Wednesday, May 24, 2006

A Special Blend of Psychology and Extreme Violence

1. "Maybe next time you'll remember the safety word, Worms!"

2. Tyler, Jeremy and Mark are embarrassed when all of them show up to the costume party dressed as Jack-Bauer-in-the-Chinese-Cargo-Ship.

3. "New rule. No more three-ways when you're on your period."

4. "Anyway, guys, the STD Clinic said the rash should clear up in about two weeks, but you're probably going to be contagious the rest of your lives. Sorry."

5. "Well, Excuse me Miss Queen Bee, but you didn't tell us NOT to dismember the hostages!"

6. When the pyramid collapsed under the fat cheerleader, the resulting spatter was awesome!

7. Tragedy ensues when Pamela Anderson's breast implants spontaneously explode during a commencement speech.

8. "Why is it the ACLU won't let us say 'Merry Christmas' in school, but participating in Ashura is mandatory?"

9. "That ref is friggin' blind. Normally, a decapitation would merit at least a personal foul."

10. "Gesundheit... and maybe ease off on the cocaine a little."

Best of Son Of The Godfather
Looks like we have some new suspects in the Natalee Holloway case.

As menacing as they wanted to appear, the Mighty Fightin' Lobsters could gain no respect.

"Hey babe, how's about you make me red, white, and blew?"

"Damnit, Heather, get out of this picture until Thursday! And bring your bikini!"

"I'm bored. Let's go home, ask mom if she can be our alibi and watch her freak out."

Best of Rodney Dill
THE PUPPY BLENDER ISN'T FOR EVERYONE!"

"Too bad you guys didn't know what the word 'indelible' means."

Best of jeff
Jenny thought, "It's nice of the boys to mark themselves like that. Now I know which dorks not to date."

Best of The Man
"Do you want to see what else we painted red"

Best of Submariner
Who dares to taint / With vulgar paint / The royal flower bed? / For painting my roses red / Someone will lose his head!

Uh, yeah, about our appearance; we sorta helped Wiley Coyote with a road runner problem before the game...

"Two! Four! Six! Eight! You can watch me masturbate."

Best of Zeke

The guy on the right seems to have just realized that he's not getting laid till this memory is safely buried in both time and space.

Best of champaignken
An Oakland Raider fan tries to ignore the new politically correct version of the Washington Redskins.

Best of Mr. Right
Lord of the Flies II: Roger and Jack still acted like savages, even long after the raft full of cheerleaders had washed up on the beach, making thoughts of rescue seem less pressing for most of the boys.


Best of prince of leaves
"GIGGLING HUMAN GIRL! I WILL ROAST YOU WITH MY INFERNAL FIRE BREATH. HHHHAAACK-cough-spit-cough-wheeeeze! Poof! Pant! Gasp! Ahh, dammit, Tyler, it's so embarrassing when my infernal fire breath cracks like that...I can't wait until this demonic puberty thing is over with"

58 comments:

Son Of The Godfather said...

"It's a Raiders game?!? Boy, am I red faced!"

(V, I ain't touching #3 with a ten-foot pole... literally! ;)

Son Of The Godfather said...

"Sirs, SG-1 reports that the rash is indeed induced by the Priors of the Ori."

Son Of The Godfather said...

If you can't follow the directions for Kool-aid, do you really belong in public?

Son Of The Godfather said...

I know the usual posters at V's blog consider themselves Uber-patriotic, but this "red-state pride" thing HAS to have some boundaries.

Son Of The Godfather said...

OK, OK...

"BRAINS!"

Rodney Dill said...

(girl thinking) "Whew, normally I'm the one that turns red when I'm around pricks."

Rodney Dill said...

"Yes we can do this, its in the Koran!"

Son Of The Godfather said...

Failed Hollywood Crossovers:
Lord of the Flies meets the Raiderettes

Son Of The Godfather said...

Survivor: Tampax Island

Son Of The Godfather said...

Hellboy, in his early years, actually went to a very strict all-demon school.

Son Of The Godfather said...

I hate myself for this...

Looks like we have some new suspects in the Aruba case.

Son Of The Godfather said...

Tom Cruise and Clay Aiken look as youthful as ever, but man, some of those things Scientology makes you do...

Rodney Dill said...

"Whatever!"

Son Of The Godfather said...

What, haven't you seen two well-red boys before?

Son Of The Godfather said...

Girl: "Boys, you might want to try a higher SPF in your next layer of suntan lotion."

Son Of The Godfather said...

As menacing as they wanted to appear, the Mighty Fightin' Lobsters could gain no respect.

Son Of The Godfather said...

A pre-teen Madonna selects her back-up dancers for the high school talent show.

Son Of The Godfather said...

"Dude, that chick just totally shined me on. Tell me the truth, man... Do I have on too much rouge?"

Son Of The Godfather said...

Submariner and Rodney Dill react to Son Of The Godfather's having way too much time on his hands this morning.

Son Of The Godfather said...

"Hey babe, how's about you make me red, white, and blew?"

(Thank you, I'll be here all week. Enjoy the veal!)

Son Of The Godfather said...

"Damnit, Heather, get out of this picture until Thursday! And bring your bikini!"

Son Of The Godfather said...

"We are the Cherry Slushies, feared throughout the land!"

Son Of The Godfather said...

"Here's one you guys may not have heard... What's red, white, and annoying all over?..."

Son Of The Godfather said...

"Won't speak to me, huh? It's cuz I'm a red man isn't it!"

Son Of The Godfather said...

"Suuuuure, you said... Let's get bitten by radioactive spiders, you said... We'll have superpowers, you said..."

Son Of The Godfather said...

"Jerry, I have this horrible feeling after our blackout... I mean my stomach is so full it's about to burst, and I haven't seen Bobby in like, 4 hrs!"

radio free fred said...

"I Am Too Bobby Knight!"

Son Of The Godfather said...

Kid on right just now wondering why they had to color each other's private areas if they're wearing shorts.

Son Of The Godfather said...

"I'm bored. Let's go home, ask mom if she can be our alibi and watch her freak out."

Son Of The Godfather said...

"KHAAAAAAANNN-ie!"

Rodney Dill said...

"THE PUPPY BLENDER ISN'T FOR EVERYONE!"

Jonathan said...

"You did THAT to Andrew Sullivan? Ewww, Joey, that is SO nasty!"

jeff said...

Jenny thought, "It's nice of the boys to mark themselves like that. Now I know which dorks not to date."

"Give you a hug? No way - you'd leave a stain!"

"He'd better hope that washes off - or he'll only get to first base in his dreams..."

The Man said...

"do you want to see what else we painted red"

Rodney Dill said...

"Not my problem, you guys should've known those green rings were blood sausage."

Submariner said...

ORA?

Who dares to taint / With vulgar paint / The royal flower bed? / For painting my roses red / Someone will lose his head!

Submariner said...

>giggle<Looks like the rabbit died, guys...

Submariner said...

Uh, yeah, about our appearance; we sorta helped Wiley Coyote with a road runner problem before the game...

Submariner said...

You do like raw meat, baby?

Submariner said...

ORA:

Lilith: "Two! Four! Six! Eight! You can watch me masturbate."

Submariner said...

Hey boys, want to take the Skin Boat to Tuna Town?

Submariner said...

How about massaging my "cloven hoofs," babe?

Submariner said...

ORA:

Sorry, boys, no time to "do you." I'm looking for the army of the twelve monkeys.

Submariner said...

ORA:

♪Your proposition may be good / But let's have one thing understood: / Whatever it is, I'm against it.♪
♪And even when you've changed it or condensed it, I'm against it!♪

Zeke said...

"The power of Christ compels you, the power of christ compels you!"
Young republican cheerleaders

Zeke said...

Hey Bobby, do you ever get that not so fresh feeling?

Zeke said...

the guy on the right seems to have just realized that he's not getting laid till this memory is safely buried in both time and space.

champaignken said...

A Oakland Raider fan tries to ignore the new politically correct version of the Washington Redskins.

jeff said...

Napolean Dynamite - the early years.

Mr. Right said...

Lord of the Flies II

Roger and Jack still acted like savages, even long after the raft full of cheerleaders had washed up on the beach, making thoughts of rescue seem less pressing for most of the boys.

Mr. Right said...

Hey there, toots! Quit staring at us... so we burn easily --- we're light skinned and hypersensitive to sunlight, OKAY?!?!? Sheesh! You'd think she'd never seen a group of Irish boys after a day at the beach before!

laurie2k said...

*giggling*... "Fit me for a blindfold and a cigarette when I start laughing at people who've just been flayed."

Submariner said...

Jodie giggled; "Whatever the hell look you were going for? You missed."

Rodney Dill said...

"Too bad you guys didn't know what the word 'indelible' means."

Anonymous said...

"GIGGLING HUMAN GIRL! I WILL ROAST YOU WITH MY INFERNAL FIRE BREATH. HHHHAAACK-cough-spit-cough-wheeeeze! Poof! Pant! Gasp! Ahh, dammit, Tyler, it's so embarrassing when my infernal fire breath cracks like that...I can't wait until this demonic puberty thing is over with"

prince of leaves said...

[dangit -- that previous comment was mine, lost the name tag in preview again]

prince of leaves said...

"Inverse" sunblock enjoyed a brief period as a popular prank among the youth as the ozone hole spread across the globe, but ultimately lost its appeal as melanoma suddenly surged to epidemic proportions among teenagers as a result.

prince of leaves said...

"Dammit, Jenny! Look what you did to me!"
"Whatever, Jason -- if you'd asked around before slipping me the roofies, you'd have known I was contagious..."