Thursday, May 18, 2006

Wagons Ho!

1. OBR: "Welcome to the Brokeback Inn, my name is Larry, how can I help you."

2. Another outbreak of 'Tawny Kitaen Syndrome' is reported in Wyoming.

3. "Must.....reach....utility...belt!"

4. They grow up so fast. It seems like only yesterday she was a chubby freshman boy in a sequined halter top.

5. "Kennedy loves it when I ride on his back and dig the spurs into his buttocks."

6. Hillary loved her taut, perky breasts, but it was the warm human blood pulsing through her neck veins that got Nancy Pelosi excited.

7. "Oohh! So that's why they call it a saddle-horn!"

8. "OMG, I've never seen anything so gorgeous," gushed Andrew Sullivan. "Where did you get those fabulous boots?"

9. Why should pirates have all the fun?

10. "Thanks, but I said I need a posse."

I saw this on Discarded Lies, but I forget where it came from or who posted it. Sorry.

43 comments:

Rodney Dill said...

Shouldn't the title be Wagon Hos, instead of Wagons Ho?

Rodney Dill said...

I'm sure getting a lot of cell phone web traffic since I advertised my web cam in that Japanese magazine.

Rodney Dill said...

10. "Thanks, but I said I need a posse."

"....and the horse you rode in on."

(rimshot)

The Man said...

Sir, you have a package at the front desk.

WhoopsieDaisey said...

Meanwhile, back at the raunch, Grandma keeps beating off the Indians (but they keep cumming and cumming...)

David Simon said...

Andrew Sullivan's jaw dropped: "Look at the salt stains on her boots! What kind of an idiot wears suede in the rain?"

David Simon said...

"Okay 26, you can have my sloppy 25ths."

divine miss M said...

"Lines form to the left. Have the correct change. Keep the line moving. Next!"

sonicfrog said...

... now where did I put those darned keys - - Oh, here they are...

What, me worry? said...

Trying to induce vomiting after he accidentally swallowed poison, Barney Frank knew a strip tease by a beautiful blonde would do the trick.

In Michael Jackson’s recurring nightmare, he is forced to retrieve a message from the horny hotel Concierge.

What, me worry? said...

Welcome to the (master)Bates Hotel.

(verification ifscky..."the only thing missing is you" said the blonde temptress)...

Silhouette said...

Billie Jo's, Bobbie Jo's, and Betty Jo's cousin Barbie Ho helps out at the Shady Rest on this week's Petticoat Junction.

What, me worry? said...

Trying to induce vomiting after he accidentally swallowed poison but realizing that stuffing fingers in his throat would only get him horny, Barney Frank knew a strip tease by a beautiful blonde would do the trick.

andthenblammo! said...

"Hey, anybody see my cell phone? I keep dialing my own number hoping I can track it by the ringing...wait, maybe I left it set on vibrate".......

Silhouette said...

What hotel is this? Oh, must be a Hilton.

Anonymous said...

Oh.....come on! I don't believe it!
A rotary phone still exists???

prince of leaves said...

Sheila was surprised when she opened her eyes and found the entire bell staff waiting expectantly before her, until she realized that sharp pain in her left buttock was the desk bell, and that that ringing hadn't actually been in her ears after all.

prince of leaves said...

Owstralian for "Vibrating Hotel Bed".

prince of leaves said...

Welcome to the Hotel Fornicalia.

Submariner said...

Though they didn't have honor bars in the rooms, mints on the pillows or any of the other usual amenities, the "No Tell Motel" did surprisingly well with the one guest feature they DID offer...

Submariner said...

The invisible man was always a hit at the company parties.

Submariner said...

The reaction was unusually fast when I mentioned to Candi that "Submariners do it deeper."

Submariner said...

Barney Frank nodded towards the blond and said "I'll have what she's having...

Submariner said...

Andrew was apalled; "Suede boots and a smooth belt?!?"

Submariner said...

Looks like she's a Martina McBride fan - she's definitely experiencing independence day...

Submariner said...

ORA:

Hey lady; did you order a pepperoni pizza? Well here's the pizza, and here's the pepperoni!
twang-chikka-chikka-boom-boom

Submariner said...

The reaction was unusually fast when I mentioned to Candi that "Submariners can breathe through their ears."

Son Of The Godfather said...

"Miss?... I said I'd like to check the key slot... Oh, I get it!"

Son Of The Godfather said...

"Hello, front desk?... I'm looking for a cozy little space... Could you fit me in?"

Son Of The Godfather said...

My heros have ALWAYS been cowgirls.

Son Of The Godfather said...

"I'm in 22A, bring the hat and boots... and stirrups if ya got 'em."

What, me worry? said...

Unable to keep her calves together, the temptress made a terrible cowgirl.

What, me worry? said...

"What does a girl have to get service in this dump"?

What, me worry? said...

Sue was very excited about the room rate she was given.

nevergrewup said...

"Wait a minute. Isn't there supposed to be a twelve inch model of a oil derrick in this picture?"

Anonymous said...

"Ohhh...Dick Cheney...Mmmmm...Ohhh!"

Six Degrees of Blondness said...

"Ah, Mr. Smith...I see you are a Platinum Awards member. Here is your complimentary hottie. Now, would you like a wake-up call?"

Submariner said...

Uh, yeah, Ms. Six Degrees of Blondness, she's really nice and all, but I asked for my frequent guest perks, not perkies...

jbinnout said...

New eatery "Pink Taco" opens booth at the job fair. All applications gladly accepted. Our motto "We won't rest untill 1 million are served."

http://www.sondrak.com/index.php/weblog/fish_taco/

Submariner said...

Candi murmured; "My heroes have always been cowboys... Most of my fantasies, too."

attmay said...

V,

That headline is a misnomer. I don't see any wagons!

Anonymous said...

Another Journalism major enters the workforce...

radio free fred said...

Tabasco Sauce Is Not A Good Lubricant.