Wednesday, May 10, 2006

The Secret Garden

1. "So, what you're saying, Guinan, is if I don't allow amnesty for all illegal immigrants, the Federation will never exist?"

2. George Clinton as the Ghost of Christmas Yet-To-Come in UPN's Bush's Funky Christmas Carol.

3. "I realize the Ori are a serious threat, but Teal'c, that is like, the gayest hat you have ever used to hide your Jaffa insignia."

4. ORA -- "Really, Benson? And does the rest of the staff also think I'm a 'jive turkey?'"

5. The curse worked, Dr. Sumbajo. Nancy Pelosi did eat a booger on national TV.

6. Idi Amin returns from the dead and is immediately appointed UN High Commissioner for Human Rights.

7. "Say... a robe like that would definitely make my games of pocket pool more discreet."

8. "Sorry, but I'm not one of the real killers. Yes, I have an alibi. You'll have to cross me off the list. Good luck, though."

9. "Cheney promised you Jenna in return for drilling rights on the Nigerian continental shelf? Well, okay..."

10. "Yeah, I'd sure like to be a shrimp boat captain some day, Bubba."

Best of Rodney Dill
"Nope, I'm pretty sure this isn't Pizmo Beach."

Best of David Simon
"I know it's chilly out here Desmond, but you've got to put that bedspread back in the Lincoln Bedroom."

"You can have your passport back just as soon as you tell Morley Safer that Joe Wilson is a lying sack of sh*t."

Best of prince of leaves
"For the last time, Kwame: no, I don't want to give you my bank account number to help you get your money out of your country."

Best of Anonymous
ORA: If you go to Za'ha'dhum, you will die.

Best of Mr. Right
"I'm sorry, Master Windu, Senator Palpatine is tied up in a committee meeting today, he won't be joining us. Now what's all this mumbo jumbo I keep hearing about a Sith Lord?"

Best of Son Of The Godfather
"Let me make sure I understand you, Morpheus... If I choose the red pill, I wake up to a world where chaos rules and humans are lumps of mindless flesh being siphoned off of... So in that reality, Democrats are in charge?"

Best of Submariner
Gotta ask ya, M'Butti, how's that dress thang in a stiff wind?


Best of Jonathan Leffingwell
"But to answer your question, Samuel: Yeah, I think Harry Reid does look like a b#tch!"

Best of What, me worry?
"You know what they say, President Bush: The blacker the berry the sweeter the juice".

“Yes, Mr. Ambassador, I must agree: Muammar Qaddafi does indeed dress like a fag. I much prefer the understated masculinity your man-burka”.

“That’s what separates me from Nancy Pelosi. While she’ll eat her boogers on national TV, I’ll discreetly wipe mine on the insides of my trousers pocket”.

Best of bad-d-d-dude
Yea, can you help me be more jivey and hip-like? You know, kinda like Al Gore.

Looted this Booty from the AssPress Pictorial Graveyard, Yarrrr....

27 comments:

Rodney Dill said...

"Nope, I'm pretty sure this isn't Pizmo Beach."

AM42 said...

ORA- "Wait for the shake."

David Simon said...

"Someone call the Secret Service. I just found the guy who stole Joan Collins' pashmina."

David Simon said...

"I know it's chilly out here Desmond, but you've got to put that bedspread back in the Lincoln Bedroom."

David Simon said...

"You can have your passport back just as soon as you tell Morley Safer that Joe Wilson is a lying sack of sh*t."

prince of leaves said...

"For the last time, Kwame: no, I don't want to give you my bank account number to help you get your money out of your country."

David Simon said...

"That may be the way foreign relations are conducted in Burkina Faso buddy, but in America, we don't trade our Secretary of State for a herd of goats."

Anonymous said...

ORA: If you go to Za'ha'dhum, you will die.

Submariner said...

ORA:

It's for sure a white man's world in America. Look here: I raised that boy since he was the size of a piss-ant. And I'll say right now, he never learned to read and write. No, sir. Had no brains at all. Was stuffed with rice pudding between th' ears. Shortchanged by the Lord, and dumb as a jackass. Look at him now! Yes, sir, all you've gotta be is white in America, to get whatever you want. Gobbledy-gook!

Submariner said...

ORA:

"Listen...I'm tired of your chickenshit games! I don't want hints...I need to know what you know."

Submariner said...

OK, M'butu, let me get this straight; I give you a ride in Marine 1, 2 heifers from the ranch and 3 cases of Jiffy Pop, and you promise that the SheHag will just "go away?" Done.

Mr. Right said...

"I'm sorry, Master Windu, Senator Palpatine is tied up in a committee meeting today, he won't be joining us. Now what's all this mumbo jumbo I keep hearing about a Sith Lord?"

prince of leaves said...

President Bush takes a private stroll with the Kanamit ambassador before the state dinner welcoming our new alien overlords.

Cybrludite said...

ORA

No second chance, Blanc.

Son Of The Godfather said...

"Let me make sure I understand you, Morpheus... If I choose the red pill, I wake up to a world where chaos rules and humans are lumps of mindless flesh being siphoned off of... So in that reality, Democrats are in charge?"

Rodney Dill said...

"I'm sorry Mr. President, but this is a robe of my people, I am not one of your Supreme Court Justices, so please stop asking me questions about your constitution and stop calling me Clarence."

Submariner said...

So let me get this straight; your ancestor was "Kunte Kinte" and a slave, brought here against his will, and I need to make the American taxpayer give you $10 Mill in punitive reparations?

Am I on Candid Camera©?

Submariner said...

I really appreciate the work yer doin' fer yer people, Dr. Cosby...

Submariner said...

V. the K. brings in his top negotiator to haggle with Dawn's representative over what is and is not "within the bounds" of civility.

Jonathan said...

"But to answer your question, Samuel: Yeah, I think Harry Reid does look like a b#tch!"

What, me worry? said...

"Thank you, Mr. Ambassador, for personally delivering Iranian President Mahmoud Ahmadinejad's letter. Let me give you my reply without even reading it: Screw you, Axis-Of-Evil dip stick"!

What, me worry? said...

"You know what they say, President Bush: The blacker the berry the sweeter the juice".

Once you go black, you never go back.

"President Bush, about these NSA wiretaps...The constant CLICK CLICK CLICK on the phone leads me to believe that I'm either being confused with Osama Bin Laden or I am stuck in an old 1994 Sprint Wireless TV commercial concerning the quality of their competitors’ cellular networks".

What, me worry? said...

“Yes, Mr. Ambassador, I must agree: Muammar Qaddafi does indeed dress like a fag. I much prefer the understated masculinity your man-burka”.

What, me worry? said...

“That’s what separates me from Nancy Pelosi. While she’ll eat her boogers on national TV, I’ll discreetly wipe mine on the insides of my trousers pocket”.

Submariner said...

Gotta ask ya, M'Butti, how's that dress thang in a stiff wind?

bad-d-d-dude said...

Yea, can you help me be more jivey and hip-like? You know, kinda like Al Gore.

Submariner said...

♪ I bin in the right place - but it musta been the wrong time...♪