1. Attendees at the National Teacher's Convention show off their dates.
2. "The hookers are cool, but the next time we catch Dad dressed as Aunt Bea getting whipped by a stern leatherman, let's hold out for cars."
3. "Hey, baby. Just call me 'Harry Potter,' and I'll show you my chamber of secrets."
4. Todd was sure that by now the chicks would have realized he and Chad weren't really Hollywood casting agents looking for the right actress to play opposite Leo diCaprio in Titanic II, but they were even dumber than he had hoped.
5. "Hey Stewie, thanks for inviting us to your sexy party."
6. The kid's table at the Playboy mansion.
7. "Come on Lolita and Tanqueray, there have got to be risers around here somewhere."
8. "The best part about about being guys is we get older, and our chicks stay the same age. Thank you, Hugh Hefner, for showing us the way."
Best of Cheez Weasel
Astro Glide? Oh yea, I think thats a time warp thingy Halo 2.
Best of Divine Miss M
"I asked Dad if he'd give me $10 for a guinea pig, and he said 'Here's $20, son; go find yourself a smelly pirate hooker instead.'"
Best of Son Of The Godfather
I guess telling people you're "Bill Gates Jr." has some effect.
Best of Jason
Dude, this is so awesome. We're gonna score with the Bush Twins!
Best of The Man
Another successful sting nets more DHS employees.
Best of Rodney Dill
"Hey, baby. Just call me 'Harry Potter,' I'm a prisoner of Assgrabbin'"
Best of AM42
"I gotta tell ya, Timmy... I had my doubts, but this Axe crap totally rocks!"
Best of jeff
For Chad and Todd, selling their internet startup to Microsoft was the beginning of a lifestyle out of a teenage dream.
Best of Submariner
Somethin' tells me ol' Cromb D. Fitch must a got that hairstyle by smoothin' it down with his own tongue. I'm just sayin'
I deal in human fulfillment. I grossed over eight thousand dollars in one night. Time of your life, huh kid?
Best of T. Harris
Cromb D. Fitch: That wonderful tit mashed against my shoulder is SEARED into my memory. That should come in handy in the shower tonight.
Best of jeff
"Hey girls - how'd you like to see our rubber raft?"
Best of Kay
"Can I put my wand in YOUR Goblet of Fire?"
Best of Anonymous
Say what you will, but that smile on Cromb D. Fitch's face says it all: "There's not a gay bone in my body.*"
* - Man, does this ever beg an Andrianna Sullington reference