister LaToya agrees neither. Hello."
2. "Fools! I wanted him in a pirate suit, not a Phantom of the Opera Mask!"
3. Even Boyfinger's most die-hard fans began to get a little creeped out after the fourth time he serenaded the child with "The Greatest Love Of All."
4. "I warned you I'd throw acid in your face if you so much as looked at another boy, biyatch!"
5. "Pssst, Raoul. I got a hot one here. Go put some Jesus Juice in a sippy cup."
6. There's something so Twilight Zone about a hideously disfigured man who makes everyone around him wear a mask.
7. "I had to sell the Neverland Ranch. For some reason, once it turned fifteen years old I just lost interest in it."
8. Zombie Jackie O. rises from the grave to feed upon the brains of the living.
Best of Rodney Dill
"Nice try, but you've got to drink some Jesus Juice with me to turn white, kid."
Best of sonicfrog
Revealed at last!!! Michael Jackson carries the mutant Kuato. That explains the secrecy, the bizarre behavior, and the children-in-the-bedroom privacy. Kuato needs friends too!!!
Best of Son Of The Godfather
Hey V, how 'bout posting something less offensive... Like that gorilla f*cking that dude in the *ss.
Best of jeff
Kwan looks on in sadness at his new replacement. The Jesus Juice bar had come to an end for him.
Best of David Simon
"When did you cut the eyes out of the blindfold I gave you?! Just remember, if anyone asks if you saw me sodomizing your brother, the answer is no."
"It was humiliating. They wanted photographs of my peepee, so I had to take it out and show it to them...like this."
Best of Submariner
Oh, this? It's only a cold sore. You trust daddy, don't you?
Best of prince of leaves
[hissing] "He's mine, LaTourneau! MINE!!!"
Source: Ass Press/Shuji Kajiyama
Hat Tip: Divine Miss M