Tuesday, May 09, 2006

Trustafarian Hippie Throwdown

1. A real Power Dyke wouldn't need a T-Shirt reading "Power Dyke."

2. After dishonoring their families, Rita and Berenice were doomed to walk the Earth, drumming and engaging in pitched farting contests.

3. "When the Shadow of the Moon Goddess rises upon our drumming... is that when we slaughter anything with testicles?"

4. "Sometimes, when I hold my drum like this, I imagine I'm crushing a man's head between my thighs."

5. "Hypothetically speaking, do you think anyone would be stupid enough to superglue a drum between her thighs?"

6. Pranksters trick Selma Hayek and Ellen DeGeneres in to a 'Free Tito Puente' Rally.

7. "You think my girl Cindy's gonna be impressed with that cheap-ass weave? Outta the ditch, bitch. She's mine!"

8. "Yarrr, ye be needin' a shower, I reckon."

Best of jeff
The rest of the students wished for unconciousness due to malnutrition to show it's effects as soon as possible.

Secretly, their girlfriends hoped that the hunger strike would last at least 20-30lbs.

Best of What, me worry?
"My drum skin is made from dried testicles. What's your's made of?"

Best of Mr. Right
♪Day-o, day-o!♪
♪Moonbats come an' me wan' go home...♪

Best of Son Of The Godfather
How else are we gonna get our sweat if they close down all the shops?

I'm sure the kid working on his umpteenth million Nike in China appreciates the efforts of privledged lesbian chicks giving up Cheetos for a week.

You'd think chicks shaped like this would be FOR wearing sweats.

Best of Submariner
We are the power dykes that say "Nih!" >thump<

♪ Listen, children, to a story that was written long ago. ♪
♪ 'Bout a queen-dom on a mountain and the sweatshops in the valley below... ♪

Best of Rodney Dill
The ritual had started in hopes that Pelosi would show up to put a finger in the Dyke.

"C'mon, if we get the beat just right, I bet we can get the President and that black man in the robe to dance together."

Best of Zeke
Their drumming ended tragically when the power dyke and the fattie accidentially drummed in a freak thunderstorm, a demon from the seventh level, and Ralph Nader in his true form. Simultaniously washing the world clean of their taco smell and replacing the campus with a wind farm that killed everything in a fifty mile radius.

Best of WhoopsieDaisey
Michael Jackson also did a rendition of "Beat It" but unlike these two "very special friends," he was thinking of boys.

Source: The Conjecturer. Hat Tip: Timmeh!

35 comments:

sonicfrog said...

Well, now we know where Nancy Pelosi's excised facial skin ended up!

Word Verification: rfuns

jeff said...

The rest of the students wished for unconciousness due to malnutrition to show it's effects as soon as possible.

When victimized minority advocasies collide:
"Hey - that's an African drum! White girls can't play that!

Secretly, their girlfriends hoped that the hunger strike would last at least 20-30lbs.

JAINPHX said...

I'm aman pretending to be a woman and your a woman pretending to be a man Who knew.

JAINPHX said...

I'm a man pretending to be a woman, and your a woman pretending to be a man who knew.

What, me worry? said...

"Noam Chomsky's all right...for a guy"!

"Did you hear that the poor Mexican illegals were threatening to shut down all burrito making in the US? As long as the leave fish tacos alone -- I use them as potpouri -- then I support their cause against the evil Bush regime".

"My drum skin is made from dried testicles. What's your's made of?"

What, me worry? said...
This comment has been removed by a blog administrator.
Little Miss Chatterbox said...

I linked to you and your latest Tivo blogging. It was awesome this week!!

What, me worry? said...

With some fan fare, they last two sweat hogs finally leave and thereby end the week-long END SWEATS hunger strike.

Mr. Right said...

♪Day-o, day-o!♪
♪Moonbats come an' me wan' go home...♪

Son Of The Godfather said...

How else are we gonna get our sweat if they close down all the shops?

Son Of The Godfather said...

Ironically, the drums were mass produced in deplorable conditions in North Korea.

Son Of The Godfather said...

I'm sure the kid working on his umpteenth million Nike in China appreciates the efforts of privledged lesbian chicks giving up Cheetos for a week.

Son Of The Godfather said...

♪ You know the world don't move ♪
♪ To the beat of just one drum. ♪
♪ What might be right for you ♪
♪ May not be right for some... ♪
♪ But it takes different strokes to move the world, yes it does. It takes different strokes to move the world. ♪

Son Of The Godfather said...

"Play Freebird!"

Son Of The Godfather said...

Fox's failed "American Midol".

Son Of The Godfather said...

You'd think chicks shaped like this would be FOR wearing sweats.

T. Harris said...

One 96,000 BTU grill set up across the street: $450
20 lbs. of hamburger: $42
30 T-bones: $125
15 lbs. of baby back ribs: $115
5 gallons of Sweet Baby Ray's Honey Barbecue Sause: $75
Being downwind of ill-informed, pinko, brain-washed college students on hunger strike: priceless

Submariner said...

Tylenol Extra Strength™ For those extreme stupidity, pounding, headaches...

Submariner said...

Moonbeam, this is a hunger strike. How could you have put on 13 pounds?

Easy, I'm "Ramadam fasting;" which means I get to feast after sundown each day...

Submariner said...

We are the power dykes that say "Nih!" >thump<

Submariner said...

"Must stop looking at PD's chest and thinking about having a 'shake' after the protest. Must stop looking..."

Rodney Dill said...

The ritual had started in hopes that Pelosi would show up to put a finger in the Dyke.

Zeke said...

Their drumming ended tragically when the power dyke and the fattie accidentially drummed in a freak thunderstorm, a demon from the seventh level, and Ralph Nader in his true form. Simultaniously washing the world clean of their taco smell and replacing the campus with a wind farm that killed everything in a fifty mile radius.

What, me worry? said...

The Lesbian Drum and Bugle Corp amateurishly ties to keep time with bandleader Nancy Pelosi’s index finger.

Knowing that the drum beating will soon hit a fever pitch by tempting both their hunger and their lust for one another, the man in the sport coat deviously opens a can of tuna at the lesbian protest.

Jonathan said...

ORA:

"Hey-hey! Ho-ho!
This penis party's got to go!
Hey-hey! Ho-ho! ..."

Submariner said...

♪ Listen, children, to a story that was written long ago. ♪
♪ 'Bout a queen-dom on a mountain and the sweatshops in the valley below... ♪

What, me worry? said...

"If I were between your thighs right now, would you beat me like you beat your bongo"?

Rodney Dill said...

Why are blondes like drumheads?

The more you bang them the looser they get.

Rodney Dill said...

Nagin's new hurricane deterrent system for New Orleans.

WhoopsieDaisey said...

Michael Jackson also did a rendition of "Beat It" but unlike these two "very special friends," he was thinking of boys.

Rodney Dill said...

luddite blogging

Rodney Dill said...

WTF happened to the Boobs not Beats hunger strike?

Submariner said...

RD - a case can be made that this IS a hunger strike by boobs...

Rodney Dill said...

"C'mon, if we get the beat just right, I bet we can get the President and that black man in the robe to dance together."

Submariner said...

♪Chick-en, roast beef, tuna-fish!♪
♪Lunchtime come and me wanna go ho-ome...♪
♪Spread those thighs, let me get my wish!♪
♪Lunchtime come and me wanna go home.
♪Day, me say day, me say day, me say day-ay-ay-oh!♪
♪Lunchtime come and me wanna munch some.♪